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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22510858">The Hardest Path to Walk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC_Writes/pseuds/CC_Writes'>CC_Writes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Two Halves of a Whole Idiot (In Space) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Depression, F/M, Featuring: Luke Skywalker, Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Haphephobia, I was dead but I got better, Kylo Ren Redemption, Previously dead character, Redeemed Ben Solo, Redemption, Resurrected character, Social Anxiety, Tags May Change, The Force, Trying to fix what you broke, Two halves of a whole idiot, anger issues, characters to be added as they appear, self deprecating thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:35:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>84,460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22510858</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC_Writes/pseuds/CC_Writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The majority of the time in a story when a villain is redeemed they are either magically forgiven for everything they've done, or they die.</p><p>The latter should have been what happened to Ben Solo, his crimes as Kylo Ren were inexcusable. But, several months after he should have died on Exogal he wakes up on a Resistance ship, and the only one who seems happy about that is Rey.</p><p>Now Ben must struggle to overcome the demons that haunt him. The severity of what he's done and their consiquences, what originally pushed him towards the Darkside, the truth behind what happened to him, the uncertainty of his future, and his growing relationship with Rey. (Jedi are not allowed to love after all)</p><p>What can he possibly do to even begin to make up for what he's done? Is it even possible? ...does he even have the right? It's something he should figure out soon, the Force does not tolerate inaction.</p><p>Features a brief lyrical excerpt at the start of each chapter, like a good little pulp.</p><p>(Chapters 1 and 2 are slower paced and establish the baseline for Rey and Ben. The action kicks off in chapter 3. So if you really want to skip the first 2 chapters you can :P)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>BB-8 &amp; Rey, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren &amp; Rose Tico, Finn &amp; Rey (Star Wars), Grogu | Baby Yoda &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron &amp; Finn &amp; Rey &amp; Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey &amp; Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Two Halves of a Whole Idiot (In Space) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Establishing Baseline Anxiety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>No mystery here, y'all know I have a weakness for real character redemption. &lt;3 It's only shocking that I haven't written something for Star Wars sooner.</p><p>No chapter-specific warnings. </p><p>Vocab:<br/>Kriff/Kriffing - The Star Wars equivalent of "fuck"</p><p>Stars/Whills - Far as I could find there's no equivalent in Star Wars to the phrase "oh my god" so, unless they're specifically religious, regular people say "Stars" and Force users say "Whills" which is a reference to the original title of the film series, “Adventures of Luke Starkiller, As Taken From the Journal of the Whills, Saga 1: The Star Wars” (How's THAT for a title? XD )</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>[</span>
  <span>I've been living all my days in a haze- Falling over boulders in my way</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God only knows how I've tried- But let me live the dream</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I've all I want- Still I want everything</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So can you help me I have lost my way- And I need some answers</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Can you fix me- I would like to stay- But I need an answer</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you can let it slip inside your mind- You are the only thing one of a kind</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then you let me take you home again- You are the only one to make me smile...]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>- Lost My Way, Wire Daisies</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...<br/>
</strong>
</p><p>
  <span>        In Ben Solo's humble opinion, the human body had exactly no right to complain about being tired after refusing to sleep the night prior. If he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> slept it wasn't for long enough to count for anything. Mostly what he'd done was change position, tuck his head under the blanket, and stubbornly keep his eyes closed, lest he did something cliché and stare at the ceiling all night… He was staring at it now- but it was day cycle so that didn't count and he'd only started because he'd caught himself staring at the Chrono by his bed. So now he was trying to decide if it was late enough to be believable that he'd slept... He could blame it on the surrealness of it all. Of waking up on a Resistance ship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of waking up period...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gingerly he shifted on his almost too small bunk, mindful of his still present injuries. A larger bed would have been nice, but he knew better than to ask, he was lucky to have a room to himself as it was. He'd have made do with a shared space if he'd been put in one but this was preferable, at least he didn't have to endure the glares of the Resistance soldiers here, not that they weren't deserved… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room itself wasn't terribly large either but that was hardly an issue, it wasn't like he had any belongings to keep in it anyway. Hell, he didn't even have the shirt off his back anymore (not that he'd particularly wanted it) so the slightly cramped quarters suited his needs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With care he eased himself down onto the floor and set about doing gentle stretches, trying to ease some of the stiffness that his lack of sleep had left in his recovering muscles. He pressed his thumbs lightly into one of his calves, moving slowly up and down so as not to accidentally cause his leg to cramp. This would be easier, he thought grumpily, if his sleep pants fit right. They were at least a size too small, too tight, and not long enough, which made it difficult to bend his legs to the angles he needed to do this the way he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn't complain. There wasn't too much in terms of extra clothes and very little was probably in his size and anyone who matched him was no doubt rightfully opposed to sharing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Moving back against the wall, Ben pressed his palms to the floor by his sides and slowly tilted his head from one shoulder to the other to stretch out his neck. In all honesty, if he did have to share a room he wouldn't have minded sharing one with Rey. If she was okay with that of course. With the frantic pace of everything and now this horribly slow recovery period, they hadn't had a whole lot of opportunities to just talk to one another. What with everyone constantly fussing over Rey and keeping an unnecessary eye on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That being said, it wasn't necessary for them to be in the same place to do that. Their connection was as strong as ever, but there was still a difference between using it because they wanted to and because they </span>
  <em>
    <span>had to</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Conversations had been fewer and farther between than he would like. Most of it up until now had been one of them inquiring as to the well-being of the other, usually because they could sense pain or discomfort over their connection.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In all honesty? He'd really like just a moment or two to spend with her, even just sitting quietly despite privacy being in short supply here. He wasn't a social person, never had been, but the isolation was still getting under his skin… and Rey- he felt… a lot of things for her, he knew she felt similarly, but it was something they should talk about face to face, wasn’t it? The Force drew them together but they couldn’t just rely on that if they wanted to build something from it. If they wanted to… Did they want to? Did Rey want something more now that she’d helped save him? Did </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>want more or was he just desperate for someone to cling to? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...maybe he wasn't as ready to talk about that with her as he thought...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a groan of annoyance, Ben thunked his head lightly against the wall behind him. All he was doing now was just thinking himself into even more of a knot than before. He really did need to get out of here, didn’t he? Before he drove himself crazy. He turned his head to glance at the door, quietly debating on whether or not to leave. That door was the very reason he'd been 'granted' this room in the first place. It was locked. Not by him, but from the outside. He suspected that this had once been a small storage room of some kind. When it had been converted into a living space he could only guess, however it wouldn't have surprised him if it had been when they were debating where to put him. As the locked room's sole occupant it was the closest thing to tossing him in a cell. The only reason he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn't,</span>
  </em>
  <span> was entirely thanks to Rey.  Save the Galaxy and people tend to go along with your requests, even if they aren’t fond of the idea. That was also probably the reason they hadn't just up and executed him-- he'd </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically</span>
  </em>
  <span> helped. Well, more than just that, he had very much helped, but obviously, that wasn't enough to have people just forget what he'd been a part of, and what he'd done…  He couldn't blame them for that either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a deep sigh, he swung his arms forward, palms out, fingers facing, and pushed them away from himself, arching his upper back forward until he felt the satisfying </span>
  <em>
    <span>pop</span>
  </em>
  <span> of vertebrae. It felt a little crunchy though...like dried leaves. He was dehydrated then. Wonderful. He needed to make sure to get plenty of water as soon as he could or he'd pay for it later...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spared the door another look. Should he throw on some clothes and go take care of that now? Maybe get some food too? No, he should shower first He might feel a bit more like a real person if he did, plus Rey would know he hadn't. At the moment he did feel very unmotivated, convincing himself to actually do a lot of basic things- like eating- but he very much disliked the idea of disappointing Rey so he would force himself to do them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A long moment passed and, yes, he decided, after a shower, he'd get something to eat. You would think that that wouldn't be that big of an internal debate but getting food would mean leaving the room and going to the mess hall and that would mean people and, as established, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn't want to be around people right now, and they him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Plus, there was the matter of the lock. It was there, obviously, to keep him in, and it had been made very clear to him from day one that if he wanted to go anywhere he would have to be accompanied by someone. Needless to say, he was not a fan of that. Good then that he could be exceptionally stealthy when he wanted to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, the shower didn’t take long. He'd made do with worse in the past but the jury-rigged space was even more cramped and certainly didn't inspire anything even </span>
  <em>
    <span>remotely</span>
  </em>
  <span> relaxing, so he sure as hell wasn’t going to stay there any longer than he had to. With that chore out of the way, Ben threw on what now comprised his sole outfit; the basic, baggy, tan, pocketed pants of a civilian repair crew; (flight crew, most crew…) a black, three-quarter sleeve shirt that he hoped wasn’t just too short; and a standard-issue vest. The boots were passable -- not as well made as his old ones -- but they did fit so he'd live with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He fidgeted, running out of ways to delay himself, and looked to the door again. That was it unless he just wanted to go hungry… he took a deep breath a deep breath- just another poorly hidden sigh- and extended his hand. It took very little effort to coax the locking mechanism open and to slide the door back once he had. He did feel a twinge of discomfort in the action, something akin to strain. Just another side effect from the grievous injuries he'd suffered, like them it would improve with time and use. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave the security camera pointed at his room a polite wave, mentally preparing himself for the guilt he'd feel when poor Rey received from Dameron about him "breaking out" of his room...again. He cast his thoughts ahead, sensing any living beings in his vicinity, and mentally plotted a route on which he would encounter none of them.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>          The mess hall was, on the whole, exactly what was to be expected, especially on an older repurposed ship like this one. It wasn't quite as large as some of the docking bays but it was arguably the largest room beside them. Still, it was small. Not overly cramped; tables, chairs, benches, all had been arranged in whatever way would maximize space. Against the far wall was a long line of tables sporting a small variety of beverages and whatever foodstuffs were available for the day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, the room wasn't empty and there was a noticeable, uncomfortable pause in conversation when Ben entered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few awkward moments, it started back up again with a more noticeably sharp edge. Maintaining a facade of having not noticed, Ben made his way to the long tables to scrounge something up. He knew without looking that Rey wasn't here. He resisted the urge to reach out across their connection to find her. She would be along when and if she wanted to, and he'd sworn to himself he wasn't going to abuse their link as he had before. Until he knew what was welcome and what wasn't, he'd let her be the first to make contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The variety of food on offer wasn't vast. Until recently, the Resistance had been almost exclusively relying on field rations. There were still plenty of those, but now that the war was over and their missions had turned towards restoration rather than fighting, fresher things had come trickling in. Ben surveyed what there was. He'd never been a picky eater and cared very little what he ate so long as it was what his body required to sustain itself. Not that there weren't things he favored but even then he just accepted what the Force gave him. That's what he'd been taught — and not just by the Jedi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Making a plate should have been quick but he was distracted by the oppressive atmosphere of dislike pressing down on him from all sides. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He regarded the collection of fresh food-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Disgusting - Just walking in acting like he has any right - Who let him out? - With how many times we had to go hungry - how many people starved because of - should be him for a change - should have just executed-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned away and snatched up two ration packs-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, he thinks he's too good for - snobby arrogant - he should be grateful to even get that - monster - just drop him off on a rock somewhere - acting like nothing happened - like he has any right - </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-and </span>
  </em>
  <span>another two for lunch, just so he didn't have to come back until dinner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was that cowardly? Just to prove to himself that he wasn't, he snatched up a canister of water from the table and threw back the whole thing, downing it in a scant few seconds. He secretly enjoyed the wave of confused astonishment from the room's occupants. He grabbed a second one, stowing it in one of his pockets. He was about to make some sort of escape when he was struck with a sudden feeling that he should stay. Oh, Rey </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> on her way here. If she was letting him know that then did that mean that she wanted to eat with him? Should he grab something for her? Would that not be seen as polite? Come to think of it...what did she even like to eat? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Maybe just something to drink then? Probably not plain water. Maybe caf? Did she drink that? Umm… Well, just about every Jedi he'd ever met ever drank tea. So then was that a safe bet? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at the variety on offer. The reality was that there were not very many but in his opinion having more than one just wasn't fair. How was he to know which one Rey favored? Which one she may dislike enough to not even drink?! Did she take sugar? How much? Maybe milk? Just thinking of her personality he was inclined to think she'd favor something sweet. Although that could be completely wrong, after all, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> quite liked sweet things, and clearly, he didn't come off as the type that would. Maybe he never had. Uncle L- no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Master Skywalker, </span>
  </em>
  <span>had referred to it as a child's sense of taste. Ugh! Blast all of that second-guessing! Rey was an adult, she could add whatever she wanted or didn't or who cared! He wasn't going to have an existential crisis about whether or not he knew enough about Rey as a person to know what she liked to eat or if that was good or bad or weird or-!</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><span>          In the end, he was sitting at one of the few free tables (way off in a corner because </span><b>of</b> <b>course,</b><span> it was) with a steeping cup of tea with absolutely nothing else in it, for Rey, and a cup of caf, with probably more sugar than a human should have, for himself. </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His ration packs were laid beside, unopened. He'd decided to wait until Rey arrived before eating anything, the least he could do to be polite. Not to mention he'd feel even more out of place if he kept sitting here after eating as opposed to sitting here with food and not eating it. Instead, he kept his attention on the two mugs, doing a simple focus exercise to help block out the other people around him. By using the Force to create micro-vibrations in each cup's contents they wouldn't lose any heat. On the surface, it might not seem very difficult but it was the sort of thing that was, in reality, quite delicate if you weren't careful. Poor focus meant you could reach beyond the liquid and shatter the cup. It was simple but effective and best of all, able to be done without drawing attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Falling asleep?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben raised his head in mild surprise, more so at the playful tone of the comment than who had said it. It worsened when it turned out that said person, Rey, was far closer than he'd expected, leaning down and peering over his shoulder. As a result, they were nearly nose to nose. A mild blush graced her features when he jumped and he felt his face heat up.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Rey awkwardly cleared her throat, "You look like you're about to fall asleep," she reiterated, "or is your drink that interesting?"</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>She was dressed much as she had been the last time he’d seen her; the same white tunic and pants; the same long strip of thin cloth wrapped around her, the ends shifted and fluttered with her movements. It was like they were an extension of her mood. It suited her. However, it did make him wonder if, like him, she only had one outfit? Perhaps it was simply a personal preference? Oh- her hair was different today, simpler than normal, top layer pulled back into a ponytail, the rest down. Was it weird to say he liked it that way? Should he compliment her? Tell her it was fetching?</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Rey raised an eyebrow and he abruptly realized he’d been staring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben coughed and tried to save face, "No, I'm fine. I just don't believe in mornings, it's all a lie created by the Jedi to punish their apprentices. I'm simply fighting back against their tyranny."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey gasped in faux horror, "Sounds like a noble cause, you're so brave!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes, yes I am," he replied flatly, "also this is yours," he gestured to the mug of tea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That earned him a soft smile from her, "And this is yours," she said, holding up a plate. Seemed she'd had two and he hadn't even noticed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben opened his mouth in protest but she was already taking a seat across from him, drawing her mug toward her without much effort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You didn't have to-" he began but stopped when she shot him an exasperated look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes I did," she said, "You can't just live off of ration packets."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Technically you can."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gave him a scathing look that reminded him so much of ones his mother would have given him when he was about to get in trouble, that he immediately shut up, "You know what I mean," her expression softened to one of concern, "I know you're not fully recovered yet and it's not good for you to avoid eating a proper meal."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not trying to," Ben said quietly, "things are in short supply and there's probably plenty of people who deserve-" he trailed off, suddenly feeling like he was about to cross into a discussion he wasn't ready to have yet, "I just figured this was easier." He finished, close enough to the start of the truth to not be a lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey sighed, "I understand." He had no doubt that she did. Even without the link between them, she'd know, "But, that's why I'm still going to get on your case about it. Someone should and I'm volunteering."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He huffed a quiet laugh, "Guess I should do what you say then, I've seen how determined you can be."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Smart move."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked down at the plate she'd brought him. To say it was packed to capacity was an understatement, there was probably a hefty portion of just about everything that had been on offer. "Don't you think this might be too much though?" he asked, feeling torn even as he said it. Now that he'd had a good look — now that he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>smell </span>
  </em>
  <span>it — he felt a jarring impulse to shovel it all down. Why hadn't he realized he was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hungry</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not," Rey assured him, "I noticed how much hungrier I’ve been these last couple of weeks. I’m eating a lot more than normal and I'm recovering faster too. I think it's connected — not that anyone believes me," She popped an entire slice of bread in her mouth, eating it before continuing, "Don't think I haven't been able to sense the same thing is happening to you. You're still hungry and you don’t eat anything extra. It’s a little aggravating that you’re ignoring it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ouch. Well, now that she'd brought it up…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"At least one of us noticed," he conceded, finally giving in and picking up his fork, digging into some kind of fruit that looked particularly good, "I just had other things on my mind. I think you're right about it being related to our recovery, our bodies are working overtime. Not all of the injuries we have are physical and some should have-" uh, let's not go there yet. He cleared his throat, "It feels like we're drawing strength from the Force even though we're not consciously trying to. That's probably why we're not bedridden." Of course, she probably already knew that. She was a full-fledged Jedi, not an apprentice, though the circumstances of her training were a bit different. He shoved another chunk of fruit in his mouth to keep himself from rambling further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey hummed, pushing some mix of egg and diced vegetables around on her plate, "We were really lucky, weren't we?" Several seconds of awkward heavy silence passed between them and Ben mentally kicked himself for not being able to think of anything to break it, "What kind of tea is this anyway?" She asked, lifting her mug to sniff it, "It smells a little… it's hard to describe... spicy? But not really? And not in a hot way, and a bit, almost fatty?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben shrugged, "I'm not sure, I just picked what I thought seemed good? It smells okay at least."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey took a sip, "That's not bad actually! It is a little oily, but it's not unpleasant. I can't place the flavor but it reminds me of how Rose described cake."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You've never eaten a cake?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, there weren't any luxuries like that on Jakku and I haven’t had a chance to try many new things until now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah," Ben looked down at his plate, "I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey lightly tapped his foot with hers, "Don't be. There wasn't anything you could do about it. Everything's fine now so don't worry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Easier said than done…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Have you tried this?" She asked, holding the mug out to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tilted it more towards him. "Try it," she insisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hesitantly Ben took it, uncertain as to why he suddenly felt embarrassed. It was just tea… He took a small sip before passing it back, "That is good." Personally, he thought it could use some sugar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Good!" Rey declared, "Then next time you'll get yourself some too, right? You can't just live on water and caf."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, so that was her game. Ben grumbled, "Fine, I will. You were serious about getting on my case, weren’t you? You think I'm just making excuses."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know you are," she countered, matter-of-fact and smug, "That's why you'll be joining me for lunch, and dinner too until I can trust you to eat real food."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Challenge accepted." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gave him a swift kick under the table and he couldn’t help but grin into his next bite of bread. At least he knew it was still easy to rile her up, that meant that things hadn't changed too much between them, at least not in a negative way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, it appeared they were being too noisy and starting to attract attention. The cold stares and ugly whispers, which had been steadily rising in volume and frequency since Rey had sat down with him finally reached a level where they could no longer be ignored. Ben did his best to keep up his indifferent exterior, despite being far from it on the inside. On the other hand, Rey's displeasure was painfully obvious, she was trying to keep a handle on it but she'd never had to hide it to the extent he had. That wasn't him putting her down, of course. That, he thought, was a good thing. Her outrage at anything she saw as an injustice, even for someone like him, was something about her that he admired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Let's hurry up and finish, we still have to go to medical before they get mad and send someone to find you again." Rey groused, doing her best to hide the source of her irritation, "I don't know why you avoid them, it making me feel like I'm your keeper."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Could have fooled me. I thought you’d volunteered?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey huffed, "That’s hardly the same thing."</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Well, we could always just not go?” Hoping against hope, but it was still worth a try.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Absolutely not. You’re going and I’m going. Even if I don’t</span>
  <em>
    <span> need </span>
  </em>
  <span>to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uh-huh…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's true! I'm still getting my strength back but aside from that I'm fine. There's nothing else they can do other than poke and prod and somehow be </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad at me</span>
  </em>
  <span> for getting better!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's the same reason I don't want to go but you're still making me." Ben pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's different!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's really not."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It is!" Rey protested, "Your injuries were much worse than mine, of course, you need to be checked on!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben rolled his eyes, pushing his cleared plate away from him, “I’m fine.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You’re not,” the way she said it made his chest tighten, “Just… I don’t know, do this for me? Please?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” He apologized softly, “I will, I’m just feeling cooped up I guess,” not that he had the right to complain, “I don’t like just sitting around not doing anything.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Rey smiled, reaching the small way across the table to take his hand, giving it a squeeze that made him feel centered in the world again, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me either. I keep asking for things to do but no one will let me. It’s like they’re afraid I’m going to fall apart like I’m some kind of liability.” She laughed, trying to lighten the mood, “I’m starting to get desperate! Poe’s busy with a lot of new responsibilities and can't talk to me. Finn’s been helping deliver supplies to recovering worlds and when he’s here he just fusses over me and won’t let me do anything. I haven't the slightest idea where BB8 is. Rose has been so busy doing repair work on what I swear is every ship in the fleet! I don’t think I’ve even </span>
  <em>
    <span>seen </span>
  </em>
  <span>her, let alone had the chance to talk to her. I’m tempted to track her down and harass her until she lets me help!” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m tempted to give you and hand with that,” Ben grumbled, “Not sure what I’d do exactly but I’m probably still at least a little intimidating.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, goodness don’t do that!" Rey laughed, getting to her feet and grabbing her empty plate, "Actually you haven't had a chance to meet her yet, have you?” she mused, “I'll introduce you to her later if I can get her out of the ship's internals for five minutes. I'm sure she'll like you!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he doubted that very much. Rising to his feet Ben grabbed his plate, "Come on, let's get this over with."</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>           One medical bay was like any other and Ben hated them all. He had never liked being stuck in the medical wing of anything. Doctor's offices, hospitals, medical bays on starships, he despised them, they always felt so... suffocating. With pristine, white walls, the smell of antiseptics and disinfectants, it was unsettling how it could be so eerily quiet one moment only for the slightest sounds to clamor in your ears the next; the pings and beeps of equipment and occasionally the groans of pain from severely ill or injured patients, or worse, from the family who had lost them. It was magnified a thousandfold if you were force-sensitive. Suffering and death clung to places like this; even after the dying were dead and the survivors had gone home it all stuck to the room like tar. Pain and anger, misery, grief and mourning, all of it stayed. No, nothing good ever came from going there. He'd braced himself before entering specifically for that reason. It was hard, feeling all those echoes around him of all the Resistance members who had been here. Knowing that he bore at least partial responsibility for them all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rey repress a shudder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't like this, </span>
  </em>
  <span>her thoughts were crystal clear, </span>
  <em>
    <span>it feels so cold. I want to leave as soon as possible.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Agreed. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey was quickly approached by one of the few non-droid staff, a warm green, Twi'lek woman, all smiles and kind bedside manner, “Good to see you, Jedi Rey, you're looking well. Shall we get started?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctor whisked Rey away and the young woman was only able to give him a glance of mild distress before she vanished behind a privacy curtain. He, on the other hand, was all but ignored, which suited him fine honestly, it was easier to just be looked over by a medical droid who had no real opinion of you one way or another, or at least didn't talk to you like they cared while radiating feelings of hate and disgust. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One such droid greeted him plainly when he approached, sequestering him behind a curtain as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If you would remove your outer garments we can proceed with your examination," she intoned in what was probably supposed to be a soothing voice, "While you are doing so please answer the following questions. When you are ready."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben sighed and pulled off his vest, tossing it onto the exam table before leaning down to unlace his boots, "Go ahead."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Very well," the droid replied, raising her list of questions, "Are you having any difficulty ingesting food or fluids?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you having any trouble expelling food or fluids after your species' digestion process?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben made a small noise of embarrassment at the nature of the question, "No, I have not."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you having difficulty with movement or range of motion?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you having any impediment to sexual stimulation or any similar activities?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>OH GOOD! By all that was holy in the universe he wanted to just disintegrate right then and there, "I… don’t see why that’s important."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The droid made some sort of note next to that awkward question and continued on without missing a beat, "You reported continued pain and discomfort during your last exam. Has it persisted?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes," he admitted. There was no point in hiding it; not only would scans show the strain, but he'd be jeopardizing his standing with Rey and her friends (whatever precarious one he might have) should he lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The droid made another note, "You previously rated it at three. On a scale of one through ten, how would you rate your pain now?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Between two and three. It's at its worst if I haven't moved for a while."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Understood," the droid regarded him as he sat on the exam table, now clad in only socks and undergarments, his other clothes set aside, "you declined painkillers before, is this still the case?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben nodded, "Yes, I don't want any."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Very well. Lastly, is there anything you are concerned about or any changes you wish to note?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Setting aside the medical file the droid moved into his personal space, "I will now begin the medical examination, please do not hesitate to ask any questions that may come to mind or report any sudden discomfort."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben nodded again but he was already tuning the droid out, the sooner this was over the better.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          It had been some time since Palpatine's death and… his own? He was still a little fuzzy on that. However, a good deal of the damage from that last encounter was still there, healing slowly. As far as he was aware he'd been unconscious for the most severe parts of his recovery so had been spared experiencing it. Rey, only a little better off than he'd been — in that she hadn't been literally cuffed to a bed — had explained his injuries as best she could. The medical staff should have done it but they had been busy treating other people and, even if he wasn't force-sensitive, he still felt their intense distrust and dislike weighing down the room. Not that he could blame them... </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey had hesitantly given him a concerningly long list when he'd asked. The broken bones: legs, arms, ribs, hip? Those he'd figured. He'd felt them clearly enough but the list of fractures was even longer: several fingers, wrist and ankle joints, multiple spinal fractures, one on the back of his skull, and one on his left occipital that had been dangerously close to blinding him. She didn't bother to try and list the bruising, only to say that it wasn't just skin and muscles but some internal organs too. She'd hesitated a bit on the last part and he soon understood why. The neurological damage on both of them had been, well... the doctor had said "catastrophic" and Rey told him that the best she'd been able to understand was that it would have been the equivalent to completely frying every circuit in a droid’s body…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way she fiddled uneasily with her hands when she told him made it clear and he'd struggled to move his own to take one of hers. Anyone with that level of damage shouldn't be alive at all much less moving around or speaking coherently. In a cracked and weak voice that had startled him to hear come from his own lips, he'd quietly consoled her. It didn't need to be said — they weren't stupid — they had both died, he had revived Rey and had seemingly been rejected by the very death he’d taken from her. The only reason they both weren't bedridden at best, or brain-dead at worst, was undeniably a result of their connection to the Force, perhaps even because of their status as a dyad. Something was allowing their bodies to slowly fix the otherwise irreparable damage and continue to function at a reasonable level while doing so, almost out of sheer stubbornness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remembered her smiling a little when he'd attempted a joke, "space magic" he'd said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So they were alive beyond all conventional logic. Still, he was bothered by the gaps in his memory. Flashes of people and things, lights that were too bright, images blurred through a bacta tank, incoherent whispers, a barrage of muddled emotions, sporadically confusing to the point that he couldn't tell if they were his own or not, and of course terrible pain. He'd blacked out a lot, that much he was sure of and, all things considered, it made sense. Nonetheless, it was a bit unsettling. He didn't like being unconscious. What bothered him the </span>
  <em>
    <span>most </span>
  </em>
  <span>though was the time before that, what had happened between his... death, and his ultimately waking up here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He remembered... climbing the cliff, all but crawling to Rey while struggling with the agony that ripped into him at her presence being gone, pleading for her to come back, realizing what he had to do to revive her... He remembered the euphoria when he'd felt her hand on his, life in her eyes again…she'd kissed him and he'd held her so tight, it was easily the happiest he'd been in a long time. Even now he treasured that memory. After that, he remembered... feeling peaceful as his own life slipped away and he'd fallen into quiet darkness. After that… it was all fragmented. He remembered his mother speaking to him and the things she'd said. All else was a mess, distorted and fragmented, with the experience somehow feeling both longer and shorter than he felt it should have been. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had tried meditating on it a few times but each attempt had left him with the same clattering of images and a splitting headache. Unfortunately, it seemed that for now at least he had no other option than to just trust that he would gain some insight once the Force deemed him ready.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Patience had never really been his strong suit though, had it? He supposed that meant it was time to learn, whether he liked it or not…</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your physical examination is complete," the medical droid intoned, pulling Ben from his thoughts, "I will now tell you my findings."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Please do," hopefully whatever the results were they would be good enough to convince Rey that he wasn't in any danger so she wouldn't be so worried about him…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am pleased to note that the last signs of all breaks and fractures to your skeletal structure are gone. Your internal bruising shows over 98.75% recovery. You are in no danger from them, however, I must advise that you refrain from anything stressful or any such activities that may result in significant amounts of force being applied to your body. There is still mild bruising present in over 70% of your muscular system. It is recommended that you avoid strenuous activities or lifting heavy amounts of weight, especially over your head. It is also recommended that you perform occasional stretches to stimulate blood flow to encourage recovery. You may find additional relief in the use of warm baths or showers, hot compresses, or massages to affected areas." She paused a moment, tilting her head in the jerky manner droids usually displayed when they were processing a particularly puzzling problem, "The strain and damage present in your nervous system appears to be healing at a more increased rate since your previous exam. Unfortunately, I am unable to provide any advice regarding home care for this injury other than continued rest."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben sighed, "So I've been told…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The medical droid visibly reset her optical receptors, "I do have one final set of questions,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, here we go…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know that you expressed aversion to answering before but I am afraid standard protocol dictates that I ask them again."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben waved her on with a tired exhale, already reaching for his clothes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Have you been experiencing any feelings of depression or anxiety?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I decline to answer."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Noted. Are you having a difficult time finding happiness in things that previously brought you joy?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As though that was even a fair question considering his circumstances, "I decline to answer,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Noted. Finally, would you be interested in speaking to a psychological specialist?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No." Ben finished flatly, adjusting his vest, "Are we finished?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The exam is complete," the droid confirmed, "I will schedule you for another follow-up. If you have any issues before then, please don't hesitate-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He ignored her, making a beeline for the door before she was even finished speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh... goodbye.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey was already waiting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So I just got a - Hey, is everything alright?" She asked, matching his stride as they walked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes," he answered, "nothing new. Same thing as before. Rest."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ugh, feels like that's all we've done," she grumbled, "that's not all that's bothering you though, is it?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben paused in the hallway, gathering himself, taking a moment to exhale slowly, "I'm tired of them asking if I want to talk to someone." He said finally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They ask everyone that though, don't they?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They do. It just feels like there's more pressure behind it when they ask me. I've already said I don't want to."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt Rey's gentle hand on his arm, "Maybe at some point, you should?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her expression was one of concern and it hurt to know it was over him. "No," he told her quietly, "for several reasons but mostly… I already have everyone looking at me like I'm defective, just broken goods they can't wait to find a reason to space." He covered her hand with his own, squeezing softly in apology, "anyone I talk to wouldn't be any different. No matter how big a smile they wore I could feel their animosity, I'd know it was all fake."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I…" Rey tried, "I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don’t be. Can't do anything about it and it's not odd or unreasonable that they all feel that way."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed, "I suppose. It doesn't mean I like it though." The young woman was quiet for a moment, her gaze falling away before returning to his beseechingly, "If you ever do want to talk about anything at all you can come to talk to me. It doesn’t matter what it is. You’re not alone anymore."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was when she said things like that, with such pure sincerity, that something welled up in him and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His throat tightened and he felt a stinging in his eyes that he quickly blinked away. Just these simple acts of kindness made him feel so fragile. It was a struggle not to humiliate himself by saying or doing something foolish.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swallowed hard and worried at his bottom lip, eventually managing to reply, "Thank you. That means a lot to me. I don't know when exactly I'll be able to but I can't think of anyone I'd rather it be." And that was completely true.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was something sad in Rey's eyes even though she smiled, "I'm glad," a few moments passed and her expression turned a little guilty, "I’m sorry to do this but I have to go, Poe wants to see me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, right, his little self-pity crisis had cut her off before she’d had a chance to say anything, hadn’t it?  "No, that’s completely fine. Do you know what it’s about?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Something about Finn I think. He's due back from his mission any time now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I see."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Whills, I feel like I'm bailing on you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't. It's alright," Ben gave her a reassuring smile, "Go see your friends."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey hesitated, her hand slipping down his arm until just the tips of their fingers touched, "I want them to be your friends too…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," he said softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Promise me you won't go back to your room,” She added, slowly backing away but reluctant to part, "I know you hate it, and there’s nothing to do there. Just go for a walk or, I don't know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>something! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Anything that isn't just sitting there staring at the wall…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm promising a lot of things today."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Because I know you'll do them if you promise, right?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Right."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, she let her hand fall away from his, and then she was gone.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          While Ben fully intended to do what Rey had asked it was much easier said than done. He did his best to remain as unremarkable as possible (and wouldn’t that be a miracle) whenever he walked through the halls, but hardly helped. As he already knew, he was expected to be escorted wherever he went, and if not he was supposed to stay in what was essentially his cell. Perhaps it wasn't particularly </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say kriff to that and just wander around wherever he pleased, using his promises to Rey as an excuse probably less so, but he couldn't deny there was a certain joy he took in frustrating the resistance's new commander by doing exactly that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Practically speaking his sneaking around searching for someplace where no one else was a good idea too. He wasn't sure how many, people were left who didn't know what he looked like. According to Rey, it had been quite a shock when medical had realized who he was. - Thankfully he’d been unconscious for that part… So who knew, maybe by this point his picture had been passed around and they all knew his face. Or maybe as far as they knew he was still the dangerous masked menace Kylo Ren? Or maybe they were keeping his existence under wraps between this ship and the others? That last one he doubted, what with gossip being what it was… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So either Rey didn't quite understand the situation here (which he very much doubted, she was ignorant of a lot of things but she wasn't stupid) or, more likely, she was willfully ignoring it. At the very least hoping that if she was stubbornly passive-aggressive about it long enough that everyone would just give up and be nice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That wasn't how things worked though. He wasn't anyone's potential new friend, he wasn't a fresh recruit getting to know the place. He was a prisoner, plain and simple. Again, he likely wasn't in a cell because of Rey but if they did try to put him in one they knew they couldn't force him in or even keep him there. He wouldn't hurt any of them and he wouldn't've even tried to escape, but they didn't believe that for an instant. Neither would he if he were them. Honestly, things would probably be easier if he just asked to be put in a cell... but he wasn't, so he got to wander around a ship where no one wanted anything to do with him. It was just like being in the First Order only with more hate and less fear. Basically a ship full of Huxs. Mostly, people just stared at him, their feelings wafting his way like a bad smell. Some of them would try to follow him at a distance like amateur spies, as though he didn't know exactly where they were even if he wasn't actively looking. Occasionally someone actually worked up the nerve to approach him and try to shoo him away from an area that he wasn't supposed to be in, which seemed to change with the proverbial wind. The reality was that aside from his "room,” the mess hall, medical bay, and general hallways (with an escort, mustn't forget!), he wasn't actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>allowed</span>
  </em>
  <span> anywhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> rarely (in that it had happened a total of two times) someone had confronted him directly. Shouting or screaming, blaming him for the death of loved ones, which he couldn't deny; or accusing him of scheming up some plot to kill them all, which wasn't true but it wasn't like they would believe him. In both cases, he'd said nothing. He was very fortunate that as of yet no one had tried to take a swing at him. Whenever that inevitably happened he would only have two choices and he hated both. Either he defended himself, which would no doubt be seen as him being violent even if all he did was disarm or restrain them, or he let them hit him which would make Rey upset and only make things harder for her and, though slim, there was a chance it might actually kill him if it was a significant enough blow. Being strong with the Force meant he could do a lot of things and survive some things that would kill other people- present case in point- but he wasn't invincible and having his head beaten in with a pipe or being shot would certainly kill him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, he had made a promise and he was on a bit of a crusade to </span>
  <em>
    <span>keep </span>
  </em>
  <span>those right now, so wander the halls he did, like a big weird specter, trying to think of anything he could do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To start, he spent a handful of minutes staring out the window into the blackness of space trying to maybe feel anything close to awe at the vastness of it. There had been a time when he was little where that would have been the case, where he would have been happy and content to watch the numerous celestial bodies drift by, trying to see which ones he could identify. Not anymore.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Something did stir his interest when he walked by the windows overlooking one of the docking bays and caught sight of the Millennium Falcon. Nostalgia welled up tight in his chest with a sudden and strong desire to go to it like the old ship had called out to him. He quickly quashed the feeling, knowing full well that going down there wasn’t possible. No way he would be allowed even remotely close to it. So he stared at it, right there where he could see it, but likely forever beyond his reach. It was stupid to wish, what would he even </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> if he could go down there? Just… sit in the cockpit? Was it even the same anymore? From here it seemed to hum with all the time and emotions its former owner had poured into it, but Ben couldn't imagine that anyone would have kept it as his father had left it. All it was now was something that reminded him of a time he could never have again and he only had himself to blame.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"H-hey," a squeaky stammering voice called out, breaking him from his internal depreciation with an admittedly embarrassing jump. A few feet away, with still enough space to flee, was another man a handful of years younger than himself, dressed in the gear worn by the flight pilots. He shook from head to toe with fear but had enough courage not to faint. Not yet at least, "You, umm," he continued, his already pale face paling even more, "You can't-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Can't be here, yeah I know," Ben sighed, listlessly waving the younger man off, "You win, go tell your friends you scared away the big, bad, evil guy."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Back to walking around aimlessly, again. Delightful…</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>           Ben didn't have any other direct encounters after that but still plenty of glares and whispers any time he stopped somewhere or had no other option but to go down a hall with people in it. It took some time and several nonsensical turns down side halls before he finally found himself alone. At last! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-so now what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a frustrated groan, Ben took a better look at his surroundings. He'd gone down several decks and found his way into what looked to be a storage space of some sort somewhere far down in the bowels of the ship. Everything was more cramped here, far more of the ship's internals were exposed. Pipes and cables climbed the walls and snaked across the ceiling and there were boxes and crates stacked seemingly without rhyme or reason. The air felt warmer and more humid than the more populated portions of the ship, with what he hoped was steam hovering in the air and, evidently escaping through the small gaps between the pipes and ducts. The light down here was a dimmer warmer yellow rather than the bright bluish-white of the upper decks. Maybe it was because he grew up playing and hiding in the secret spaces of a ship designed for smuggling, but this place was oddly cozy. But, other than getting lost or accused of sabotage… what could he even do down here? When he was little he'd play pretend or find a small space to hole up in and nap. So, the two things that he was absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Well, the place was quiet, and the atmosphere was relaxing, in a nostalgic way, might be a nice spot to try some kind of practice? He hadn't had a good place to do anything decent and while this place wasn't open enough to do mock sword forms or run laps or anything like that, it was far, </span><b>far</b><span>,</span> <span>roomier than his sad excuse for a bunk. Plus, there was no one down here to tell him he was overexerting himself!</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In no time at all, he found himself a good spot. Testing the limits of the space Ben went through what basic forms he could do without a saber. He carefully and deliberately moved through each one, turning his focus inward and paying close attention to how his body responded. There was mild discomfort with some of the poses, particularly ones that required him to bend or reach. The pain wasn’t sharp, but more of a mild burn- which was good. The kind of pain that felt strangely satisfying. As he did them, the motions became a soothing mantra in his head; move your leg forward, inhale, turn your body to the side, rest your weight down onto that leg, exhale, move your back leg, turn your body, inhale, raise arms to First Position, shift your weight from your front leg onto your back leg, hold, feel the tension in your muscles, exhale…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He kept at it until he felt like his limbs didn't have enough blood in them and noticed that there was a faint tremble in his movements. While his body might be worn out Ben found that, to his satisfaction, the aches in his body were gone for the moment and his mind felt much clearer and lighter. Wiping the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, he found a good place by some boxes and set his vest down to use as a makeshift mat. It would be at least a little more comfortable than the hard metal floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He arranged himself the best he could, back against a large metal crate, legs crossed, hands loosely in his lap. With practiced ease, he closed his eyes and centered his breathing. Inhale, letting his focus fall once more inward, following the breath down to his core, exhale, spread awareness further throughout the body, repeat until he allowed it to expand outward away from himself. He let the Force capture his attention. It wasn't something he could "see" exactly but, when he was younger and when he'd first started his training he’d tended to describe the Force like swatches of color, shifting and blending like water or air. Later, when… everything had gone wrong he hadn't been able to see it that way anymore. Well, until that moment on the husk of the death star, when he'd let go of Kylo and taken himself back. His connection to the Force felt more familiar now, the "color" muted but returning. Like his body, this too needed to heal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, the Force </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> everywhere; he could feel it, flowing like wind, or sand, or water, like the gentle heat from a flame, the minute movements of a plant unfurling a leaf. On the whole, it was not "light" or "dark,” just a thing that was there. It moved both around and through everything, from the bulkheads to the inanimate objects in the room, to himself. With every breath it filled his lungs, every beat of his heart it raced through his blood. In this, all things were connected, and at the most basic level simply matter and thus the same. It was in this way one could understand that if the objects in the world and the body were no different then, therefore, one was an extension of the other and could be acted upon as part of the self if your will was strong and focused enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It began with little things, loose screws, scraps of material, the clipped-off ends of wires, dust bunnies, all slowly rising when his awareness set them free from gravity. Larger things like boxes and crates responded next. Moving one was no different than the other, weight and size were irrelevant, but no feat was free, and the more you enacted your will the more effort you used and the more of your strength and energy had to be given to shifting the Force from it's chosen path. No different than any other exercise if you thought about it. Around him, he could feel life. Flashes of color, bright little lights of the ship's crew, and off in the distance he could feel Rey, a brilliant sun, as gentle as it was blazing. She was dazzling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Force whispered, soft and soothing without any distinguishable words or ideas. There were just faint echoes of all that was, had been, and the endless paths of what would or could be. He allowed himself to drift along with it and listen to its song, moving objects to the ebb and flow as a child might send a leaf bobbing along a slow river with a stick. It wasn't easy to admit but he'd missed how peaceful and easy it was. It was natural, just like breathing... Inhale… Exhale…… Inhale…… Exhale……….</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><em><span>You need to understand I'm not doing this to spite you le</span></em><b><em>ft me here you made me and threw me aw</em></b><em><span>ay from home we've </span></em><span>looked everywhere and ca</span><em><span>n't find the answer th</span></em><b><em>at you're looking for means </em></b><b>that yo</b><span>u've been tryin</span><em><span>g to get you out why won't you </span></em><b>listen to me you say it's for my own good but there are still people insi</b><em><span>de I can't leave them but I can't hold on it's too heavy I can't do this </span></em><b><em>alone and abandoned just the way everyone lef</em></b><em><span>t you and you did it to me you do</span></em><span>n't know how much I hate you </span><b>I wish yo</b><b><em>u'd died instead of her</em></b><em><span> but it's not fair to say that if I ke</span></em><span>pt hating like that i'd bur</span><em><span>n up in flames and sm</span></em><b>oke that's so thick he can't bre</b><em><span>athe and he didn't want th</span></em><b><em>is I didn't mean for this to happe</em></b><em><span>n to them but no one will do anything and they're ju</span></em><span>st throwing this at us because they don't wa</span><em><span>nt to deal with it it's like they think it's all a big jo</span></em><span>ke like I can't make </span><b>my own choices</b><span> yo</span><em><span>u're always doing this you keep saying such </span></em><b><em>terrible things about yourself but it's not</em></b><em><span> a lie just like everything else that's all he ever thought his life was and he was always so lonely but you never thought about that did y</span></em><b><em>ou I served my purpose I protected you but </em></b><b>you </b><b><em>threw me aw</em></b><em><span>ay and left me to </span></em><b>die</b><em><span> it should have been me and not you I couldn't imagine going on in </span></em><b><em>a world that didn't have you in it</em></b><em><span> makes sense if you think about it</span></em><span> you keep struggling </span><em><span>on ahead but you </span></em><b>haven't forgiven</b><em><span> but not forgotten because I don't think I ever will is the key here you need to be strong and focused and always </span></em><span>remember me but you don't have to</span><em><span> keep clinging no one is going to leave me </span></em><b><em>all by myself when I was only six years old and I never saw them again I was always waiti</em></b><em><span>ng even though </span></em><span>I knew they were never coming back for me</span><em><span> but I knew you would </span></em><b><em>you'll never be rid of me</em></b><em><span> or what you did to you and you said you'd </span></em><b>make them pay</b><em><span> that we'd burn it all away until there wasn't anything left to hurt us but you lied and left me and I couldn't stand it that you'd value your own life so little that you'd throw them away like garbage and we pick them up and </span></em><span>give them a purpose</span><em><span> and the most important thing is that it's </span></em><b>a blade that can be turned off </b><em><span>it doesn't always have to be about you but that's what this is isn't it you can't move past how much it hurts and you won't break the c</span></em><span>ycle of nature that we're a</span><em><span>ll a part of </span></em><b><em>the building came down</em></b><em><span> on top of them and in the distance </span></em><b><em>she can hear them screaming but it's too heavy to risk moving forw</em></b><em><span>ard or backwards so she's stuck and can only cry at least that's what I told myself but I was being weak and </span></em><span>that's where the Jedi made their mistake</span><em><span> because that's not how this should work I know it will it has to I have to find him I know you don't understand I can't keep doing this isn't your fault please understand that Ben and Kylo Ren is me as much as he isn't how the force works it’s </span></em><b>not magic there's always a pri</b><em><span>ce to pay and I'll find out what that is and I'll do it right because I can't be without y</span></em><b><em>ou hurt her so mu</em></b><em><span>ch do you think you could ever make up for it there's nothing that could possibly be given that's how it works you took the oath and </span></em><b><em>you are mine</em></b><em><span> and I will not give you up and I w</span></em><b><em>on't let her take yo</em></b><em><span>u from me you're just a </span></em><span>foolish frightened child</span><em><span> in a mask and I can see you through the cracks in the end </span></em><b><em>you can't</em></b><em><span> hide </span></em><span>from me I</span> <b>will find you in the mirror and the gaps between </b><b><em>and</em></b><em><span> you are mine!</span></em></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"-wake up! Are you okay?"</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben bolted upright, breath coming in ragged gasps. Already he was losing focus of the vision, all of it muddling together and dissolving into shards and fragments. Instinctively he reached out to the side to grab… wait where were they? His pens and parchments? He needed to write everything he'd seen down before he forgot-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey," a voice called out right beside him, its owner shook his arm, "Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>alright</span>
  </em>
  <span>?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben whipped his head around so fast that he nearly head-butted the young woman who was crouched down beside him. She let out a startled squeak, almost falling over, her hand tightened to an almost painful grip on his arm and he let out a grunt of discomfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh Stars, I'm so sorry!" The young woman fretted, "Are you okay?" She repeated, "I was looking for something and found you back here, you were just laying on the floor!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben blinked, "What? No, I'm fine I-" right, he wasn't in his room at the temple…he was on a Resistance ship, he'd been meditating and…"I, uh-" his voice wavered in embarrassment, "I must have fallen asleep." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time it had happened...it had been a nearly regular occurrence when he'd first started training with Master Skywalker. That was how his Master had learned about his intense visions and encouraged him to write them down so he wouldn't forget. Later he'd- well Kylo Ren had no use for such things, whether it was the dark side, Snoke, or an effect of his ill-made persona, he was still beset with visions, all just as intense, but he didn't bother to record them. Looking back he wished he had, some carried emotional reactions so strong that they'd left him shaken for days, even though he couldn't remember them. He didn't have any writing materials now and already the details were nearly gone, leaving only vague feelings and impressions… Damn it…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure you're okay?" the young woman pressed, "I don't think I could sleep on the floor like that unless I was dead on my feet…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben finally looked at her properly, trying to glean what he could from her appearance; short black hair pulled back hurriedly into a ponytail, a roundness to her face and body that suggested someone who wasn't a regular part of combat, but an undertone of muscle that spoke of a great deal of manual labor. She wore a loose, tan jumpsuit, and he spotted heavy gloves tucked into a side pocket. An engineer then?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night," he admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah that would explain it," she chuckled in amusement. Why’d he get the feeling that she'd been on both ends of this scenario before? "I thought maybe you'd collapsed or hit your head or something terrible like that. I'm glad that wasn't what happened! Sorry for overreacting." Her eyebrows suddenly shot up, "Oh I'm being so rude!" She quickly extended a hand in a clear indication that he should shake it, "I'm Rose Tico!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh! This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rose</span>
  </em>
  <span>? The same one Rey was friends with? Were they the same or was that a common name? "Oh, uh," he quickly sat up properly, took her hand, and shook it. Try and keep her from thinking he was even more of a weirdo than she already did, "I'm, Ben,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her grip was surprisingly firm and energetic and he felt a wave of relief roll off her when she smiled. "So," she said, moving to sit down herself instead of hovering over him, "what </span>
  <b>are</b>
  <span> you doing down here?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah, well," he felt his face heat up, "honestly? I was looking for something to do."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Something to do?" She echoed, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>down here?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, no one will let me do anything anywhere else so I went where there weren't any people," Oh that sounded like something a sane, normal, and all-around grounded person would say, didn’t it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose's brow furrowed in confusion, "Why?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Uh… "I well- I got injured a while back," that wasn't a lie exactly. It wasn't completely</span>
  <em>
    <span> true</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but telling her exactly who she'd found napping in a corner was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible </span>
  </em>
  <span>idea, "I'm fine now but no one will let me do anything and I'm a little sick of staring at the wall."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Rose nodded in understanding, "Ugh, I've been there! After Crate, no one would let me do anything for </span>
  <em>
    <span>ages</span>
  </em>
  <span>!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, that was the planet where…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben swallowed hard and did his best to control the roll of fear and guilt in his stomach.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh! Don't worry, I'm completely fine now! It wasn't that bad, really!" Rose quickly added, misunderstanding his unease, "I mean- I get it, people worry about you. But, they don't understand that you can't just do </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>! It will drive you crazy!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh! Yes, exactly!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose hummed in thought, "Well… I don't want to risk getting chewed out by the med team, I don't know what they've cleared you for, but…" she looked him over hesitantly, "If you don't mind my chattering you could come and help me do a maintenance check? Wouldn't be a lot, just handing me tools and checking work orders and stuff. Mindless busy work."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, bless this woman! "I would be absolutely delighted." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose choked on a laugh at his enthusiasm, "Okay Ben! Consider yourself hired!"</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          Rose, it turned out, was indeed a chatty young woman. It seemed she made it a point to know what was going on with everyone she worked with and the general status of, not just this ship, but of all those currently considered part of their fleet. She lamented that she’d been so busy since the end of the war that she was, as she put it, completely out of the loop. Apparently, she was skilled enough at gathering information that she'd even nabbed herself a mole in the First Order. In the past, Kylo Ren would have found that information infuriating but Ben found it amusing. Good for her. Wonder who it had been…? </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>She shared a surprising amount of what she’d been doing as well. She’d been bouncing back and forth between multiple ships. After the battle of Exogol, there hadn’t been a single one that hadn’t suffered some sort of damage so every member of the Resistance's engineering teams had to be shared between them. Rose expressed that while she enjoyed her work she was still glad that she was glad to be back to a single ship. She wasn’t overly fond of racing from place to place like an Endorian Chicken with its head cut off. Just because it was necessary didn’t mean she had to like it. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>They avoided personal topics on the whole which Ben greatly appreciated, save for when Rose briefly mentioned a sister. There was a swell of grief that skirted along the top of her emotions and she’d quickly switched topics, so he decided it was best not to ask anything about her and was content with letting it stay a mystery. Rose may not have picked up on who she was talking to yet but, chances were once she did she wouldn't have been very keen on telling him anything else. She’d probably come at him with a wrench. He’d heard from Rey what she’d done to Finn...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The work they'd been doing was fairly mundane but after being inactive for so long it felt like a breath of fresh air. It primarily involved checking over the work other engineers had done, which wasn't a bad system. Having someone else give a repair a once-over would ensure sure nothing was missed. Given that the majority of the ships in the Resistance's fleet were repurposed or exceptionally old it was essential. True to her word, Rose only let him check her datapad, hand her things, and do a visual assessment- only after she'd learned that he'd done ship repairs before. He had the odd feeling he was being tested in some way when she asked for his feedback on something — probably an engineer's pride. Her’s was well deserved if that was the case, he could tell that much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Alright</span>
  </em>
  <span>," Rose dragged the word out slowly, moving her penlight along a weld to make sure it had fully sealed the break, "The junction box looks good… you can mark that down as clear." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben ticked the box next to the repair report, humming in confirmation as he did so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Cables are hooked up correctly… let's see about those breaks…" she tapped each with a finger to keep track, "Good, good, good- ah, this one was soldered but not covered." She held out her hand, passing Ben the penlight, "Okay, I need the clip light and a piece of insulation tape about two inches long."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben passed her the light and quickly tore her a strip of tape, "Done and done."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wow look at you, you're the perfect assistant!" The young woman teased, reaching in to expertly wrap the wire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's almost like I've done this before," he replied, trying to be casual. This was a relief if he were honest. Doing something mundane with someone who didn't know who he was, no biting comments, the opportunity to do something constructive, even if it was small, and the activity itself was a little nostalgic, in a bittersweet way. He’d rather not mess it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Who taught you?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Huh?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How to do repairs," the engineer clarified, passing the light back to him so he could put it away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh uh, my father," he admitted after a pause. It hit home just how many things in his life were connected to his father. Even the smallest of recollections felt like it had to be carefully navigated, "Whenever he'd take me with him on his ship there would eventually be something that needed to be fixed. So I ended up helping out and when I was older I did some by myself."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ouch! Had a junker huh?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben huffed out a laugh, "You wouldn't be the first to call it that. You wouldn't think the way he’d talk about it. Something always seemed to be wrong with it though, he used to say the ship was doing it to spite him. Never understood why."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah," to his surprise Rose reached over and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, "I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blinked, "For what?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Painful memory, I could tell. I didn't mean to bring any of them up."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he that transparent? "It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn't look entirely convinced, "If you're sure," she climbed to her feet and dusted her jumpsuit off, grabbing her toolbox and gesturing for him to follow as she headed to the next spot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know," she continued after a short silence, "Everyone here has their own scars. I don't think there's a single person who hasn't lost someone or something, a part of their lives they can’t get back. I guess what I'm saying is, you shouldn't feel like you have to face your demons all alone. You'd be surprised how understanding people are."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's… Very optimistic," he ventured. Unfortunately, that would never be the case for him, he'd accepted that. "I'll try to keep that in mind."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose seemed satisfied with that answer and didn't say anything further until they reached the next work spot.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>          "So this one is a bit weird," Rose said, studying the work request and attached report.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How so?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, …it's not the repair we're here to check- I mean we're going to but that's not the main reason." She held out the pad for him to see, "See, Celiss was down here yesterday and he said he heard a rattling sound when we jumped to hyperspace. Thing is, his people have hearing that's a lot better than the rest of us, so it might not be something serious, maybe a bit of grit or whatever? Just a vibration hitting weird?" Rose shrugged, "Either way, I just want to make sure. Better safe than sorry and all. Plus we have actual time now so we can afford to check up on stuff like this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben nodded, standing clear so she could look over the spot where the maintenance had been done, but just close enough that he could watch over her shoulder. The initial reason the other engineer had been here was to change the filters in this junction of the atmospheric system, and that was simple enough to double-check. With any luck, the rattling sound was just a filter put in incorrectly or just not secured.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose pulled each filter out partway and looked it over before slotting it back in and moving on to the next, "I don't see anything wrong with these," she murmured, "So it's not that… unless the fitting is loose?" She rapped her knuckles against the casing, listening intently, "I don't hear any rattling but might as well check the bolts. Ben? Can you hand me a number… six hex wrench, please?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thanked him when he passed the tool to her and gave each fastener a quick twist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting back on her haunches Rose let out a frustrated hum, "Not the bolts either. They weren't loose at all…" she leaned closer and tapped the box with the wrench, "Still don't hear any rattling." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tap, tap</span>
  </em>
  <span>, on the incoming duct.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not here…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tap, tap,</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the outgoing duct.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Huh," Rose pressed her ear to the duct and tapped it again, "I think I hear something?" she pulled back and stood up, "Sounds higher up…" she leaned her ear to another duct and tapped it, "Closer. Maybe over here?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben watched with a kind of admiration as the small woman hopped up, onto a thin ledge created by the floor lights, and shoved her entire head and part of her upper body into a gap between several pipes. A minute later the chorus of faintly echoing tapping and grumbled curses abruptly ceased.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah-ha! I found you!" With a small grunt Rose hoisted herself free, turning around and triumphantly presenting a segment of pipe about two inches in diameter and four inches in length with a broken, rusted, fitting at one end, "Look at this thing," she laughed, "it was rusted to the wall and jammed against that segment up there," she gestured to somewhere higher up, "It must have fallen off or got dropped ages ago and no one found it. At least we got it out, that should take care of the rattling!" She flashed him a grin and with a delighted little hop, lept back down onto the grating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She'd barely opened her mouth to say something further when a small metallic </span>
  <b>
    <em>ping </em>
  </b>
  <span>rang out and ricocheted down the wall and something small and shiny ricocheted off the floor and vanished into the grating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I- what was that?" Rose choked out, voice tight with fear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A far louder metallic screech thundered down from above them and the young woman let out a cry of alarm. Without even thinking Ben rushed forward, dropping the toolbox as part of the wall rolled like a wave and crashed. He grabbed Rose's arm and pulled her down with him, leaning over to shield her as he threw his free arm out above them. There was a horrifically loud sheering twisting sound as a massive section of ductwork smashed down onto them, twisting and crumpling where he blocked it with the Force. Ben grunted with effort as it jerked to complete stillness less than half a foot above his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose stammered and gaped at him, her whole body shaking like a leaf. Her eyes finally looked away from him; flitting around the scattered and broken scrap that surrounded them; along the length of the wall, over the twisted damaged piping that had been torn up when the segment fell, leaking steam and dripping fluids; up to said giant section of duct, currently floating above their heads; to him, and back again. She let out a warbling whimper as what had just happened and what its outcome had </span>
  <em>
    <span>nearly </span>
  </em>
  <span>been sunk in, "I-I oh Stars, y-you, you just-" she let out another sound of alarm when he lowered the chunk of scrap to the floor a few feet from them with an echoing thud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay?" Ben asked her, trying to ignore the shock and terror radiating from her, he didn't succeed when her eyes widened and a sharp bolt of realization flashed through her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Y-you're- uh, yeah!" Rose replied, "I'm okay! I, I can't believe-" pushing away from him and scrambling to her feet, "I think," she continued, a little too fast and a little too loud; backing away slowly, "I think we're done for the day! I'm uh, I'm gonna go get a team to fix this! Y-you can, go, uh, wherever you need to or, or something." She stumbled, nearly tripping over the debris,  squeaking out, "Sorry!" before she bolted away down the hall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kriff...</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure you're okay?" Rey asked him, several hours later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were sitting at a table in the mess hall again. Not alone this time, however. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Directly across the table from him and to Rey's left sat Finn; the former Stormtrooper had changed a lot since they’d last been face to face, their brief fight on the snow-covered surface of Starkiller Base. Whills, that felt like a whole other life. In a way, Ben supposed, it had been. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Now, Finn looked far more at home — hair noticeably longer and proudly dressed in the Rebellion's colors — than he likely ever felt in his trooper armor. His fear and uncertainty had been dampened by courage and a hardened resolve. As Kylo Ren, Ben had thoroughly studied the other man’s profile and record, trying to find an explanation for his “betrayal.” He’d only been deceiving himself. He now realized that while </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kylo Ren </span>
  </em>
  <span>had been searching for his answer, behind the mask, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben </span>
  </em>
  <span>had been trying to understand how someone who had only ever known the brutal dogma of the First Order, who was nothing to it but a series of letters and numbers, had escaped when he, himself, could not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a little too close to jealousy for his liking, even now. To see Finn looking so natural and at ease beside Rey, radiating mild unease but just beneath it a well of stalwart support for his friend. Ben felt ashamed that he couldn’t match it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I am," Ben finally said, truth be told his shoulder hurt a little from the incident earlier that day, but it wasn't anything that wouldn't be gone tomorrow. No need to make her worry. That and he didn't need to make her feel she needed to defend him by telling her how he'd gotten it. The last thing he wanted was to drive even more of a wedge between her and one of her friends…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're staring at your lunch like you're trying to kill it with your mind," she deadpanned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know, technically I </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>do that,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey scoffed, "Your sandwich has done absolutely nothing to deserve that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Can you… do that?" Finn asked, curiosity winning over the apprehension clear in his voice. He prodded his soup with his spoon, "I mean umm…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ben!" Rey squawked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"She can too."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben</span>
  </em>
  <span>!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything," he shot back. Really, he’d just been trying to get a rise out of her and get her off-topic. Okay, and maybe spook Finn a little. If he were honest it was a juvenile thing to do… It hadn't had the desired effect of making Finn go away either and now he had to </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> talk to him and try to smooth things over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My joke was misplaced, I apologize." He told the former trooper, "To answer your question in a less… ‘offensive’ way; factually, yes, you can take a life using the Force. However, it is not something I would recommend to anyone, it is not a pleasant experience."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah, okay," Finn said wearily, "thanks for the advice?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben sighed, "Uh-huh."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ben," mild irritation was clear in Rey's voice, "Don’t think I can't tell you're trying to change the subject. Something happened didn’t it? Why won't you tell me about it?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whills, that made him feel so guilty… "Nothing abnormal. I spooked some guy down on one of the flight decks. Apparently, I am not allowed down there."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young woman frowned, "What do they think you'll steal a ship or something?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not an unfair assumption," Finn pointed out. He scrambled a little when Rey gave him a hurt look, "I mean they don't know him the way you do, so they can't know for sure! Uh, no offense."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"None taken," Ben shrugged, "If the situation was reversed it's what I would do. You don't let a prisoner wander around the flight deck, it's common sense."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're not a prisoner." Rey protested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes," he told her firmly, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I am,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and that's fine."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young woman huffed, letting the topic drop though she was unhappy about it, "What else did you do?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tried to meditate."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finn cocked his head, "What, like with the Force?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey glanced at Finn, “Of course with the Force.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It could’ve been like a relaxation exercise or something…” Finn groused, glaring at her childishly, “Is it hard?” He asked, returning his attention to Ben.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey made a face, “It's not supposed to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not, I just-" oh this was awkward this being more open with people… well, some people. Rey's friend at least? Well, maybe just Rey, "…might have fallen asleep."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You fell asleep?" Rey snickered, grinning wolfishly, "That's so adorable, I'm sad I missed it." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finn coughed and suddenly found his lunch very interesting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben felt his face heat up, "I don't know about that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why would a nap upset you though?" Rey pressed, ignoring his embarrassment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was, again, childish, but if she was going to try and drag the story out of him in front of her friend then he was going to dig his heels and make her work for it, "I had a vision."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widened in surprise, "Really? What about?!" She asked excitedly, leaning forward in her seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I uh… don't know," he admitted, at his sudden audience's confused looks he tried to explain, "If they happen while I'm asleep there's usually a lot of them at once and they tend to be very intense. So normally I can’t hold onto them for long after I wake up." He hesitated a moment before finishing his thought, "Master Skywalker encouraged me to keep writing materials by my bed so I could write them down. I had a calligraphy set for a while actually, I don't have them now obviously so…" he trailed off. That was too much information, why had he just blurted it out like that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his surprise Finn piped up, "That's too bad, they must have meant a lot to you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben blinked, "Uh, I guess, it was a gift from- well it doesn't matter, but I used it for a long time."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finn’s brow furrowed in thought, "You couldn't just use a datapad and stylus?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I could have probably, but the Jedi, at least my Master, lean hard towards older things, so that’s what I was taught with. Probably why I prefer more- I guess you'd say; traditional, tactile, mediums? It's easier to channel what you want through them."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey visibly perked in curiosity, "How so?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, as long as it kept him from having to talk about the incident with Tico… “What it ultimately comes down to is how much of a connection you have with whatever you’re using,” Ben tried to explain, “Older items just have- </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> of whatever their owners put into it. Something traditional, that you can touch and feel? It's easier to connect with.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“And what did you mean?” Rey leaned over the table, eyes glittering in excitement, “Channel what exactly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh like," Ben grabbed at the air, "it's not just a single thing, but ultimately it's about letting the Force guide your hand. Automatic writing, casting images, things like that." He hadn’t done any of that in ages either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Huh, maybe I should find something like that and have you show me what you mean? It sounds interesting!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben flushed a little against his will, "I uh, don't see why not? But I don’t know that-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hold that thought," Rey said suddenly, hopping up from her seat, "Rose!" She called, leaning over and waving excitedly at something behind them, "we're over here!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...Of course, just his luck…</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Ben reluctantly looked behind him to see who she was waving at. Sure enough, there was the engineer from earlier, standing awkwardly a few tables away, a tray of food in hand. Yes, bad luck confirmed. There was only one Rose, and that was Rose Tico </span><em><span>and </span></em><span>she was Rey's friend </span><b><em>and</em></b> <span>the same woman he'd met that afternoon. He'd suspected that but now he couldn't pretend he didn't… he'd been hoping to avoid letting Rey know he'd traumatized yet another one of her friends for maybe at least a day...</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose made her way over to their table, she looked nervous and it only got worse the closer she came. By the time she stopped next to Rey, she was radiating unease like a big neon sign.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey, bless her, soldiered on like nothing was wrong, "It's so good to see you!" She hopped to her feet, giving the other woman a hug, which Rose happily returned with her free arm, "It feels like a million years."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose managed a laugh, "It hasn't been </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>long. Just, close to it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh! Also," Rey added, gesturing, "This is Ben, he's who I wanted to introduce you to!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Rose shifted uncomfortably, her nerves clawing back with an abruptness that felt like getting hit in the face with a rock, "we uh, met already."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What? Wait," Rey looked between them in confusion, "when?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Today — a few hours ago," Rose answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The growing look of hurt on Rey's face stung.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ben? What happened? Why didn't you tell me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't want to make things worse for you…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll tell you what happened — I promise —  just one second," Rose pleaded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To Ben's surprise, she spun to face him, shifting uncomfortably, tapping her fingers fretfully on the bottom of her tray. What was she doing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry!" she blurted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huh?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"For ditching you, like that!" the mechanic clarified, "You basically saved my life-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What happened now!?" "Excuse me?!" Finn and Rey interjected over one another.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh, my Stars in a minute! Let me finish!" Rose hissed. "Anyway! I'm sorry I ran off like that. I just, I got- it scared me," she couldn't meet his gaze, "almost having that huge thing land on me… I could have gotten hurt." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben felt something in his chest sink a little. What she was saying wasn't a lie but that wasn’t all that had scared her, he could sense it. He expected it. Learning who he was, already knowing what he'd done… anyone would be scared. So why did the thought make him feel so disappointed?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's not the only thing I need to say sorry for," Rose continued, "Truth is I…was scared of you too when I realized who you were. Then I was really angry, about... everything that the first order did. But then, I was really mad that you didn’t tell me," She looked away guilty, "Now I don't honestly know how I feel..."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's fine," he said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, it's not!" Rose insisted, her sudden earnestness taking him off guard, "That's not how I want to be. I thought about it after I stopped freaking out. Even if it did torque me I can understand why you didn’t say who you were. Ben Solon and Kyo Ren, I can't reconcile the two, and it's not just because you helped me. The way you acted, the way you talked, even your body language, it's completely different from what I'd heard and how I'd thought you'd be," she shifted uncomfortably, “I always said things like; if someone who’d done terrible things sincerely wanted to make up for it that even if I didn’t like them that they should be allowed to do it. I'm… disappointed that in reality when faced with that exact scenario I didn’t do any of what I said and that it took you literally saving my life for me to actually think about giving you a chance” She bit her lip, "what am trying to say is; I'm still a bit freaked out, but I hate the idea of being a hypocrite even more. I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole time she'd been speaking Ben had stared at her something akin to shock. It took him a few solid seconds to even say something, "You don't-" he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rey narrowing her eyes at him, "Uh, I- thank you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young mechanic let out a sigh of relief, "Thank goodness…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey clapped her hands in delight, "Now that that's settled," it was amazing how she could just bounce back like that, as though it was all no big deal, "You, sit down," she pointed to the free chair to Ben's left. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Aware that Rose was still on edge Ben shifted his seat over to the right, putting up a guise of having done so to make space. It was likely painfully obvious that that was not the case but the engineer looked grateful if a little guilty. He didn’t think any less of her for it though, it was unfair to make her or anyone sit by him. He’d brought on the reputation that preceded him after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don’t keep us in suspense,” Rey eagerly questioned her friend. “Tell us what happened!" She raised an eyebrow at Ben, "and why I didn't hear about it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ouch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I said I didn't want to worry you…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A sigh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You are so </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>dense </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>sometimes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Double ouch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose's face reddened in embarrassment, as she recounted the events of the accident to Finn and Rey. Strangely the way she was telling it everything seemed more exciting? More heroic? Ben didn’t get it, what was the point in building up his actions like that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Somewhere in the retelling, Rose had switched from unease and embarrassment to excitement, "Looking back, it was pretty amazing! The </span>
  <em>
    <span>crater </span>
  </em>
  <span>he left in that thing was huge! I don't think I've ever really seen the Force up close before either and if he hadn't been there- that's a Force thing right?” she suddenly turned to him, “Knowing that you need to be somewhere to help someone?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben blinked, "Sometimes?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For some reason that seemed to delight Rose even more, "I have so many questions! Like…Like when Rey told me you were alive she said Kylo Ren was dead. I don't get that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An uncomfortable silence settled over the table and Ben became painfully aware of all eyes suddenly being on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh no, should I not have asked that? Is that personal?" Rose fretted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I was curious about that too!" Finn cut in like he was trying to take the heat off of her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, that was an understandable precaution. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's okay, I’m not mad," Ben eventually said, swallowing nothing and absentmindedly worrying his lip. No, not mad. He felt a bit hot but also cold; heavy, like he’d filled his pockets with stones, “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about that right now.” His voice sounded almost foreign to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to!” Rose jumped to reply, “It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> really personal, isn't it? I'm sorry!" She shifted a bit in her chair, "What I said before still stands though! Everyone here has gone through really difficult things, I know they aren't the same, but we're all happy to listen. Right, Finn?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Uh, right?" Finn agreed. Or tried to…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"See? They understand. You’re already making friends," Rey beamed at Ben, her joy rippled through the Force like a pebble in a pond, "So…” she looked from him to Rose, "maybe you can tell me why you got to go play with Rose, and I didn't?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her attitude was teasing but the phrasing still caught him off guard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beside him Rose mock gasped, looking scandalized, "Rey!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't on purpose," Ben assured Rey. If this faux indignant attitude was her way of distracting him from the pressure of the previous question, he would happily take it, "It was a complete coincidence... will of the Force... you know how it is."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey narrowed her eyes at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know what's going on," Rose chimed in, "but I'm not sure I like that I'm a part of it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We're bored," Rey told her, still in an impromptu staring contest with her opposite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Extremely," he confirmed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So it's not fair-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Life isn't-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you that bored?" Finn cut in, (did he think they were actually fighting?) "Enough to be mad if one of you gets to do grunt work?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"At this point?" Ben confessed, "I'd gladly to </span>
  <em>
    <span>inventory</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Whills so would I," Rey agreed with a whine, "we're so pathetic."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You'll get used to it,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey playfully kicked him under the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You've done inventory?” Finn questioned, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>You?</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben snorted, "Yes? Why wouldn’t I have?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Finn balked, “Well, because- I mean, you had more important things to do right? Like-” the younger man stumbled for a moment, “Like practicing with a lightsaber and doing, I don’t know, Force kicks?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Force... kicks?” Ben asked slowly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a thing,” Finn protested, “That’s a thing, right?” he not so subtly murmured to a snickering Rey.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Ah, I see.” Could he answer this one? Why did everything feel like it was impossible to talk about? He needed to say something. He could already tell the mood was turning tense again, “I… see why you might think that but no. I’ve had to do inventory many times, even at the Jedi temple,” he could do this, just don’t dwell on it. “It used to be Master Skywalker's go-to punishment when I was a Padawan," he moved quickly to explain when they all stared at him, "The stage before Jedi Knight when you're an apprentice under a Master. I was… ten, eleven? But, yes I can assure you I was in the library, food stores, or supply room many, </span>
  <em>
    <span>many</span>
  </em>
  <span> times.” They were still looking at him… like they expected him to say more, “At least, until he realized I was being disobedient on purpose so I could get out of listening to lectures and text recitations."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You did</span>
  <em>
    <span> not</span>
  </em>
  <span>," Rey grinned gleefully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I did," he insisted. She’d trained with Skywalker too hadn’t she? She had to know how stubborn and inflexible he could be, "They were always so dull. It was better to just read the texts myself and ask questions later. He didn't like that I had a comment for everything either. I mean, questioning thousand-year-old teachings is one thing but… I wasn't exactly… tactful about it?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose snickered into her drink, "That is amazing!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It is?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It </span>
  <b>is</b>
  <span>!" She grinned, "You sassed back </span>
  <em>
    <span>the</span>
  </em>
  <span> Luke Skywalker, you tricked him into letting you out of, what, Jedi classwork? That’s legendary! I love stories of stupid things people did when they were little! Doesn't matter who they are, everyone has one!"</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>Ben fell silent as this prompted the others to start jumping in with their own stories or tales of people they knew who had done absurd things — Rose, in particular, seemed to have a great many stories about Poe, which Finn was openly eager to hear. He didn’t chime in with any more than a passing comment or two but it didn’t feel forced this time and his silence didn’t feel so out of place. For the first time in a while, it didn't feel quite so oppressive and depressing, especially seeing Rey laughing and smiling, like this was normal. Glancing at him from time to time as if to indicate that this could be </span>
  <b>his</b>
  <span> normal too. It was selfish but he wanted to pretend that it could. To keep it that way as long as possible, before reality set back in…</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<strong>TBC</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Navigating Emotional Pitfalls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben smirked, resting his chin on his hand, "Oh you would be surprised." He lowered his voice conspiratorially, "I learned my first curse words from my mother. The songs I learned from my father and his "friends"."</p><p>"No," Rey could feel a grin forming on her face, "She never would have let him, surely!"</p><p>"She didn't like it," Ben shrugged, "But her job was critical and kept her far too busy to spare time keeping me out of trouble," there was a touch of regret and disappointed acceptance in his words, "I spent most of my time with my father anyway. It was that or leave me with a nanny droid, and Whills know I got very good at escaping from them fairly early on and it wasn’t wise to leave me alone."</p><p>Rey laughed, trying to picture a tiny little Ben, all pudgy baby limbs and wild hair, sneaking past fussy droids to find his parents. She hoped it was as adorable as she imagined. "I still don't know that I entirely believe you. A bar or anywhere else Han might go for fun is absolutely not any place for a child."</p><p>"Pot to the kettle. I can prove it."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"Name a song. I bet you I know it."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>NOTE: I made some edits to chapter 1. Nothing super major just shored up some dialog and expanded some parts. It reads much better now imo!</p><p>No real warnings? Characters having flashbacks and trying to maneuver around triggers? I used the Rise of Kylo Ren comic mini-series as a guide for parts of this.</p><p>I've also been listening to the Light of the Jedi audiobook, it's soooooo good. It's set in the high republic era and it's really great for getting a feel of how the Jedi were at their height. Very much recommended.</p><p>(Also my computer tried to auto-fill the chapter title as "Idiots Battle to the Death on a Roof" Which honestly confused the crap out of me until I realized that was the title of the last chapter of my fic Pupper XD )</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>[</span>
  <span>Fill The Glasses One More Time And Never Heed The Empty Bottle</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turn The Water Into Wine And Turn The Party Up Full Throttle</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Don't Go Out Into The Cold Where The Wind And Rain Are Blowing</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For The Fire Is Flaming Gold And In Here The Musics Flowing</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It Is Not Day, No Love, It Is Not Day And It Won't Be Till Morning</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's Not Day And It Won't Be Yet, The Highlight Is In The Moon</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tell Me That The Night Is Long, Tell Me That The Moon Is Gleaming</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fill My Glass I'll Sing A Song And We’ll Keep The Music Streaming</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until All The Songs Are Sung!]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>- Níl Sé'n Lá, Celtic Women</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away...</b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          "Your prayers have been answered!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose's declaration echoed slightly in the quiet corner of the mess hall, drawing annoyed glances from a few of the less distant occupants. Rey stifled a laugh, turning away from the game of Pazaak she had been playing with Ben -and a surprisingly competitive Finn- to the mechanic, who looked very pleased with herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What prayers?" The Jedi asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose snorted, "I got you and Ben a job is what I did."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey beamed, the relief and restrained elation she felt from Ben added to her own. Finally. Finally! They could do something other than sitting around all day, "Whills, Rose I could kiss you!" She trilled, "What sort of job is it? What are we doing?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mechanic's smile grew sly, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Weeeell</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the two of you did say that you were bored enough that you'd do just about anything. Including," here she paused just long enough that Rey almost wanted to shake her, "Inventory!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll do it," Ben immediately piped up from the other side of the table, "gladly." He leaned back in his chair with a mildly dramatic sigh, "We're running out of things to do. I'm even getting sick of this." He waved his cards listlessly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't get to say that when you keep </span>
  <em>
    <span>winning</span>
  </em>
  <span>." Finn pouted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben raised an eyebrow, "Do you think that I'm cheating?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I- well no! Not exactly! I mean, you could just look with the Force though, couldn't you?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose laughed while Finn floundered and Rey had to bite her lip to keep from joining in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She supposed she could see why Finn might make that assumption. There was a particularly large pile of "chips" in front of Ben. (Well really they were small square biscuit things a little bigger than a one-inch hex nut but they served their purpose.) It would have been easy to use the Force to peek into an unguarded opponent's mind and see their cards, that much was true.  There was also the constant feelings and intuition being sensitive brought, you couldn't do much about that. However, Rey highly doubted that's why Ben was winning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honestly? It was really just down to skill. Han had been Ben's father after all and she highly doubted he wouldn't have taught his son how to play any number of games of chance. Given how Ben had been at the bottom of the first two games before gradually getting up to this winning streak it seemed the most likely answer. Loath as she was to admit it, he'd just been rusty and needed to get back into the swing of the game, simple as that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too bad though, up until that point she'd been the one with all the literal chips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her skills seemed to surprise Finn too. The young woman didn't understand why though. Up until recently, she'd lived the life of a scavenger and that had included trying to find ways to pass the time. Some of the older scavengers at the trade-in post, not yet too jaded by the world to take pity on a little human girl, had taught her how to gamble. It was risky sure, to play for parts or rations but it was as exciting as things got without becoming violent, and it kept one sane.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, I am not using the Force," Ben said, glancing up at Finn flatly and adding, "Trust me. You're just bad at this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tone and mannerism were so much like his father that Rey was momentarily taken aback. Unfortunately, either Ben sensed her sudden comparison or he'd had the same thought, because he visibly clammed up again and stared pointedly at his cards, mumbling something about how Finn would get better eventually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunate. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey understood that things would take time- a lot of time- but it was still disappointing to see a brief glimpse of the real Ben only to have him hide once more. She kept telling herself that it was better than before- and it was. While still not keen on sharing much of anything with anyone other than her, Ben was actually starting to talk with Finn and Rose about things more than strictly business and awkward greetings. One step at a time, she had to be satisfied with that.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Glad to know you're both so enthusiastic," Rose chuckled, pulling them back on topic, "who knows, you might even enjoy it." Clearing her throat she continued, "So, with the worst over, most of what we've been doing has involved clearing out pockets of Imperial troops who were still stationed at various planets, space stations, and so on."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey didn't miss the potent flash of guilt from Ben before he hurriedly crushed it down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That means deciding what to do with the supplies and equipment left over." Rose added, "Most of it goes to the locals but there's always things leftover that we don't readily know what to do with. So it all gets tossed into crates and sent back to the fleet. Which means someone needs to sort it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh!" Rey chirped excitedly, "It's all salvage!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Exactly!" The other woman exclaimed, "I knew you'd get it!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose wasn't wrong. Despite having no love for her former life as a scavenger Rey did admit that there were certain aspects that she almost missed. There was something rather relaxing about sorting through a box of scrap, seeing what could be fixed or saved or turned into something else entirely. Even with her new life as a Jedi Knight, she would always have a fondness for mechanics and tinkering. It was kind of a life philosophy if you thought about it. If it couldn't be fixed it could be repurposed, even complete scrap could be melted down and forged anew. Nothing was ever discarded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"When do we start?" She pressed excitedly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not long actually," Rose replied, "The cargo ships got here a few minutes ago, they're unloading everything now. You can start bright and early, once the primary sleep cycle is over if you want."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey couldn't hide her eagerness as she turned to Ben, practically shouting, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please please please please please, </span>
  </em>
  <span>across their bond.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A soft smile graced his features, "That's fine with me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Excellent!" Rose grinned, "Now someone scoot over, I want in next hand."</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>         The next "morning" saw Rey in the main hangar bay, watching the last of the crates being unloaded from the transports, each on their way to the rooms where they would be sorted. Rose had not been joking when she'd said there were a lot. Rey was standing with at least fifteen other people (plus Ben) and it was all she could do not to tap her foot impatiently. Truth be told it was embarrassingly difficult to reign in her excitement. It had been far too long since she'd been allowed to do more than rest. Frankly, she was sick to death of it, her restlessness had begun to plague her like an annoying itch beneath her skin. It brought back to the surface, feelings of being trapped, suffocated. The lack of real freedom loomed uncomfortably over her and there were only so many ways to distract from it until that was all there was. Only so much you could meditate on before the only things left were ones you'd rather not tackle just yet… Yes, something new but familiar would do her a world of good!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben didn't share her same level of enthusiasm for this specific task but she was glad to sense that his looking forward to this wasn't solely out of boredom. He'd mentioned before, in the first almost proper conversation he'd had with someone other than her, that he'd found the process of sorting and organizing things somewhat relaxing. It made sense though, that someone like him would enjoy keeping items neat and structured. A sense of control in an uncontrollable world, perhaps?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From the corner of her eye, she saw him try to subtly stifle a yawn. Under the harsh white of the hanger lights he looked even paler than normal and she could see the hint of bruising starting to form under his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you still not sleeping well?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She finally ventured, thoughts moving with ease through their connection in the Force, silent to any eavesdropping. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt him hesitate before his reply drifted through her mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A little, I suppose. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He paused just a touch too long. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It probably doesn't help that I've never been a morning person. I got used to being up early but it takes me a bit to be awake. Caf is a godsend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You could start taking naps.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben snorted almost inaudibly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Adults don't take naps, Rey.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Says who?! I took naps all the time on Jakku when it was too hot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This isn't Jakku. Besides, I'm tired of sleeping.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey let it drop with a silent sigh. She understood getting sick of just sitting around and doing nothing but sleeping- it wasn't like she wasn't in the same position- except Ben </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn't </span>
  </em>
  <span>sleeping! Maybe it was the lack of activity that made it difficult? Hopefully, after today he'd be able to get a full cycle of sleep. She hoped so...</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, everyone, settle down!" A middle-aged human man called, breaking her out of her restless thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The group of miscellaneous humanoids all turned their attention to him, their conversations dying out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This is all very straightforward," the man continued, now that he mostly had silence, "All the new salvage we've obtained has been moved to rooms 29A through 29H. We have seven groups of 2 and one group of 3." The human looked over at some of the larger beings, "The group of 3 is going to be; Sals, Korvick, and Arden. You'll be handling most of the heavier stuff."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arden grunted and flexed his first set of large furry forelimbs, garnering a round of laughter from some of their companions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The foreman rolled his eyes, "Or’saca and Jensen, you will </span>
  <b>not </b>
  <span>be partnering on this. I am not having a repeat of last time."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He started it," grumbled a Twe'lek woman a row or so away from them. She bared her sharp k9s and hissed like a viper at a human male a couple of feet down when he flashed her a rude gesture.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Lastly, Jedi Rey has generously offered us her assistance. She will be chaperoning Mr. Or- Mr. … Solo." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite what was undoubtedly his best efforts, Rey still saw when Ben visibly flinched, his gaze snapping to the floor as countless pairs of eyes zeroed in on him. Some in surprise, some already knowing and carrying an edge of aggression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The foreman cleared his throat in an attempt to restore normalcy to the awkward moment he'd created and Rey sent a silent thanks that she hadn't had to stand in the way of a potential fight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Everyone else you may pair as you like- don't make me regret that." the foreman barked with the promise of swift punishment, "You all know the rules and safety regulations so there are no excuses for not following them. You may also take breaks at your leisure. Do </span>
  <b>not </b>
  <span>abuse this privilege." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey could sense at least 3 people who fully intended to do just that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Come to me to get your room numbers and ask any questions. Dismissed!"</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          A short time later Rey and Ben were getting situated in room 29F. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The storage room was much the same as any of the others, high ceilings, exposed supports, cool gray metal walls, and floor, bright white artificial lighting. At one point it had probably looked positively sterile. The wide space was filled to the brim with stacks of large crates and other containers. Someone had attempted to arrange everything in a somewhat organized and accessible manner, but it was fruitless in the end. At least there was a fairly decent clear space in the middle so they could work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey couldn't help the sudden surge of excitement that propelled her forward and had her pulling the lid off of the closest crate, like a child receiving a gift. Automatically her brain was calculating the value of the contents; lots of scrap metal- low value alone but in large amounts potentially worth the haul- the actuators were a bit more valuable, someone always needed them- oh! Those power converters were </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> high quality! Even if they were damaged the value of the platinum inside alone was-!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You really were as bored as I am if you're this eager to sort garbage." Ben teased gently from somewhere behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey flushed in embarrassment, quickly closing the lid, "It's not trash, it's </span>
  <em>
    <span>salvage. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And, yes I have been very bored but it's not that, not exactly…" how best to put this, "Part of me missed this… Not all the things that came with it, obviously, but the taking things apart, organizing and sorting them, seeing what they could be used for instead of just being thrown away. It was relaxing." She paused, a moment's hesitation before deciding to quietly confess, "Sometimes, I felt like I was the salvage. That perhaps, if I tried hard enough, I could find a use for myself."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt Ben's emotions fluctuate wildly, like a pond disturbed by a large stone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>"I'm sorry." His voice was closer to her now, and after a moment of palpable hesitance, he rested his hand against her shoulder, accepting her offer for openness. It pained her to know that he felt he might not be allowed to do so, "Ky-</span> <em><span>I </span></em><span>used that against you… before. Made you feel like you'd been thrown away. I never should have. It was cruel, selfish."</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey turned to face him, catching his hand before he could withdraw it, "I know." She told him, "It doesn't excuse it, but believe it or not I understand why you said what you did. That feeling is- it makes you feel so ugly. Everything keeps spiraling out of control, you know you're going to crash, and you'd do almost anything to make it stop. More than anything, you're so scared of being alone." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She'd felt that way when they'd fought on the burnt-out corpse of the Death Star… An intense, maddening, panic. Pleading for it to just end...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It did hurt," she continued, "a lot, to hear someone say it out loud when I'd been thinking it myself for years, and," a pause as she once more considered her words, "I can't call it </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>, what happened, but I do think there was an important lesson I had to learn, even if I didn't want to."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben didn't respond, but his presence in the Force spoke volumes. Confusion, that she would find something positive in something so cruelly done. Guilt, for having done it at all. A twisting of hope and relief, that she had not simply forgiven him for this wrong but had not condemned him either. This last idea seemed to put him at ease for the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence carried on just shy of too long and Rey scrambled to keep it from becoming awkward, "So," she blurted, "How do you want to do this? What secrets did you learn when you were a Padawan?" Oh, that was… that was terrible...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben almost choked on a sudden laugh, and she felt a little better about her painfully bad transition, "About </span>
  <em>
    <span>cleaning</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I don't think it's any kind of special secret." He frowned, "...I suppose I found it easiest when I could see everything? Usually, I just dumped everything into one large pile and sorted it by whatever categories I needed to and went on from there?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey nodded, like this was some sort of sage insight, "That sounds about right! Do you want to start with three piles? Intact things, things that are broken but could be repaired, and things that are badly damaged?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben hummed in agreement, already sizing up the closest crate, "Fine with me, we can divide those into other categories after that, if it makes sense to." He looked at her briefly, "Rey?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are we… weird?"</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          "This feels surreal," Ben ventured a couple of hours later, breaking the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey hummed in curiosity and took the opportunity to stand up from her seat on the floor, raising her arms to the ceiling and indulging in a full-body stretch. Oh, that was so very satisfying after having been still for so long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The fact that we're actually here right now," Ben continued, while she paced around in small circles to stretch her legs, "I'm sitting on the floor of a resistance storeroom. With you. Sorting junk." He paused, turning a piece of said junk around aimlessly in his hands, quietly admitting, "It feels strange to be almost okay with that…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey returned a gentle smile, "I suppose it doesn't feel entirely real, does it?" She surveyed her and Ben's work with a surprising feeling of satisfaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They'd made excellent progress so far; having gotten through 6 of the largest containers. The largest pile was the "beyond repair" one, with the "broken but fixable" as the second. There wasn't too much that was in workable condition, but the pile was already larger than she'd expected it to be. Until just now, neither had said very much of anything, working in a companionable, comfortable, silence. The few words they had exchanged had mostly been brief conversations in regards to what could be done with certain items or if it was actually possible to fix them or not. Thinking about it, some of their "conversations" hadn't even been in words really. That was an aspect of their connection she was beginning to appreciate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As for the salvage itself, she'd already known that Ben had some knowledge of mechanics as she did, but where her's was more geared towards parts for ships and vehicles- particularly how to rewire them- his skills seemed to favor more delicate and fine-tuned items, making it so there was very little here that between the two of them they couldn't identify and sort. She suspected Ben’s knowledge here was something else due in no small part to his father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After all, being able to simply go in and out of a place without being noticed was an essential skill for a smuggler with a heart of gold, was it not?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Case in point, she heard Ben hum quietly to himself, turning a datapad around in his hands. Aside from some carbon scoring on one side and a crack snaking its way across the screen, it looked almost completely intact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's an officer's," Ben commented when Rey leaned over him for a better look, "not bad off, might just be out of power..." with practiced ease he pried open the back covering with his nails and frowned at the chalky, crystalized residue surrounding the pea-sized power cell, "Oh, that's more than dead. Probably got decompressed, chemicals leaked out and now it's all corroded."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Can we save it?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I think so. Doesn't look like it ate through anything. If we clean it out and put in a new cell I think it will turn back on. Like I said I think this was an officer's so there could be a lot of valuable information on it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey grinned, "That's great! Maybe we'll be lucky and it will be facility blueprints or maybe the location of supply caches!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben nodded, "We should let Tico know. If it's password-protected, tell me, I could probably remember what code it was using, if not I can probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>persuade</span>
  </em>
  <span> it to let us in."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey's smile faltered, "But, don't we already have the codes? I mean, you talked to Poe, didn't you?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Dameron did not interrogate me, no."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>debrief</span>
  </em>
  <span>?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben shrugged, "It is what it is Rey."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But, I thought he would have wanted to talk to you by now. Even just to see how you were doing."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <b>Rey</b>
  <span>, I didn't talk to him at all, not a single time since I woke up here. No one else either. Just you, Tico, Finn, one scared security guard, and a medical drone. Dameron doesn't need to say anything, I know where I stand." His voice sounded flat, unbothered like he was reciting the week's weather, but there was still tension there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey wilted a little, "That's not fair… he should have talked to you. I was already mad enough at him that he didn't tell you about the service for Master Leia."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's okay-" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, it's not!" The young Jedi protested, "They act like you're a prisoner-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You aren't </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be! How can you do anything to help? Or move forward at all? Even if you want to look at it in an entirely self-serving way, it's idiotic to just disregard a powerful asset!" She bit her lip, trying to keep her voice down, this wasn't the time or place to get angry, "...What's most important though is she was your </span>
  <em>
    <span>mother</span>
  </em>
  <span>. No matter what, you should have had a chance to say goodbye."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Rey," Ben reached up, gently taking her hand in his own and squeezed it before letting go, "It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay. When-," he faltered, "when my mother died, I felt her join the Force, there's nothing to say goodbye </span>
  <em>
    <span>to</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," Rey admitted, she'd felt it too. Sometimes, it felt as though the general was nearby, still watching over them. "but it was a celebration of her life, her work, her strength, who she was. You should have gotten to be part of that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It makes me happy to know you think that. I'm not sure I agree but that doesn't matter." Ben's smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, "I don't particularly favor large crowds and I'm sure I'd have to give some kind of speech. It would have been terrible. She would have manifested right in the middle of it all to tell me so."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a laugh, "If you say so. I still stand by what I said. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks, you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>a prisoner, and keeping you from doing anything to help is foolish and doesn't benefit anyone. I'm going to keep insisting you get out of that terrible closet of a room and do actual- </span>
  <em>
    <span>things</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Even if I have to rope Chewbacca into doing a jailbreak."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not sure he-" Ben began, but Rey cut him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He does." She put her foot down, "Whatever you were going to say- </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He's just as stubborn as you are but he can't hide from me how much he misses you. I know you both still need space to process, and that's completely fine, but I'm not going to let you tell yourself he hates you or never wants to see you again. Got that?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She took some satisfaction watching Ben flounder for words and the embarrassed flush to his cheeks when he finally managed, "Yes, I 'got that'." and turned away from her to get back to rummaging through the pile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Good!" She didn't even mind his obvious move to escape the conversation, let him have that, she'd won the rest of the debate as far as she was concerned, "Now I don't know about you but I could certainly go for some lunch." She jerked her head towards the door, "Come on, we can stretch our legs and find something to eat."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tempting," Ben admitted, "I wouldn't say no to food but," he fussed with a strip of scrap metal, "I'm sorry, I don't feel up to seeing other people right now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's fine, I'll get you something then."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "You don't have to do that, I can eat later…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>The brunette rolled her eyes, Skywalker Drama™, it had</span> <span>to be genetic, "It's </span><em><span>fine</span></em><span>. You're not up to it and I'm going there anyway. It's hardly an inconvenience."</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I just don't want you to feel that you have to. People might think-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"People can </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> whatever they want," Rey snapped, "If it makes you feel better we'll say I'm paying you back for getting me breakfast last week. Is that better?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite being thirty years old, Ben still managed to pout like an embarrassed teen, "I suppose…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Jedi snorted and gave him a friendly punch to the shoulder on her way out.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          It wasn't long before Rey returned. In her arms, she carried two hearty sandwiches, two small packets of fried vegetable something or others, and two large canisters of water that she'd procured from the mess hall. A smile came to her lips when she stepped through the storage room door. Inside, Ben was still sorting through things, which was in no way a surprise, she'd had a feeling he wouldn't listen to her advice to take a break. No, what made her smile was the myriad of small items floating lazily in the air around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While he hadn't exactly rejected the Force since waking up, Ben didn’t seem terribly eager to do anything more than basic exercises or communicate with her through their connection. The latter she suspected was primarily so he could avoid talking to anyone else… So for him to be doing this now? For no real reason other than he could? It eased her worries somewhat. Like with most other things, he probably needed time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was strange for her to find watching something so simple so fascinating, after all, she could easily do this and more, but the Force had always been something close to magic for her. As long as she could remember she'd adored stories about the Jedi, the tales about the courageous rebels and the legendary hero Luke Skywalker. Being able to use the Force herself had been like having a dear childhood wish granted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he'd been Kylo Ren, she'd only ever seen Ben use the Force in a violent and overwhelming manner, the sheer strength of it had been equal parts awe-inspiring and terrifying to face, like an ocean squall, threatening to swallow up everything around it. Now, he wielded it with the same deliberate accuracy but far more gently. Far more naturally. It felt like he was getting reacquainted with using it as an extension of himself and not an active enemy.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>She made her way back over, watching him pick up a tiny bolt and, after a moment of inspection, toss it to the side where it slowed and floated off to join a swarm of identical ones orbiting one another. He glanced over his shoulder at her and Rey grinned, playfully tossing a container of water toward him. It slowed as she expected and bobbed along in a similar path with the other objects like a group of satellites lazily revolving around a star. She knelt just far enough away not to impede any of his little collection. She reached into the pile and chose first one small item and then another, tossing them towards him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben "caught" each one rather than let it fall and eventually asked, "What are you doing?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey shrugged, "Seeing how much you can hold."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know, because it's fun?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben snorted, levitating the next item she tossed with ease, "Rey," he chided, "You know the Jedi don't believe in fun."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Funny, then what would you call what you're doing? Entertaining yourself while working, sounds a lot like having fun to me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright, if that's how you want to be," Ben gave her a smug look, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>am not a Jedi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes, you are!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, I'm not. Technically my training was never completed, and my Master never promoted me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey narrowed her eyes, "Then by that logic, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you're</span>
  </em>
  <span> still a Padawan, and since </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>am a Jedi knight that means you have to defer to me and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>say that Jedi are allowed to have fun!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben turned his nose up petulantly, looking away to hide the smile that she'd already seen, "You're not my Master."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey chucked a sandwich at his head.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          "So," the former scavenger asked sometime later, having just polished off the last of her meal, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> there any games you and the other students played? Or were you actually being serious about the "no fun"?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes and no," Ben hesitantly replied, "It's not that I was specifically banned from playing games or anything like that. Lu- My Master was very serious when it came to things like the history and traditions of the Jedi. So much of it was lost and he spent a lot of time trying to find relics and artifacts so the order could be rebuilt and almost every time he began a search he took me with him." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Here he paused and Rey waited patiently for him to continue, the topic was more than a little tender, best not to prod too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Over time I like to think I was just as serious, but at the start? I was only… I'd just turned ten years old, I think? It was difficult being told not to play around with the Force." A faint nostalgia filled his faraway gaze, "There were other children later and of course they liked to play. If any of the games we played involved the Force in any way though we were encouraged to treat them as lessons. We rarely did."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You didn't really get in trouble for that did you?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's a yes and no answer too," Ben shrugged at the admission, "we were never outright punished for anything, don't misunderstand. Most of the time it was just being told that the Force was not a toy and that we should be more mindful and serious about our training."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey nodded, "I see, that does sound terribly dull. I don't know, I feel like there would be little harm in creating games with the Force solely for fun. Some might need supervision but there are games like that already." She frowned, "Children need to be able to play, I think."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben chuckled, "Why does it feel like you would have caused an awful lot of trouble at the temple?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a terribly troublesome child."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So was I."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Then we could have made trouble together!" Rey challenged with a wry smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Maybe. Don't forget that we both may be adults now but I am almost a decade older than you. It would have been more babysitting than playing back then."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young woman huffed, "I refuse to accept that. If I could find fun things to do on Jakku of all places then I absolutely could have convinced you to play with me, no matter how much older you were."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben stared at her like she'd grown at least one additional head, "Not to be rude but, what fun could you possibly have had on Jakku that wasn't an immediate hazard to your health?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey puffed up, "Plenty of things! There were other kids to play with sometimes. Mostly from off-world, traveling with trading convoys and the like. When I was by myself and didn't have any work to do, I drew pictures, I had some dolls I made- I would play pretend sometimes on the wrecks too!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben began to say something, but stopped, a complex blend of emotions bleeding off of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's alright," Rey assured him with a playful laugh, "it was far from ideal, I'm not pretending it wasn't, but there were some kind people," She pondered, "Actually, one of the things I did enjoy was related to what we're doing right now," The former scavenger gestured to the mountainous pile, "Sometimes someone would come back with something too large for them to take apart on their own, or we'd all have a large enough haul that we'd need to sort through. When that happened it would turn into a gathering of sorts. We'd talk and the older folks would trade stories. Oh! Sometimes we'd sing!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Like what?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What would we sing?" Rey cleared her throat, fretting awkwardly, "probably nothing you'd enjoy. I talked with Rose before, about my favorites from when I was a child, she almost laughed herself out of her chair, called them “drinking songs”."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she expected, Ben snorted in amusement, then, "Who said I wouldn't enjoy them?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, she hadn't expected that…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But, I didn't think you'd have gone to places like that. Not until you were older and even then." Rey admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not when I was older, no, between training and... everything else, there wasn't any time. Mostly it was when I was still a child."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But your mother- Leia was a senator wasn't she? All high society and so on."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben smirked, resting his chin on his hand, "Oh you would be surprised." He lowered his voice conspiratorially, "I learned my first curse words from my mother. The songs I learned from my father and his "friends"."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <b>No</b>
  <span>," Rey could feel a grin forming on her face, "She never would have let him, surely!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"She didn't like it," Ben shrugged, "But her job was critical and kept her far too busy to spare time keeping me out of trouble," there was a touch of regret and disappointed acceptance in his words, "I spent most of my time with my father anyway. It was that or leave me with a nanny droid, and Whills know I got very good at escaping from them fairly early on and it wasn’t wise to leave me alone."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey laughed, trying to picture a tiny little Ben, all pudgy baby limbs and wild hair, sneaking past fussy droids to find his parents. She hoped it was as adorable as she imagined. "I still don't know that I entirely believe you. A bar or anywhere else Han might go for fun is absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>any place for a child."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Pot to the kettle. I can prove it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Name a song. I bet you I know it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hmm… 1,000 bottles!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben rolled his eyes, "Every person alive and dead knows that one." He raised an eyebrow, "It's also banned on the Falcon."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey stared at him until he explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I sang it for </span>
  <b>hours</b>
  <span> when I was first learning my numbers. I'd start again each time I got one wrong. Also, I thought you were supposed to start at 10,000."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey burst out laughing, "Oh heavens </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young man grinned, "Because Lando Calrissian is an ass."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Poor Chewy!" Rey giggled, "Alright then, how about The Silver Band?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Woman goes on a journey to the outer rim, she meets another woman who wears a silver band around her neck and falls desperately in love with her. She is then betrayed when the silver band steals something and pins it on her." Ben sighed with false drama, "Tragic."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ni Na La?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Basic and original."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's Not Yet Day?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That one is </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost</span>
  </em>
  <span> banned on the Falcon."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey scowled, "Last of the Black Ale?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben smirked in a way that was quickly making her want to forcibly pull it off his face, "I think you mean last of the Ne'tra gal? I know that one too; in basic, Huties, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shyriiwook</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <b>and</b>
  <span> traditional Mando’a." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Liar!" Rey accused, "You do </span>
  <b>not </b>
  <span>speak Mandalorian!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben looked surprised but quickly recovered, "No I don't but I </span>
  <b>do</b>
  <span> know the song in it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Who did you learn that from?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Another Padawan. His adopted father was a Mandalorian."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's amazing!" Rey gushed, disbelief replaced with excitement, "Teach me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben balked, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Right now?</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why not? The doors are closed, it's just the two of us so you don't have to be embarrassed. Remember what I said earlier? About Jakku? You can teach it to me while we work." The young Jedi, leveled a challenging look at her companion, "Surely, that's not too difficult for you?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To her delight a spark of competitiveness lit in Ben, "We'll see about that." His eyes narrowed, "remember, you asked for it."</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the slightly threatening declaration, it wasn't actually that bad. Ben was actually rather patient when it came to instruction. He spoke each line of the song, waited for Rey to repeat each word back, corrected the pronunciation, and repeated the line. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He would make a good teacher someday. He would surely push his Padawan, but Rey had no doubt he would be just as fiercely supportive. Perhaps Ben wouldn't agree with her now, but she was confident that whenever that nebulous time arrived he would be willing to give it a chance. Lately, that wasn't something she wanted to think about too much. Reviving the Jedi… But she was enjoying herself so much that the thought came and went with little concern.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lesson went on and they'd gone through a whole box of scrap by the time Ben felt Rey had the words right, down to the smallest inflection. It took a bit of teasing on her part but eventually, she convinced him that now that she knew the words she should try singing them and that the best way would be with accompaniment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unless, of course, he no longer knew </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben was just too easy to tease, or, perhaps, he was letting her goad him? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whatever the reason, Rey was entirely enjoying the distraction far too much and it was only a short time before she was able to harass him into actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>singing</span>
  </em>
  <span> the song with her. To her delight, it turned out that her companion possessed a pleasant singing voice- if a little rusty from disuse. It was a lovely surprise. Perhaps in another life, Ben could have been a performer of some kind? The idea brought her more amusement than it probably should have. To that end she egged him on, launching into one of her favorites, a teasing somewhat playful ditty, which, now that she thought of it, probably hadn't been suitable for how young she'd been when she'd learned it. However, it did gift her now with the knowledge that when particularly embarrassed, Ben could blush all the way to his ears. She filed that away for another time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'm retaliation Ben launched them into a rendition of a just as inappropriate song and thus the whole thing devolved into an unspoken challenge as to who knew a song so bad that the other wouldn't sing it. In the back of her mind, Rey was thankful that it was only the two of them, she probably wouldn't ever live it down if anyone she knew heard her and the former terror of the First Order belting out the sort of things you'd hear from a washed-out smuggler, lamenting in a bar at the farthest reaches of the outer rim. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, it all ended in a draw and the songs chosen were more playfully pleasant. Rey was treated to a rather beautiful rendition of Red is the Rose and returned the gift with an upbeat rendition of Its Not Yet Day, which Ben eagerly joined in on.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was nice, to have the pressing weight of the future lifted from her shoulders, even if for just this moment.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey was trying to get her most recent fit of giggles under control, unable to remember the last time she'd laughed so hard she'd ended up red in the face, with tears in her eyes, "You've got me wondering now," she finally gasped out, peering up at Ben's equally flushed face, "do the Jedi have songs?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This caused Ben's quiet laughter to stumble and for a moment he went silent, face expressionless and eyes distant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey inwardly cringed. Wonderful, she'd gone and jammed her foot in it hadn't she?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>These sorts of things were irrational, she'd been told that by the medic. Severe wounds, both of the body and the mind, could leave behind echoes of the trauma that caused them, and things related to them, however small and obscured could sometimes set them off. To be fine one moment and not the next, while not understanding the reason, like a faulty sensor in an alarm. She'd been trying her hardest to keep from doing that, to not push too hard but not act like Ben was some fragile thing that would fall apart at the slightest mention of the Jedi. But now she might have failed spectacularly. They'd been having such fun...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Umm," Ben hummed, just as she was about to blurt out an apology, "I don't know actually" his brow furrowed in thought, "I- we didn't sing any at the... temple and the closest I've ever read about were poems, but those were ancient."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both joked earlier about Jedi not believing in fun but did they truly not even </span>
  <em>
    <span>sing</span>
  </em>
  <span>? No, they certainly must have </span>
  <em>
    <span>sung</span>
  </em>
  <span> songs, so many texts referred to the Force metaphorically as a song, but had they actually composed none of their own? There was something deeply saddening about that idea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's a shame," Rey admitted, "I thought they might have. Seemed like a way to, I don't know, celebrate the Force?" Something like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She caught herself staring when Ben bit his lip in contemplation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well…" he began, "I assume you don't mean songs that just mention or make reference to the Force? But more, are there any songs created </span>
  <em>
    <span>by</span>
  </em>
  <span> Force users specifically </span>
  <em>
    <span>about </span>
  </em>
  <span>the Force itself?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey nodded eagerly, "Yes, that's it exactly!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her companion hummed, "As I said, we didn't do anything like that at the temple. I never saw anything referencing that either. But, there's a great deal of knowledge about the Jedi that's still lost to us, and music probably wasn't a top priority when it came to preservation, so there could easily be several. I can't imagine that there was never a single Jedi who played an instrument or sang a song in relation to their path through the Force. I just never saw or heard one."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Rey slumped a little, "That's too bad, I was hoping to hear one."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," Ben looked thoughtful, "but there's not just the Jedi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well yes, but that only leaves the dark side." and under no circumstances was she singing </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> that came from that, thank you very much!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben shook his head, "No, it doesn't!" He turned to face her better, "It may seem that way, the Jedi and the Sith are probably the largest groups on the whole but there are a great many others." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey watched in surprised fascination as Ben grew more and more animated the longer he spoke. His previous discomfort was entirely forgotten.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What's interesting is, most of them prefer to stay confined to only a single planet or at most a small system, both followers of the light and the dark. The Jedi and the Sith were two of the largest groups and certainly the most active as far as deliberately affecting the galaxy goes, and each of them had numerous smaller sub-sects. But it’s never been just them. There are so many other groups! There are even cases where an entire species is Force-sensitive and they just have it with them as part of their daily lives! No light or dark, all just somewhere in the middle-!" Ben coughed awkwardly, his face flushing in embarrassment as he reigned himself back in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was too bad, Rey thought, he was rather adorable when he was that excited about something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Those last ones are uh," he continued awkwardly, "the ones that have a lot of songs."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Does that mean you've heard some?" She pressed eagerly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Ben confirmed, "But, umm…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you know one?" Rey pressed, "Could I hear it, Ben? Please?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn't miss the mild flush in his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Give me a moment, see if I remember any..." He went quiet and after a few moments he slowly started tapping a rhythm against his thigh, "I think maybe I have one? I heard it over... it must have been nearly two decades ago? Probably. It's amazing that I even remember it..." The red in his cheeks was stronger and it was a near repeat of the start of their impromptu round of drinking songs, "Fair warning, this isn't in standard, I don't know what language it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>in... I don't think I can translate it either."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey shrugged, "That's alright. We can always try to figure it out later." She leaned in with excitement, "I just want to hear it!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, hopefully, I won't mangle it too badly…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben looked away shyly and Rey tried not to feel disappointed that his bout of excitement really was over for now. She chided herself, she'd just been thinking how Ben needed time to adjust, as anyone else would. He had been closed off so long for what he felt was a good reason. He'd only recently been thrown from the safety of the prison he'd built around himself, as well. That he was making the effort now, however slow, was something she would just have to live with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To her relief, however, after a short silence, she heard Ben start to hum softly altering the tapping of his fingers to match the beat. He murmured something repeatedly under his breath. She sensed he was trying to remember the exact words. Abruptly it was like something clicked and he began to sing again in that oddly rough yet gentle cadence. He was right, the words weren't in basic and not any other of the many languages she knew at least part of. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...as he continued she found she </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> understand it! The language hadn't changed but it was starting to make sense in her head. The song he was singing seemed to be structured as a call and response. Was it meant to be sung by two people? No. Not just two people. There were two distinct parts but the song as a whole was meant to be sung by many people. The subject was… some kind of festival maybe? One side was calling to the other, saying fires were lit, the other side was calling back an invitation to Whill folk and... Shadow's kin? Rey found herself leaning in closer, from the corner of her eye she thought she’d seen- movement? Shadows? Yes, but no, not just shadows, light too. A phantom breeze ghosted across her skin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without even thinking Rey reached over and put her hand on top of Ben's. He faltered in his song for the briefest of moments, expression shifting to surprise then understanding. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While still occasionally jarring, Rey had become used to sensing people's emotions over the past year. Ben was different. Just as the first time they'd touched, whenever she made physical contact with him it was like a spark, a jolt, like broken parts being reconnected. She felt him so much clearer when they were in physical contact and his mind was far more open and welcoming than any other she'd sensed. If asked she would compare Ben to water, a thing that before she'd only known as a scarce and precious resource. After leaving Jakku, she'd seen so much of it in so many forms, and that was how he felt to her. The first time their minds had touched he'd reminded her of the waves of Ach-To's ocean during the first storm she'd ever experienced. Loud and raging, surging higher than she'd ever thought a wave could go- like the sea might swallow the whole island- rising to their peeks and dashing themselves violently on the rocks and cliffs. It was equal parts frightening and breathtaking.  Deeper still it had been like a mournful frigid rain, drawing away all the warmth you might ever feel. A reflection of her own deep sorrows. Now, with his identity reclaimed, he reminded her of the smooth lake she'd seen on Maz's planet. Still and calm on the surface, with rapid active currents hidden beneath the unassuming facade.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben turned his hand over to loosely entwine with hers and the shapes of shadow and light became clearer. Things suddenly felt so obvious, like she'd always known everything about this special song. It was meant to be sung in the evening, twilight, the border of light and dark, on a day where the growing season and harvest season would soon bow to the cold season. It was a celebration of all things. Of gains and losses, good and bad; life, into death, into life, and so on. A reminder of the joy of being able to experience the universe in the time that they had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lyrics flowed easily to her mind and Rey found herself chiming in, taking up the role of calling out to Ben's answering replies. His sudden shy smile only egged her on, and before she knew it, she was pulling him to his feet. To her surprise, Ben laughed a short, sharp, joyful thing, and followed her into their impromptu dance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The figures of light and shadow around them gained more focus. They were humanoid, about the same breadth but nearly twice as tall and with digitigrade legs. That was all Rey could be certain of as far as their forms went. She thought perhaps they wore paint? There were also suggestions of hides, bones, feathers, and plants. They might also be wearing masks? The figures were as detailed as they were vague to the point where she didn't know if they were in costume or if this was just how they looked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now that felt hardly relevant. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their singing was quickly reaching the volume of their previous clamor as they followed the energetic pace of a dance that they'd both never done but still knew the steps to. Circles, a great circle than smaller circles, around one another but never letting go of their clasped hands. She pulled away and he followed. He made a quick spin and she let herself be lifted off her feet by the momentum, laughing with delight. Back and forth, together and apart, always moving never still. The Force seemed to sing around them as they kicked up dazzling red leaves with their towering companions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was so much joy in this. She could feel it thrumming through her connection to Ben. This was the sort of thing she'd been hoping for, what she'd been eager to experience since discovering that the Force </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>real. An opportunity to just feel it, to be with it without the reason being for combat. Not to view it clinically but organically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And she could. All around them. Connecting her to everything and everyone, all that had been or would be. Her tie to Ben was the strongest, she as much him as he was her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Did he feel it too? He must. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wanted so badly to know more about him, about this. What did it mean to be a Dyad? what would their lives be now? The future loomed with so many unanswered questions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There would be time. He wasn't ready to share certain things yet and she had to accept that. There were things she wasn't ready to talk about yet either. Eventually, they would. It would be alright.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the song reached its final refrain their voices were joined by countless others to call out one last time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then there was silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of them stood there and slowly Rey registered the state they were in. Ben stood across from her, their hands still clasped between them. She noted his heavy, shallow, breathing, the red flush to his face, the faint sheen of sweat on his skin; knowing full well she must look similar. Her heart thundered in her chest, and her body felt drained from the exertion, but she felt wonderful, actually. She grinned stupidity at her partner and was delighted when it was reflected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stared at each other a moment as they caught their breaths. Ben's eyes flicked down to his feet briefly and his gaze again became distant for a second or two before he looked back up at her. The air of smallness about him came back and he licked his lips and inhaled softly in preparation to speak.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Umm?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey jumped a little, head snapping towards the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the wide doorway stood Finn, staring at them like he'd witnessed something insane. "What-" he gestured frantically, "what were you </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> in here?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?!" Rey blurted stupidly. Why did he look so alarmed? They'd only been- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She froze as something flitted past out of the corner of her eye. She whipped her head around and stared at the brilliantly red leaf that drifted past her to the floor. Her gaze jerked up and she saw three or four more making their slow tumbling descent from the high ceiling, their origin unknown. Nervously she turned her gaze down at the floor. Around her and Ben, for about two feet, the metal was clean and clear, past that, in a wide almost perfect circle was a pile of the same beautifully crimson leaves nearly a foot high.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was…okay, yeah, that probably looked...very weird. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>very weird.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While she was still in the process of accepting the fact that the two of them had- done whatever this was… She felt Ben stiffen beside her and before she could tell him otherwise he'd let go of her hand and taken a large step back, putting a healthy distance between them. She caught a stray whisper of feeling, embarrassment, and... guilt? Why? He hadn't done anything wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Finn what are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey's attention was brought back to her friend when he jumped in alarm and Rose popped into view from behind him. She looked rather miffed at first but then the mechanic's dark eyebrows shot up in surprise at the scene before her. It was followed quickly by a sly, knowing, smile that made Rey feel unreasonably exposed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her other friend playfully smacked Finn's arm, "Don't spy on people it's rude!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't!" Finn sputtered, "You said we were checking in on them!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose rolled her eyes, "You practically ran the whole way here, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> walked, like a normal person. I also told you not to just barge in and to wait until they were done."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Done?" Rey cut in, if Rose meant with the sorting that didn't make any sense. She'd said herself that it would likely take most of the day, they were nowhere </span>
  <em>
    <span>near </span>
  </em>
  <span>being done.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That sly look was back again and Rey decided she was not a fan of whatever mischief it represented.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>"Oh, nothing really," Rose sing-songed, "I knew you'd both enjoy having something to do, I just didn't know you'd have </span><em><span>this much</span></em> <em><span>fun</span></em><span>!"</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey laughed uneasily, feeling terribly unsettled suddenly, like she'd been caught doing something she was not supposed to be doing, "Ah, well," she gestured to the foliage sheepishly, "This was not on purpose. We will clean it up though! Don't worry!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh, that's not what I meant, but I'm glad to hear that you'll be taking care of it!" Rose chirped. She glanced at the pile, "I wonder who decided to crate these…? They're very pretty but why bring them here?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finn frowned, "I still don't understand how I'm bothering them…" he grumbled, "They're just putting things away."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose huffed, "You just don't get it. People like having privacy. Sometimes two people would prefer to have a bit of warning before they're </span>
  <em>
    <span>interrupted</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tico!" Ben squawked embarrassment tight in his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh, you meant the singing?" Finn asked, tilting his head slightly in confusion, "I guess that was a bit unexpected. Do people do that? ...Do they not do that? I mean, I don’t do that..." His brow furrowed, "Wait, were we not supposed to hear them?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A cold dread wormed its way up Rey's spine and she turned when she realized it was coming from Ben. He starred in silent mortification at Finn and Rose, his face unnaturally pale.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You heard us?" Rey ventured nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Finn nodded, ignorant of the mounting horror building in the room's original occupants, "you had a bit of an audience when we got here, Rose made them leave, and- Oww!!" He yelped when the other woman swatted him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I told you not to say anything!" the mechanic hissed, "you're </span>
  <em>
    <span>embarrassing </span>
  </em>
  <span>them!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey didn't know just how red her face was, but she could feel it burning. She'd never cared before if anyone had heard her, after all, plenty of people had on Jakku, so why did she feel so self-conscious? And her singing voice was fine! Probably…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not for the first time since leaving that awful, sandy planet, she felt like perhaps she was the strange one…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Behind her, Ben was covering his face with his hands, the skin that peaked through his fingers was absolutely scarlet, and he was making a continuous, low, despairing, groan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It can't be that bad, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she tried to assure him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>just a bit embarrassing…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just a bit…? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben's reply carried with it a desperate plea to just vanish into the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, who was she kidding? </span>
  <em>
    <span>…We can never show our faces in public again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I suppose we have to go and live in exile on Ach-To now?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben made a confused sound that might have been a laugh if you squinted hard enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose, ever observant in a way that was almost Jedi-like took mercy on them, “Come on Finn,” she laughed, “Let’s go find these two some brooms, they’ll be needing them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finn blinked at her, looking from Ben to Rey then back at Rose, “I never know what’s happening…” He grumbled under his breath, turning to follow the mechanic out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey sighed, looking back at the ring of leaves. What were these? Rather, where had they come from? She knelt, picking one up from the floor and rotating it slowly between her fingers. It seemed like a regular leaf you’d find on any plant, she didn’t sense anything out of the ordinary at all…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did the song do this?” she asked quietly when Ben finally pulled himself back together and came to join her, “Was this supposed to happen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know…” Her companion admitted, “It doesn’t feel like anything is wrong here, though. If anything the Force feels, clearer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey nodded, “It does…” She eyed the leaves, “I think I’ll save some of these. Maybe I can find out where they’re from? Maybe that will give us some insight as to what it is we did? If nothing else maybe we could ask the locals?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben hesitated before replying, “It would give us something to go on at least. It wasn’t malicious, whatever it was, but it would be nice to know what we even did...” a touch of red returned to his cheeks, “Until then, we probably shouldn’t sing that again. Or maybe anything, for a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>!</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          Rey woke so abruptly that it didn't register that she was even awake at first. Before her eyes had been open for more than a moment she was already on her feet and out the door of her modest quarters, rushing frantically down the hall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her dream still plagued her mind's eye. Smoke. Fire. People were crying, calling for help, so few compared to how many she knew should there. None of them would survive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A voice, so much younger but still so familiar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't want this!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pushed the hellish visions away the best she could when she nearly tripped over a startled cleaning droid, too frazzled to even toss the poor thing an apology. The lateness of the hour was probably the only reason she hadn't slammed into another person, looking like a mad, wild, thing, barefoot, and clad only in her nightclothes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Skidding to a stop on the cold metal floor, she flung the door in front of her open with the Force-, not even thinking of the keypad- leaving it crumpled and sparkling pathetically, likely useless now. The distance between her and the figure suffering in the small bunk in the corner was cleared in less than a second. It was only when Ben thrashed awake, raising an arm to block some phantom assailant did Rey realize what she was doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A nightmare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He'd</span>
  </em>
  <span> been the one having a nightmare, it had woken her and she'd run the whole way here in a panic without even thinking twice about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was something to meditate on later...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Now that he was awake, Rey could feel the remains of the dream dissolving away in the back of her mind. The emotional turmoil left behind was still crisp and burning. Fear, potent and sharp, razor edge coated in anger, and a storm of guilt and grief so strong it made her stomach roll. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wordlessly Rey sat beside him, bypassing Ben's guarded posture and gently wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He tensed in her embrace at first, but soon she felt him hesitantly return it, slowly his grip became more sure, and then he was clutching her tightly like she was the only thing anchoring him to the here and now. She returned the hold just as fiercely with his wordless permission. It was a flaw at times, her intense want to fix a problem when she saw it, how it ate at her to see suffering and be unable to do anything about it. It was especially hard when it butted up against the hard-learned lesson that people could not be forced to accept the help she so wanted to give. With those she cared for, the want was even worse. Her training had helped temper it to something useful, but even still it could hurt just as much as it gave her the drive to push on through the impossible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rested her head reassuringly against his, her hand settling against the back of his neck while she whispered likely meaningless platitudes against his sweat-damp hair. She kept at it until the worst of his shaking had subsided, only then did she venture to quietly ask, "Show me?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben's hands clenched tightly in the fabric of her sleep shirt and he shook his head against her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps that should have been the time to back off, but the surge of emotion that radiated out from him at her request sent hot tears spilling down her cheeks with a suddenness that shook her. No doubt a reflection of his own silent weeping. It was more than enough to make her ask again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Please?" She pressed, she didn't need to ask what the dream had been about, even if she hadn't seen, she'd have known, "I want to understand. You don't have to do this alone."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Ben released his hold and pulled away from her, rubbing the tears from his eyes and cheeks with the back of his hand. Rey was relieved when his hands quickly returned to rest on her forearms. He avoided her gaze and she didn't need the Force to tell he was mulling over her difficult request.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben visibly swallowed, "This-" he struggled for words, "I feel so useless. I hate that I want to say yes. You shouldn't be burdened by my mistakes." His attempt at a smile didn't reach his eyes, "They're only dreams, I just have to get over them."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His admission made Rey's heart hurt. She understood feeling lonely, afraid, abandoned, and angry. But her grief was different, and it didn't carry near the same crushing amount of guilt and regret. That was why she so desperately wanted to understand! If she could then she would be able to offer more than just patience and kind words…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> "Don't say that," Rey pleaded, "Even if they're only dreams it still matters. And you are not useless," she challenged, "especially not if you're asking for help. Besides, is it really a burden if I want to share it?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I suppose not," Ben reluctantly agreed, after a long moment "but I still don't- It was awful Rey, what I did…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"All the more reason not to try to endure it alone."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But I don't deserve-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't you even finish that thought!" Rey cut him off, her glare stern and unwavering, "That's an awful thing to say about anyone, especially yourself. I don't put my foot down on much but I'm certainly putting it down on that!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben laughed, a wet, slightly choked, thing, and Rey savored that victory, however small.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're pretty spectacular, you know that?" He tried to tease, pulling himself up to sit cross-legged, "You win. Even if I don't like it, you are right."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unable to help a bit of snark Rey offered him a playful smile as she moved to mirror him, "Of course I am!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The eye-roll she received was as much a precious victory as the laugh had been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands came up to entwine with hers and she closed her eyes when his mind tentatively reached out to her's. She reached back quickly, trying to project as much comfort and support as she could. This wound was deep and if she was going to purposefully prod it then that was the very least she could do.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>          The dream resurfaced immediately. Rocky and violent. Smoke, so thick she could barely see, choked her lungs and stung her eyes. The earth around her was barren, dry, cracked, and dead. Embers, from towering, unseen, fires, singed her skin, while lightning ripped apart the sky and shattered the ground. The sick, sweet, smell of something, unthinkably horrible, burning, charring, assaulted her nose and made her want to gag. Something stalked, obscured, given away only by a flash of sickly, burning, green light- here to harm, here to punish. On all sides unseen numbers of people cried out to her, some for help, some to condemn. Beside her, at the center of this hell, Ben stood, his hand gripped tightly in her own, stone-faced and unblinking, refuting and denying none of the barbs hurled at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This wasn't right. This wasn't justice, this was vengeance. The dead would not gain peace from this; she knew he knew that, but on some level, he must still think that it would satisfy. Or maybe even that he himself could not accept change or move forward until he'd been rightfully punished? But from the way this all seemed, no punishment would ever be enough for him to feel that he had paid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had wanted to see, to understand, and now she did, but there was more to this, wasn't there? She could sense it, however, faint, however far away, echoing in the Force. Something wanted to be seen. To be known. She focused her attention on Ben, he must feel it too, she felt with certainty he could guide them there. He finally tore his eyes away from the dream and locked them with hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They must go but to where?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dream warped, becoming clearer, less the easily molded substance of the unconscious and more the hazy certainty of memory. For a moment the eyes she looked out of were not her own. A sparse room, flashes of a figure looming, threatening, blazing with green. Why would you do this? Why why </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The memory hurt deeply, it didn't feel like the end of the fall, but it did feel like the moment before impact. They were closer, but this wasn't quite it. Memories were biased, no matter how hard you might try. Though it was harrowing they were the swiftest and most sure way to a clear vision of the past, to where it seemed, the Force was bidding they go.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They were in a room. A hut. Smooth plastered walls, simple thatch ceiling. No transition, they were just simply there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey's eyes were drawn almost immediately to the figure sleeping on a thin mat mere inches from where she stood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben Solo, currently around sixteen years of age. Even this much younger he was already so tall, it felt like he barely fit in the room at all. This place must have been solely for resting and not much else, there was so little here besides its occupant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This is it…" Ben said from beside her, his voice was quiet, giving the odd impression that he thought he might accidentally wake his younger self if he was too loud. He was avoiding looking at the younger man, instead, his eyes lingered on the few meager possessions the room contained, some plainclothes, books, what looked like a travel bag. A faint wave of longing rolled off of him when his eyes landed on some papers and writing materials but it was quickly quashed when they brushed over the hilt of the saber resting beside them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey squeezed his hand, trying to convey her desire to support. Even here, in what was happening ostensibly solely in their minds, he looked tired. How long had he been having nightmares like the one that had woken her? His hand trembled slightly in her own when he squeezed back and she wondered if perhaps they had ever stopped…</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't just his present self. Despite the calm relaxed expression on the younger Ben's face, his presence in the Force was anything but. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If she could compare Ben now to a calm lake whose surface belied racing eddies beneath, or Kylo Ren, a frozen, dark, sea, broken and frostbitten, left to the mercy of violent storms. This was both... and neither; a churning raging storm, flashing hot and cold, becoming septic. The more Rey focused on the seeping darkness thrashing inside the boy, the closer she came to a concerning truth. This was not the violent struggle of something trying to break free, a bid not to give in to the darkness within oneself. No… this felt like a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fight</span>
  </em>
  <span>. A siege against the young man's defenses, breaking him down little by little, and from what she felt, this young Ben was dangerously close to losing... </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How did this happen?" She asked already knowing her Ben had no answer, "It's like he- you, are being torn apart from the inside… how did Master Luke not see..?"</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait...</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey squinted her eyes as though it would let her see the brief flash she'd just sensed. It was like a wisp of vapor or the flitting of a shadow just outside one's vision. Something was wrong here, more so than before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben's hand clenched around her's, his gaze had followed, no doubt he had sensed it too "I don't understand…" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every time the sleeping boy started to settle she'd sense the presence again and his emotions would once more become rocky and disoriented, a smoldering fire prodded with a stick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It abruptly brought to mind an insect back on Jakku. A Jag-Wasp. A palm-sized, winged, stinging thing that liked to prey on small animals. It would swoop down and sting them, sending the creature into convulsions and delirium until it passed out, after which the wasp would lay its eggs in the small puncture, and its prey would wake up later none the wiser, oblivious to the impending death they carried within them. She'd been taught to avoid them early on, the lesson hammered home when she'd witnessed the result of inattentiveness first hand...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The comparison made her feel ill.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Time, being what it was, would wait for no one, and before Rey could search any further for this foreign presence the door to the hut cracked open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben, her Ben, present Ben, tensed when a black-clad figure entered the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Poorly suppressed fear lanced across their bond. Even with how much had happened and how much time had passed, Ben's reaction to his uncle was still so visceral.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey had seen this scene before, once even through Ben's own eyes, but that didn't make it any easier to watch the tragedy unfold and be unable to stop it. She tried to ignore her own feelings of helplessness as Master Luke stood over his sleeping nephew, sensing that same cacophony they had. In a moment he would almost give in to his own fear, nearly acting on the impulse to murder his pupil. His own family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Again she asked the audient void, </span>
  <em>
    <span>how did this happen</span>
  </em>
  <span>? How could it be so that a young man had had such misery inside of him and his own family not see it? What had made Ben hide it? What had made his own uncle so blind to it? Further, if he had begun to suspect, why wait this long? Why was there no other option? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Look</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the Force seemed to whisper. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Watch. See.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The same elusive presence seized her attention again. It seemed to dart (she thought of the wasp) binding about her former teacher like sinister fingers that covered the eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The vibrant green of a lightsaber burned through the room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Master don't!" Ben cried out and it was only Rey's tight hold on his hand that kept him from rushing to try and halt the inexorable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The younger Ben jerked awake, freezing immediately under the searing light of his uncle's saber.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time seemed to slow, the pounding of her own heart in her ears nearly drowning out present Ben's whispered pleading for this to not happen again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She did not miss how the phantom shadow suddenly flitted away and reason returned to Luke's eyes. The horror of what he had nearly done had stayed his hand but young Ben read the pause as his only chance at survival; blue met green with a horrible crack of energy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke roared denials but his student was clearly not willing to believe them. Even though she already knew it would happen, Rey was still shaken by the raw strength of the boy when he brought the building crashing down around them. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Their perspective was abruptly shifted and they were now watching everything continue to unfold a few feet away from the pile of fresh rubble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the dust settled, the fledgling Jedi stumbled from the wreckage, falling to his knees only a few steps away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This part was not something Rey had seen before and her heart broke for him all over again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why…?" The boy whispered, "Why?!" His voice grew louder, "Why did you do it?!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey felt the Wasp again, a sick freezing feeling, settling on the back of young Ben's neck in a revolting mockery of comfort. Young Solo's hands clawed and gripped his hair and he screamed, raw and horrible, his voice cracking under the strain as he cried, body wracking with grief at what he believed he'd done. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beside her, she could hear Ben's breath hitching while he struggled to repress his own remembered anguish from this moment. All Rey could think to do was press herself close to his side, eyes not leaving the awful scene before her, lest she miss whatever it was the Force wanted so badly to show them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, guilt rose in her stomach at making Ben relive this moment when he was clearly not ready to confront it. She'd been reminding herself constantly not to push too hard, but once again she felt like perhaps she'd gone and done it anyway. She'd thought, if she could share the nightmare, maybe it wouldn't hurt him so badly. She hadn't anticipated all this… Still, the Force did not call out by accident, whatever this was, it was meant to be seen, and seen now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The chill in the air grew worse, so much so in fact that it shook young Ben from his sobbing. Rey followed his startled gaze to the sky above the Jedi temple. To her horror, she saw that it was no longer the cool black of a clear night but instead unnatural red clouds were gathering above the structure's highest dome. The air grew thick and eerily still. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy surged to his feet, running towards the building!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did not get more than a scant few steps before the titanic bolt of lightning struck.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound was deafening.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The temple shattered to pieces, the force of the destruction tossing the boy back and sending him sprawling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey's own legs gave out, and present Ben steadied her as best he could. So much life, so many different melodies within the force, all silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No," the Ben of the past repeated, over and over, like a mantra that might undo this horror. He shook, staring at the nearly unrecognizable bodies sprawled in the rubble.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy forced himself back to his feet and ran for the wreckage. He would find no one to save. They had all perished when the first strike had hit. He was almost there when, as though to punish him for even daring to try, a second bolt, even larger than the first hit, and he was cast away, bouncing like a rag doll along the unforgiving, dry, earth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-" the boy choked against the dirt, pushing up to his hands and knees, staring into the flames, "- never." He gasped for air, panic setting in, "I didn't want this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you did not choose it, Ben.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey's blood froze in her veins. She knew that voice. That monster, he'd already been speaking to Ben! From where? How far?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The JEDI did. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Snoke continued, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Skywalker.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Past Ben shook, he felt so cold to her, like a sheet of ice was starting to form over turbulent waters… </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was him…" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey turned to present Ben, who had finally torn himself from the awful scene.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"All these years," </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could see him digging his nails into his palm and the hand that gripped her’s was just shy of being too painful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I thought I'd done it. That I’d lost control of my emotions and killed them all…" tears continued to create tracks along his cheeks as he mourned everyone he'd lost all over again, "It's so much worse than that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ben, no," Rey insisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>"Yes!" he insisted back, "It wasn't inexperience or a moment of weakness or an accident! It was him! </span><b><em>I </em></b><span>let him in! He told me all the lies I wanted to hear, he went through me to blind my family, and I didn't question it! </span><b><em>I</em></b> <span>let him use me to kill them all!" </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ben!" Rey urgently took his cheek in her free hand, making him look at her, really look at her, "Don't go that way. The Force doesn't punish people. That's not why we were shown this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why else then?" Her grief-stricken companion challenged, "It doesn't make me innocent. I still fell to the dark side, I still caused so much death. Just because that puppet was deceiving me before I realized he was doesn't make me forgiven."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know that! But, all this time, you thought Master Luke had intended to kill you,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben flinched but she pressed on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Now you've seen the truth, that he was being toyed with too. Blinded to what was happening. Snoke- Palpatine, knew better than to allow the person who saved </span>
  <b>Darth Vader</b>
  <span> a chance to save you." Rey looked at him pleadingly, "Doesn't that change </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben looked away for a moment, watching a small group of Jedi confronting his past self. Helplessly he asked, "But what do I do, now that I know?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I- don't know," Rey reluctantly confessed, "Master Luke wasn't perfect, as much as we, or even he, wanted him to be. When I first met him, I admit, I was disappointed. I realized later that he was acting the way he did because he was suffering like you were, he blamed himself for everything that happened and thought that his isolation would fix it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But it didn't! I kept hurting more and more people. I hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rey! I was still a monster! He should have stopped me! He should have-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ben, stop! Don’t say that! Yes, you did do those things. I'm not trying to debate that and I'm certainly not trying to pretend that just because you were manipulated it negates all your wrongs!" Rey drew a breath to center herself, "I'm trying to say that it is your </span>
  <em>
    <span>responsibility</span>
  </em>
  <span> but it is not your</span>
  <em>
    <span> fault</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Master Luke's guilt was holding him back, it kept him from moving forward. Don't you think yours might be too?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben stared at her in the way he sometimes did, like he couldn't believe she was actually real. Rey fought back embarrassment and kept her resolute expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know how to even start…" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sternness melted into sympathy, "I know. Neither do I if I'm honest. I know who might though, you should try talking to Master Luke. Even if he can't directly appear, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> he'll listen."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben looked away from her again, this time to a ship taking off in the distance, "That's me up there," he told her. Even though it was an abrupt shift in topic, it still felt like he was trying to give her an answer, "I didn't know what to do when the others confronted me. They wouldn't listen to me and I was too upset to listen to them. So I ran. I thought about going home but… I was afraid. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I still am</span>
  </em>
  <span>," He looked back at her, swallowing hard, "I- want to try to stay this time."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey couldn't have kept the beaming smile from her face if she'd wanted to. She threw her arms around him and hugged him for all that she was worth, and as the vision began to dissolve around them it felt like finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally,</span>
  </em>
  <span> things might begin to move forward.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>TBC</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Silly Rey! Just because we will finally start moving forward doesn't mean the angst is over! </p><p>I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As always let me know if there are any mistakes that I missed or tags that I should add!</p><p>Your feedback is super helpful and gives me creative fuel so I would love to know what you thought! Also, if you want to check out my artwork or even just say hello, feel free to stop by my art tumblr! Here--&gt; http://cc-sketchbook.tumblr.com  or my twitter --&gt; @chaos_child</p><p>See you guys next time! ~ Much love, CC</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. When you refuse to move, the universe makes you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I wonder how revolting it was for you to pretend to play nice, just to save your own skin? I can't wait to see what the New Republic decides to do with your worthless hide. Execution is always an option, but I think I'm going to suggest imprisonment in the worst cell they have. One of those old ones the Empire made for Jedi. Just leave you in there alone to rot."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, guys look! The plot™ is here! :D</p>
<p>Also, I have to give out major props to my boyfriend who was nice enough to let me read all 34 pages of this out loud and make sure the plot worked. You're the best babe! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Who am I now that the silence surrounds?</p>
<p>It's so loud, there's nothing to block out</p>
<p>I'm not proud of the emptiness</p>
<p>Following me everywhere I go</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lurking just beneath fragile surface</p>
<p>Itching to release, is it worth it?</p>
<p>Go back to the days, constant hurting</p>
<p>Tell me there's a way out of this</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'Cause right now I'm just going through all of the motions</p>
<p>That's the only way that I know how to function</p>
<p>Spent so many years, fighting tears, and emotion</p>
<p>Finally figured out, it's my only solution</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- Runaway, Arman van Buuren</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Long long ago in a galaxy far far away…</b>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>          Ben Solo, one: male, human, Force-sensitive, former Jedi Apprentice, former Ren of the Knights of Ren, former supreme leader of the First Order, now…um, whatever he was, liked to think that in the grand scheme of things he didn't care what other people thought of him. Granted, he didn't like attention, in almost any capacity actually, the pressure of expectation was something he very much did not care for, but, as far as opinions went he couldn’t care less. Which was pretty easy to justify at present when just about everyone rightfully disliked him. At least that's what he told himself. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What he <em> did </em> care about though was making trouble for others. Primarily for Rey. She had a bad habit of putting herself (once even literally) between him and whoever decided he'd done something wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Like right now. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His frown deepened as he watched her, standing on the bridge of the ship, all those hundreds of meters away. Her expression was neutral, but her posture spoke of tension, and her emotions belied a growing frustration. Unfortunately, that wasn't a surprise. At the moment she was getting chewed out by Dameron. Seemed the general thought Ben had been the one to break the door to his quarters (in name only) in some absurd attempt at escape. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh, yes, of course! That made complete sense! Clearly, he'd ripped the door off its mounting and… gone to sleep in his bunk… Such a dastardly executed plan!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Idiot…</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>"Uh," a hesitant voice broke him out of his stewing, "Are you, okay?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben turned his gaze to Finn and did not miss the way the former stormtrooper flinched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Because, um, you've been staring at that wall there for a long time now," Finn pressed on valiantly, "you look like you want to make it explode…or something."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sorry," Ben replied, trying to school his features into something that didn't harken violence, "I'm not going to attack the wall or anything." Smooth. "Dameron is lecturing Rey." He clarified, trying to salvage this growing awkwardness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finn's emotions were a mix of disappointment, sadness, and <em> sympathy </em> of all things, "I wish he wouldn't… is this about the door?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben groaned quietly, "Is there anyone who <em> doesn't </em> know about that?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finn bravely took a seat next to him at what was quickly becoming "his" table in the mess hall. He wasn't very fond of that, truth be told. It wasn't his because he'd claimed it or preferred to sit at it, no it was because everyone else avoided it. The one positive was that they let him be for the most part. It was still a wonder he could be in there alone at all, but at some point, it had been decided that it was the only place aside from his "room" he could be left "unsupervised" without risking Rey getting yelled at. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"At this point? Probably most people," the Finn shrugged.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Do I even want to know what they're saying?" Ben mumbled unhappily. Why was he bothering trying to converse with the other man? It would be better for both of them if he said nothing and Finn just left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finn looked to take his question seriously and furrowed his brow in thought, "The most common rumor floating around is that you went into some kind of fit and tried to escape and Rey had to stop you. Or some version of that. They think she's doing that whole Jedi mind control thing."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That isn't how- you know what, I don't care.  None of that surprises me…" Ben let his gaze fall again to the young woman, so far away, but as clear to him as if she were standing just on the other side of the table. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was still so miraculous to him, that doing something this advanced and (for anyone else) frankly dangerous, was as easy for them as breathing. She was far away but if he were to reach out he could physically touch her and vice versa. It was dizzying to think about the implications, that for all the literal space between them they were actually occupying the same "spiritual" space in the Force and thus were not apart at all. It was equal parts daunting and comforting...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could see Dameron to a degree, pacing back and forth, gesturing wildly. He was far less distinct than Rey herself, his fuzzy appearance and muffled voice only available to him because she was allowing Ben to perceive them. Rey believed that he should be allowed to be present for these lectures as well so he could defend himself, but since he wasn't she was leaving her senses more open to him. It was a noble gesture but he wasn't sure if he would even bother to defend himself if he was there. Dameron had already made up his mind and there would be no changing it. There was also the fact that despite any good he <em> had </em>done, as well as the new insight he'd gained from the night before this did not negate the numerous horrible things he had done or had allowed to happen. It was only natural that the general felt that he was getting away with his crimes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just because he was guilty didn't mean he liked how Dameron was talking to her… She wasn't ignoring any of his crimes, she was searching for a way for him to repent for them. Something that wasn't just being executed or being locked away somewhere, though he wasn't entirely convinced yet that wasn't exactly what he deserved...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The young Jedi shifted her gaze, past the man in front of her to lock her eyes with Ben. Her expression stayed neutral but her eyes held a kind acknowledgment and a poorly hidden curiosity as to whom he was now talking to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben huffed a soft laugh and relaxed his hold on his mental barriers, letting her in turn, perceive the impression of Finn sitting beside him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A small smile tugged at her lips and by her side, her fingers waggled slightly in greeting. A small hope flitted silently, a hope that he and Finn might become friends. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That wouldn't happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Rey says hello," he told the former trooper, watching the other man blink then squint his eyes at the place Ben was looking, as though he might be able to see his friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So you are doing that <em> thing </em>," Finn mused, oddly serious, "that thing where you can see and talk to each other from far away?" He looked back at Ben who caught a sudden, small wisp of jealousy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That last bit was surprising. What was there to be jealous of? When it came to Rey specifically Finn had a far easier time talking with her, more history. Most importantly, he didn't have any underlying sins that needed to be tread lightly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You really can see her, can't you?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes," </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Can you see Poe too?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes," Ben confirmed again, feeling a little off-kilter by how Finn was talking to him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was almost acting like the awkwardness was just the two of them getting to know each other, pretending there'd never been any animosity between them at all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I can see him and hear him because she can see and hear him. I couldn't if she didn't want me to."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finn hummed in understanding, "That makes sense, that she'd want you to know what was happening, I mean. Is it really bad?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben looked away and focused his attention on the conversation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"-insanely lenient. He should have been tried and locked up or executed, but he wasn't, which means you're responsible for everything he does. You wanted your "pet" and you got him, keep him on his leash!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He deserved every word and more, Ben knew that, he thought so himself, but the insult struck something raw and visceral.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> You wonder why I keep a rabid cur in such a place of power? A cur's weakness, properly manipulated, can be a sharp tool.  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey's own indignation bounced back into the sickening sinking anger that welled in his stomach and the long-forgotten mug in front of him on the table jumped in warning, a crack snapping up its side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hey now!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben nearly failed to restrain a flinch at the hand that suddenly grasped his shoulder, pulling him abruptly back to reality.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you alright?" Finn pressed. Concern rolled off of him in waves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Wha- no, I'm fine…" he should feel fine. Why had he reacted so poorly to such a stupid comment? The words weren't even the same? But the underlying meaning...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you sure about that?" Finn was looking in the direction he had been, his hand still surprisingly firm on Ben's shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to shake it off…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No, it's- he called me her "pet"," Ben blurted before he could stop himself. Damn it, why did he say that?!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finn sighed, finally letting go and giving Ben's shoulder an awkward pat before sitting back down, "Poe doesn't really think that, he's just angry."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I know, it's fine."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He still shouldn't have said it," the younger man insisted, "he needs to work on the whole diplomacy thing. He doesn't understand Rey's point of view, he thinks she's just letting you off the hook, so he gets mad."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben snorted, "Everyone else thinks that too."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Doesn't make them right," Finn snapped, surprising them both, "I mean-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And what do <em> you </em> think then?" Ben challenged, spurned on by a sudden feeling he couldn't name. He felt... almost upset that Finn sounded like he was taking his side. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...Why was that?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In his periphery, Rey shifted, taking her attention completely off of Dameron, much to the general's displeasure, and onto them. A mix of intrigue and mild concern.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I think...um," Finn floundered at the sudden intense tone, "Well, I won't lie," he put up a brave front, "I'm still mad at you, for everything that happened to me and everyone else but- You did things, bad things, <em> really </em> bad things. But I think you know that. I think you're unhappy, that you don't know what to do to fix things, but that you <em> do </em>want to fix them." Finn looked uncomfortable when he admitted, "I've started thinking lately, maybe you're more like us troopers- like me- than I want you to be…Maybe we weren't the only ones stolen..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben stared at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That's...just the feeling I get..." Finn mumbled, cheeks darkening in embarrassment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An interesting possibility began to form in Ben's mind, "This might be an odd thing to ask, but, do you-?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Deception. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben paused, just a brief flash, but for a moment he'd gleaned something. He was being lied to.  No, not a lie- something was being hidden from him. Finn had reminded himself of something, that something was related to Ben, and it was making him feel guilty...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If his years of training as a Jedi and serving under Snoke's brutal control had taught him anything, it was that he should never ignore these sudden insights. It had been impressed upon him by both of his... teachers, to the point that he snatched the feeling on instinct.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> "You can't just be alright with this, just letting him wander around wherever he wants!" Dameron growled, volume just shy of a full yell, "He was the leader of the First Order. He killed uncountable numbers of people. He tortured me and Rey. He murdered his own father. He put you in a coma!" </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> "I know that," Finn replied, standing his ground, pain bled from him at the reminder. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> "Then why-?" </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> "Because it's the smart thing to do," Finn said firmly, keeping his voice low, "I know you don't trust him, but you trust me right? You didn't see when he fought Rey on what was left of the Death Star! If she and I are wrong about him changing, and he is still Ren, you'd never be able to put him down, no matter how many blasters you pointed at him." </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A wave of emotion, even stronger than the one from just a few moments ago, ripped through Ben.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The cracked mug on the table <em>SNAPPED</em> into two halves<em>,</em> what little caf was left spilling out onto the table.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finn jumped up from his seat, "Hold that thought! Let me grab something to clean this up." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as he'd walked an acceptable distance away Ben made his escape.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p><hr/>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>After tracing the ship's halls in a haze, Ben ended up at the main hangar bay again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Specifically, he sat, hidden from view, against the railing of a long-unused catwalk, tucked up in a corner close to the mass of pipes and cross beams that covered the far part of the bay ceiling. He'd discovered the narrow hall and steep flights of stairs that lead up to it about a week prior. </p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>This was bad… to have lost control of his emotions and broken the mug like that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He knew no one trusted him, he <em> knew </em>, he reminded himself over and over on a near-daily basis, moment to moment even! He hadn't done anything other than sitting around, waiting for someone to tell him what to do, obviously, that wouldn't even be remotely close to enough to have anyone trust him! But at some point, he'd started to hope...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before the vision just the other night he'd been content in his malaise, certain when the proverbial shoe dropped he would just calmly accept it without fear as something he rightfully deserved. But now...with last night's revelation and this new information...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt unstable. </p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Ben took a deep breath, trying to recenter himself. The new location made that easier. It was quickly becoming his new favorite place to hide. From up here, he could see the entirety of the hangar, all the people moving around, all the ships that were docked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was no Falcon there this time. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He still felt the urge to go down to it when it was here. If he did, he doubted that would help him sort out his feelings regarding the ship or anything else for that matter. Just walking around inside wouldn't change how guilty he felt. Chewbacca would be there, it was unquestionably <em> his </em> ship now. If he saw him, what would he say? What could he say? To the Wokie who had always been by his father's side no matter how absurd the job. The Wokie who'd been an uncle to him, who had put up with his childish shenanigans, who'd taught him his language, parts of his culture, shown him his family…and how had Ben repaid those kindnesses? He'd thrown it back in Chewbacca's face, killed his best friend, had him captured to use as bait… how could Chewi ever forgive him for what he'd done? What could he possibly say to prove how deeply sorry he was? ...his dad would have known.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His dad… he missed him so much. He already knew he had been forgiven, even after he'd run him through with his saber… That complete forgiveness had been an agony he had no comparison for, Snoke had not been exaggerating when he'd said it had broken him… The pain had changed since then since they had "talked" that final time. But it was still present and Ben wished he knew what to do with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If he did, then maybe he'd know what to do with these new pains, or the old pains taking new forms. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was growing more and more aware that the things which had let him be so easily pulled away from the light were not entirely gone, now only given new fuses. Helplessness, self-loathing, fear… loneliness… He refused to fall again, he wouldn't, Rey had given so much to bring him back, endured her closest friends' scorn over her choice to keep him by her side and off the executioner's block. He refused to contribute to that and hurt her. But, he had before as Ren, when he'd sought to tear her apart with his fear and sorrow at her rejection. Could he trust himself not to repeat those actions? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He remembered how he'd felt when he'd run after her to Exogal. At that moment he had never been more certain of anything. As long as she was there he didn't need a legacy, or a path, he didn't need to live up to anyone's expectations. If he could even just be allowed to be near her, he would be alright. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But was that fair? To want what he did? Was it right? Jedi weren't supposed to form attachments, the loss of one could lead to the dark side, but he couldn't deny he was very much attached to her. Further, they were attached in a far more literal sense by the Force itself. So, what did this mean? Was it alright for him to indulge his feelings for her? To let himself believe that they were genuine? On Exogal she had kissed him; he'd felt all her joy and gratitude, her relief, her passion. So much love… The interest <em> was </em> reciprocated, of that, he had no doubt, but that didn't answer the issue of it being "right". If he asked, if he pursued this mutual feeling…was he risking pulling her into the darkness? Would he be forcing her to choose between himself and her dearest friends? If something happened to her he honestly didn't know what he'd do, he didn't want to return to that darkness, but other types of darkness would always be more than eager to consume you. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>If they did this and something happened to him, if she were ostracized and fell because of it, he'd never be able to forgive himself… They hadn't spoken about it, about Exogal or the emperor, perhaps it was best left that way?</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Like she'd been summoned, the woman occupying his thoughts appeared at the top of the narrow stairs and moved to take a seat on the grating beside him. Rey's irritation from earlier had tapered off, replaced by a calm resignation. She mimicked his posture, plopping down cross-legged and leaning back against the wall with a sigh.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That is entirely too many stairs… Having fun brooding?" She teased.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Of course," Ben drawled, "it's basically my primary personality trait."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey huffed a laugh to herself before her expression fell again and she went quiet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a moment or two of watching the people working below, in companionable silence, Ben quietly observed, "Your meeting with Dameron upset you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yes," Rey admitted, "I'm more disappointed than anything. In both him and myself." She sighed, "I don't like how I was frustrated that easily… What he said, the pain it caused you was so <em> intense </em>, and now that I know for certain where it's from… It seemed so cruel for him to say." The young Jedi sighed again and shifted herself enough to lean against his side, "I don't think of you like that, I wouldn't ever." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The feeling of her making physical contact with him, entirely without fear, seeking to offer comfort in apology; it made his face heat up and his stomach twist. After a moment's hesitation, Ben put an arm loosely around her shoulders, "I know," he told her, "and thank you for wanting to defend me. It means a lot." Even if he still wasn't sure he deserved it, "Don't get yourself in trouble on my behalf though."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey huffed a laugh and they fell into another comfortable silence, watching from above, unseen. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eventually, she spoke again, "Poe gave me a mission."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ah,"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm supposed to leave this evening." She continued, and he did not miss the disappointment in the way she said "I'm".</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's diplomatic, two political groups on a planet called Crerino are having a dispute over territory that was occupied by Imperial troops."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yes, he'd heard about that- well, not this planet specifically, but the <em> concept </em>- even when he'd been with the order. Small pockets of troops, each with their own orders and plans given to them by the Emperor, in the event that he should fall. Multiple ways, plans, and designs to preserve the empire itself. Each of these groupings was meant to meet up with any other that succeeded enough to be considered a real power in the galaxy and await their emperor's return. Many of those groups had joined with the First Order. Many had not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"They're on the verge of civil war," Rey continued, "Poe tried to get them to agree to talk and they said they only would if a Jedi mediated. I don't think they were expecting him to know one." She made a face, "I told him that I wanted to bring you, I have experience breaking up fights and mediating minor squabbles but nothing on a political level. I told him that you know far more about that than I do, how it would be a good opportunity for you to help, but he disagreed." She wilted, "Maybe he was especially prickly because of our argument? Finn came to find me afterward, trying to convince me that Poe was right. He said that if they realized who you were it might spiral out of control, that they might try to hurt you..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben squeezed her shoulder, "He's not wrong, unfortunately."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I wish he was," Rey leaned a little harder against him and his flush worsened when he felt her arm slip around his waist, "I want you to be there, you could be such a great help. I don't know what to expect from an argument on this scale!" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben offered her a supportive smile, "I thank you for having such confidence in me, but I think you're selling yourself short." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't know about that, but at least I'll have Finn for moral support, and C3PO so I don't completely destroy relations with them all before I even start."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben smiled, "That's good. 3PO may be a bit stuffy sometimes but I do remember him being very good at his job. Just make sure he doesn't fuss himself into a meltdown, it helps to be very specific in what you're trying to do." He didn't comment on Finn, he was glad she would have a friend there to support her but his earlier encounter with the ex-trooper was still niggling him from the back of his brain… he shoved the irritation away, he'd choose to be glad for her, she was finally getting to be active, to do something. She'd do fine, with or without him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thinking about it, maybe there was something he could do, "I may not be going but I can still help you. I assume Dameron gave you a copy of the mission brief? We can look at it together before you leave if you want. We could review it on your way there too? At least come up with a plan on how to approach it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey turned her head and beamed up at him, her presence in the Force rippling like waves of gentle heat off of warm sand, "That would be wonderful! Between the two of us, we'll figure something out!" Her expression faltered slightly and she gave him a worried look, "Ben? Please be careful while I'm gone. I don't think you're in any kind of specific danger just… I keep getting a bad feeling at the thought of leaving you here, alone."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'll be careful," Ben promised, "I don't go much of anywhere anyway and I like to think I'm halfway decent at avoiding people. I'll just keep to myself until you get back." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This seemed to satisfy her and the two resumed their silent observation, side by side, leaning against one another in a partial embrace. Ben thought once more about the words he held, burning, on the back of his tongue, but decided against it. Rey would need all of her focus for this mission and any help he or the others could provide. She didn't need the distraction of his confession and he had her warning and his own sense of unease to meditate on as well. He had very few allies here and getting caught up in unnecessary trouble would be bad for both of them.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>True to what she'd said Rey departed later that evening and Ben mentally prepared himself for at least a week without her.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The solution for his broken door came around that same time. It was not a new door or even a new room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a cell.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Almost the instant Rey's transport was out of communication range Ben had been tracked down — at long last, oh rapturous day! — by <em> General </em>Poe Dameron. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The two of them stared each other down, or up in Dameron's case (something Ben admittedly took juvenile satisfaction in) below deck in an empty hall. Not far from where he'd first bumped into Tico. Oh well, he'd been doing his utmost to avoid... everyone, but they'd been bound to find him eventually. He wasn't exactly hard to spot. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dameron arrived flanked by a security team and while Ben didn't sense any immediate danger, he could sense their fear of him, the courage they were drawing upon was taken from their faith in the general, who, as previously said, was staring him down. Even so, fear plus a blaster wasn't a very good combination so Ben had chosen to just stand there quietly until someone finally said something.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He <em> was </em> sorely tempted to ask which of them should speak first. It would have been in spectacularly poor taste and Rey certainly wouldn't have approved. It was tough though not to prod at the other man. Dameron just rubbed him the wrong way. Too much grandiose attitude? No that wasn't quite it… No, the vitriol and flexing of authority was something directed solely at him. Even though this was the first time they were meeting face to face since his coming here Dameron's reputation among his crew vastly preceded him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To hear them talk he was a hero, and that was probably true. He was friendly and personable to them all, courageous and quick-witted, inspiring. Very likely he was all those things. His presence in the Force was akin to a brilliant swath of red, but it wasn't painted with the same emotions as say, the red of his corrupted saber, rather it was more the red that the downtrodden flew in their banners when they hit their breaking point, united, and rose to riot. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No, all this negativity was reserved just for him, Dameron had every reason in the galaxy to despise and distrust him, and none of it was undeserved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Considering you blew up the quarters we were generous enough to give you," Dameron finally said, leaping headfirst into the accusation, "obviously, you can't use them anymore."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben fought the urge to correct him about who broke what and to how much of a degree. That wouldn't serve to help anything, certainly, it would make things worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"And since Rey isn't here to keep an eye on you," Dameron continued, "Your new quarters will be a cell in the brig."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ah, there it was. He'd been wondering when they'd get around to locking him up. This must have been what he'd gleaned during his brief conversation with Finn, they'd been waiting for Rey to leave to do this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You'll remain there until I decide otherwise. If you ever need to leave you <em> will </em> be escorted. We'll have someone bring you food and water periodically."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben just nodded at him flatly. Guilt quickly followed a sense of satisfaction when Dameron squirmed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Well?!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Well, what?" Ben asked the first time he'd spoken during this encounter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You don't have anything to say?" Dameron pressed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Not really, no." Ben shrugged, "it makes sense. I assume this is a precaution until Rey returns?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dameron made a face and Ben didn't need the Force to know that he wasn't pleased with his casual acceptance of the plan. What else could he say though?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm not going to tell her," he told the general, "She doesn't need something like that interfering with her mission. So you don't need to worry about that." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Don't act like you're doing me some kind of favor," Dameron snarled, "I'll deal with it when Rey gets back, this is my ship and my crew, she doesn't get to dictate anything about what we do!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Okay…" Not to be distracted by Dameron turning a fascinating shade of offended, Ben asked, "Shall we?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Now hold on just a damn minute-!" Dameron snapped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Am I going to a cell or not?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dameron rounded so quickly that for the barest moment Ben genuinely prepared to defend himself. "What are you <em> doing </em>?" The general hissed, voice low.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I thought I was being arrested, but now I'm not entirely sure?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What was he doing? He knew he shouldn't be goading Dameron, and he'd been trying not to, but the longer he stood in the man's presence the more his control slipped, the more he acted like a smart ass. If he kept this up the general would snap and likely one or both of them would wind up injured.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So why couldn't he stop himself? What about Dameron was getting under his skin so easily?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wasn't an enemy, all his dislike of Ben was founded in sound reasoning. The things he'd done just to Dameron <em> alone </em> when he'd taken him captive were deplorable, he'd tortured the man, dug into his mind, and ripped out what he wanted. That he hadn't left him with permanent injuries was probably only thanks to the sliver of "Ben" who'd still been in there at the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could tell himself that Poe's smart-ass comments and attitude were what was getting under his skin, but that wasn't it was it? Poe was...he acted like- this defensive persona was reminiscent of… of Han Solo… That was it wasn't it? The comparison made him feel sick so that had to be it, and once he'd realized that it all fell into place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Poe was emulating his father but from the point of view of a person who idolized him rather than had known him. Han would have been a hero to someone like that, born in unfair and brutal circumstances, forced to do unpleasant things to survive...and his mother's cause would have been a beacon of hope to said person. She must have seen that courage and hope in Poe, seen enough promise to select him as her successor even if he hadn't been fully ready for the task.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Poe was a good leader, he led his people as a comrade, not a dictator as Kylo Ren had- even his own knights had been ignored if they weren't immediately useful…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Poe was...he was what everyone had expected Ben Solo to be. Everything he'd failed to become. He was the son his parents <em> should </em>have had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...That was it. That's why he hated him…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> I'm so pathetic... </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Whatever you're trying to do it's not going to work!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben took a deliberate step into the other man's personal space, as expected the general held his ground, despite his growing unease. Courage in the face of an abuser, another thing Ben Solo had failed to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"General Dameron," Ben said quietly, submitting and keeping the peace. He didn't care if the guards heard, probably it was best that they did, he wouldn't make their leader look weak in front of them, and he didn't care what others thought of him after all, "I was disrespectful and out of line, you are right, I apologize. I honestly do agree with your decision, it's the correct thing to do. If I were in your place I would make the same call."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt Poe's emotions war inside him, conflicting feelings that eventually settled somewhere in the middle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The general said nothing, instead, he grabbed Ben by his upper arm and directed him down the hall. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the end, Ben was still taken to a cell, but he wasn't cuffed. What that meant exactly he didn't know, but it made something inside him hurt.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p><hr/>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>The cell itself was exactly what was to be expected. Gray metal floor, gray metal walls, gray metal ceiling, gray metal bed, gray metal bars- featuring a nasty charge if you touched them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The bed had a pillow though. How fancy!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...his sarcasm wasn't getting him anywhere.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>True to his word he hadn't said a thing to Rey about his predicament. So far their connection had been quiet and he wasn't going to bother her, especially not with this. Besides, there was nothing <b>to</b> say. If they let him out upon her return he'd never mention it, if they didn't he wouldn't protest being kept in confinement. He might not personally enjoy it, who would, but you weren't supposed to enjoy your punishment anyway.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Two hours into his self-appointed task of counting the pattern of rivets on the ceiling, Ben looked away at a hesitant sound, accompanied by an even more hesitant presence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rose.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>She was just outside his cell, her back to him, leaning against the wall, refusing to look at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Were you in on it too?" He called, after a few minutes when she didn't say anything. He kept his voice even and unconcerned, "The whole waiting for Rey to leave and then toss me in a cell?" He continued despite himself, "You're very good, I didn't sense your deception at all." He regretted the words as soon as he'd said them, but that wouldn't put them back in his mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He'd been waiting for this exact thing to happen, he'd told Dameron that same thing and he hadn't been lying, but somehow he felt a faint sting of betrayal with Rose and it made him sharp against his better judgment.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>"Shut up," Rose said quietly, voice heavy with unshed tears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben shut his mouth, returning his blank stare to the ceiling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I almost wish you'd said something meaner, or at least said it sooner..." the mechanic said, "I know I'm a hypocrite, you don't have to tell me. I meant every word of what I said before. I do believe that people should get the chance to prove they want to change." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He heard her sniff, her presence in the Force losing its normally bright and cheerful saturation, a color similar to her namesake, as she spoke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I thought I'd be able to stick to my principals, but I can't… I can't reconcile you. You can go by a different name but you're still Kylo Ren."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben flinched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"When we were evacuating after we destroyed the Star Killer… Paige, my sister… She was in one of the ships trying to protect us. Poe convinced all of our fighters and bombers to stay and take out that destroyer... She was all the family I had left and she's gone because of you!" Her voice betrayed that she was now openly crying, "We almost lost General Organa. You chased us to Crate. You held us under siege. Finn almost got himself killed in some misguided noble sacrifice nonsense. And- and I almost got myself killed stopping him…"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben heard the rustle of her sleeve as she wiped at her eyes, "You're all… you're all such morons! You don't think at all about the people you're going to be left behind when you do stupid things...you don't think about the lives of the people who die because of your actions…the people they leave behind..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Rose," Ben finally spoke again when she was quiet, guilt burning his throat and eyes, "if I could take back and undo even one thing I've done, I would, even if it killed me."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rose laughed, there wasn't anything even close to happy about it, "If you think that's remotely what I want you're even more of an idiot than I thought."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben fell silent, not trusting himself to speak just now. She wouldn't appreciate his bitter tears and Whills knew he deserved them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Soft-spoken as she was, Rose had a way with what she said, a tone, or a phrasing maybe? It gave a sense of weight and finality to her words, it belied a wealth of experience far too vast for how young she was, how little if any naivete was left. All he'd seen of her including this new side were genuine. It seemed once again he'd met a person who'd lost almost everything one could lose and survived with their hope intact, who in the face of the person who'd wronged them only felt sadness and regret instead of hate…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, he'd never sensed deception she'd never deceived him...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was so much stronger than he was. In comparison he was pathetic...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Then what do I do?" He asked, not for the first time, probably not the last.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I don't know," Rose admitted, "I don't even know why I came down here." She wiped her eyes again, "Just let me be mad at you for a bit."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben nodded even though she couldn't see it, "Okay."</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Three days into his confinement Ben had fallen into a simple routine. It was strange, he'd assumed that he'd be miserable, fighting to keep from going stir crazy, or struggling with his rocky emotional state, but he wasn't. Instead, he felt a detached sort of calm, a sense of focus on each simple task he performed. He didn't feel <em> good </em> exactly, more he just didn't feel <em> bad. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>If he'd stopped to think about it he might have considered that he could be dissociating from the situation, but that would require him to- well, actually <em>do</em> <em>that</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And he <em> was </em> a Skywalker so, you know...</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Ben got himself up early, at least by the standards of the planet Rey was on (Compared to the ship's cycle she was 6 hours ahead of him right now) cleaned himself up the best he could in the tiny exposed fresher jammed into the corner of the cell, ate whatever meal had been left for him, went over the game plan with Rey for that day's negotiations, did some basic exercises while she got ready, listened in on the aforementioned negotiations and gave advice when prompted, somewhere in there was another meal, then talking over the day's events with Rey, meditate, eat again, sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The same thing, over and over. Something would change when Rey returned, what, he didn't know, but something. On the surface, it was clear he'd been imprisoned to make sure he didn't do anything while she was gone, but given Rose's rather emotional visit the first day, he wondered if this was not actually the case.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He tried to put the question of what would happen out of his mind for now. He'd already tried to meditate on it and all he'd gotten was a jumbled mash of sensory input and a splitting headache that made him curl up in his bunk for the better part of an hour. So whatever was to be hadn't been decided then? It must not be if the Force had no clear insight...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hadn't told Rey about his predicament, hopefully, he wouldn't have to. If he was lucky things would go back to whatever passed as normal and this would stay some awkward secret.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So he would endure it, split the day into manageable pieces and choke each one down until it was over. He'd survived worse.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Currently, he was sitting on his (hopefully?) temporary bed, meager pillow behind him for at least a little bit of comfort, going over that day's game plan with Rey. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There had been next to no progress.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The issue was fairly simple and straightforward and that itself seemed to be the problem.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Crerino, as a planet, wasn't anything spectacular. It was overall very arid, with sizable ice deposits on either polar cap. Those melted into a handful of rivers which served as the largest (and only) bodies of water on the planet. The atmosphere was thinner than normal so anything smaller evaporated very quickly. What little flora the planet possessed grew close to those rivers and thus the majority of local fauna did as well. It was a very difficult place to live.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The population was a mix of peoples and species and there didn't appear to be any planetary natives. That was good at least, it made things considerably less complicated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So what reason would a splinter group from the Empire have to occupy and decimate this planet? Simple, the planet was relatively unknown and its main export was Zersium ore, one of the main components in Durrasteel, Plastisteel, and Transparasteel. No one would notice if it went dark and no one had when it did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Whatever they'd been gathering the resources for, it hadn't been the First Order. Hopefully, it had been for the Final Order's fleet and not something they didn't yet know about...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That aside, the inciting issue was that when the planet was being occupied the Imperials turned the capital city for the first group, the Kinsy, into a processing plant. It dumped directly into the river the city was built on, which as established, was their only local source of water. The occupation had left the river so contaminated that it would likely be an entire generation before it was safe to drink, even with the use of scrubbers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The other faction, the Sharem had their city converted into- to call it housing would be <em> very </em> generous- and members of both groups were forced to share the limited space and even more limited resources, and forced to work in the unsafe and toxic environment of the processing plant while the invaders had profited off of their misery.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p><b>But!</b> This wasn't the main issue! No, if that was all it was that would have been easy! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The <em> actual </em> issue was the groups themselves. They had probably colonized the planet during the High Republic Era, settlers hoping to strike it rich, not yet knowing what a difficult home they'd chosen. What hadn't been in the report Rey had received was that the names of the factions, the Kinsy and the Sharem, were religions. Probably formed in response to their struggles to survive. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And they <b> <em>hated</em> </b> each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now that the Imperials that had been occupying the planet had been cleared out the Sharem had dedicated all their time to scraping by and trying to salvage and repair the terrible Imperial tenements their once beautiful city had been reduced to. The dregs of the Empire had designed the spaces for quantity and not quality. The rundown slums were so shoddy that in some places, in a city of millions, roads were unpaved marshes made of mud, chemical run-off, and standing water, which harbored all manner of disease. A truly detestable state of living that only served to exacerbate the two opposing groups forced to live in it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This Sharem had sought strength in their faith, a kind of transcendentalism. Much of their doctrine seemed to be pieced together from the stories of the Wookie Tree of Life on Kashyyyk, with their own localized interpretations of course. The gist was that, according to them, every planet possessed its equivalent — a super lifeform that represented the very living will of nature… and of The Force. As such, the Sharem had always strived to keep the planet as close to its original, undisturbed state as possible so as to live harmoniously with nature. Something that they wished to return to as soon as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The problem was… that would take credits and time, neither of which was possible without resuming their mining and manufacturing, which, with how careful the Sharem were not to cause any unnecessary disturbances, would require more time which they simply did not have. The more extreme believers championed the idea that they should not resume mining at all as this would only further poison the planet, which they were convinced was what had brought on their misfortune. With this promised land they envisioned, full of lushness and greenery as the only thing occupying their minds they weren't open to much else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Meanwhile, the Kinsy also found themselves in an equally difficult predicament. Years of forced labor in a production center for the Imperial war machine had all but erased their original city. Any hope they had of rebuilding made them heavily reliant on resuming their industry. The only way they knew how to survive was by machine, by order, and by supremacy. These three aspects of their lives, likely coupled with an intense fear of the Empire, had become mangled and interwoven tenets of their bizarre faith, pushing it to even further extremes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Kinsy believed in what they called the ‘Metal Song,’ a brief text written in Manaanian script — not Aarabesh — that sung of an immense forge capable of creating life itself. Its chorus praised something called an ‘infinite engine,’ whatever that was. Where they could have gotten this script was impossible to guess. It was also difficult to tell if there was any truth to this legend, but that also didn’t matter. They believed it to be so and would not be dissuaded from their demands for assistance in either restoring their city and its mines and factories or building an entirely new one upriver.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>These conflicting views did nothing to quell the animosity between the Kinsy and Sharem and with every passing day it continued to boil. The only thing that united them was that both deemed it necessary to have a Jedi, or some force user, mediate between them as each of the two sides thought it would serve to validate their beliefs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was it. The source of the impending death of millions of people, the reason they couldn't find a solution that would save them both.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Perhaps he was a hypocrite for saying so, but Ben found the entire thing to be absurd. What good were their beliefs if they all died needlessly for them?</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p><em> Thank you for helping me with this, </em> Rey told him as they went over the notes from the most recent meeting, <em> This whole thing would be daunting enough on its own. But now that I know exactly what's going on I'm not sure how I can get them to reach an agreement in time… </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>"The best thing to do is to stay calm," Ben told her, trying to recall anything he could from his mother's work in the senate. She'd known early on he wouldn't enjoy following in her footsteps on that front, so she'd never pressured him to memorize any of it, now he wished he'd paid even just a little more attention… "Unfortunately you're going to have to be the cool head in this room because they won't help you. They still won't let you bring 3PO in with you?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Not into the conference room, no. They're all very paranoid about sabotage, and listening or recording devices. No coms, no droids, I can't bring my saber either. Not that I should need it! But it's too bad, outside of meetings 3PO has run interference for me a few times now, he can deny it but I think he enjoys it. It's very much his element! </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben smiled, the droid hadn't changed at all then, "He may be a bit much to handle in a crisis but he always seemed earnest, to me at least." He knew some people found the protocol droid to be annoying but as a child, he'd at worst found him to be puzzling, mostly because he didn't understand why 3PO was so attached to his family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt Rey laugh and her gratitude for his help warmed him from the inside out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben's smile grew, despite his current circumstances, "Let's go over what we know about the representatives for each side. Their demands are all very general, it's anything having to do with helping each other that they hate. So we might have better luck going at this on a more personal level. Find at least one thing they both agree on..."</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p><hr/>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>To say that Ben had been incorrect was an understatement. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The negotiations had been going on for nearly five hours with only a brief rest period about halfway through. If Ben didn't know any better he'd almost say that these people were conspiring to waste their time. Certainly, they were fully dedicated to being as unhappy as possible!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had rejected every feasible plan that had been put forth. Merge their communities and expand the city while restoring it? No. Have the Sharem assist the Kinsy in constructing a new city far upriver from the old one? No. Occupy the same city while they waited for the New Republic to send aid? No. Have the Sharem allow the Kinsy to take basic supplies so that they could start building a new city themselves? No.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As far as either side was concerned the other were selfish and inherently deceitful and wicked people. Further, both firmly stood by the idea that the other group's misfortune had been brought about as punishment for believing in false idols.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In short, it was the ultimate test of one's patience.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> I'm at a loss… </em>Rey admitted, trying to maintain the guise of being calm and confident while the young woman acting as the primary representative of the Sharem vaulted into another impassioned speech about how their primary focus should be on her people, knowing she would be soon cut off by the old man who represented the Kinsy when she once again asserted that their industrial ways had brought about their ruin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> This is almost nothing like any argument I've broken up before. An actual mediator should have come with me, or even just come in my place. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You're doing the best you can with what you have," Ben assured her, "Both sides don't want to negotiate, they just want you to say they're the ones in the right and be done with it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey sighed, hopefully, inaudible to the squabbling delegates, <em> That makes it sound like there's nothing I can do.  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben could feel her turning the problem over and over in her head, trying to find something she'd missed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Ben? What would your mother have done, do you think? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He paused, weathering the momentary grief that stabbed his heart, "In all honesty? She would have yelled at them."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Isn't that the opposite of helping…? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Normally yes," Ben agreed, "But mom was… Well, normally she was calm and quiet, she'd listen to other people's issues and then propose the best solution. Some people thought that meant they could walk all over her. That's when the calm and quiet stopped and she bit their heads off."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey struggled not to laugh out loud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"...She stared down Darth Vader once." Ben added with a bit of hesitation, "she never told me about it, I heard it second hand from my dad and he heard it from a former rebel. She didn't bat an eye, she stood tall and lied right to my grandfather's face."</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> She was amazing. </em> Rey's thoughts were filled with admiration, <em> it was an honor to have her as a Master, even for a short time. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was that guilt again and Ben kept a tight grip on it. Rey didn't need to be bothered, she hadn't meant anything by it after all. Now too there was a longing, a wonder if things might have been different if his mother had been his teacher…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He would have to avoid dwelling too much on that, it simply wasn't possible anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>I suppose I should consider yelling at them, </em>Rey pondered, <em>Maybe not full-on shouting, but more firm at the very least. I need to decide how to phrase it. We know what the options are, they need to pick one of them</em> <em>whether they like it or not.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben couldn't agree more. A gentle hand was all well and good but this situation was clearly calling for something different. He was still sure that Rey could handle this, he knew she did have a bit of a temper, especially when faced with injustice, so if she could apply the right amount of authority to this situation then these people might finally start compromising rather than trying to rip each other to pieces.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had to be better than trying to appeal to the better nature of people convinced that the other side didn't have any- A sudden powerful sense of danger shook the Force, crashing into his skull like a brick!</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>"Rey!" Ben cried out, jumping to his feet, eyes snapping open. The burst of terror from the occupants of that room had been so sudden and intense that it disrupted his focus and he scrambled to get it back and reach out to his other. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>An explosion! A bomb?! She was alive, but was she injured?!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben didn't bother wasting time getting resituated and knelt right there on the floor. Eyes closed he reached out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Rey! </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His inquiry wasn't in words so much this time as it was feeling, a wordless question of her status.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her reply was instant, a burst of sensation and information. She was alive. Injured, though not severely. She'd risen from her chair in the blink of an eye and held the collapsed ceiling, frozen, a few feet above her head. Her heart burned with sorrow; while the delegates had all been spared thanks to her reflexes, many others had not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All those on the floors immediately above her had perished. Further out, where the damage was not as bad there were still several people in serious need of help. However, Rey could not risk moving. A serious enough lapse and the whole thing would come down. Even if she could protect herself the delegates would certainly die.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was at a standstill, her only choice was to stay holding up the collapse and hope that help arrived before her strength gave out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Ben, </em> sorrow threaded her thoughts, <em> there are other people- I can't reach them. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her unspoken plea grieved him and Ben's mind raced to think of something, anything that could work! What could he do? Call for help? Break out and find it? No, that would take too long, besides who would believe him…? The planet's response systems would be faster than the Resistance, so there was little point.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he couldn't just do nothing! If only he'd forced the issue and gone with her, together they would have been able to-!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> With all you've done, you're going to let a little thing like </em> <b> <em>distance</em> </b> <em> stop you? </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>That voice. An unnamable burst of color in the Force.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Uncle Luke," the voice that came out of him was so desperate that he almost didn't recognize it, in the older man’s presence he was just a scared child again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The feeling increased in strength, was it in response to his plea for help? It was just as it had been the last time he’d seen him when they’d fought for the final time and- Wait! Was he suggesting-?...but, that was suicide! He’d never even attempted to use the Force that way before! Even if he actually <em> could </em>, how long could he keep it up?! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Stop. </em>Phantom hands settled on his shoulders and his fear eased some. <em>She needs your help.</em> <em>Don't be afraid, let the Force guide you.</em> <em>Trust it. The two of you can do this.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his unease bleeding away into calm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Rey, I think I can help. I'm going to try something… </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Under normal circumstances, this would be beyond foolish. For his uncle it had meant the end of his life…his words still echoed in his mind and his presence, while fainter still surrounded him. He would choose to believe him, he wouldn't be afraid, not of this. After all, when it came to facing death, he would always choose to save her over himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben pushed his focus farther. He was not here, in this room, his body was, but <em> he </em> wasn't. He was with her, he always was, to imagine otherwise was denying reality. The path was easier to find than he'd thought, really it was just an extension of the bond they already had. Behind his eyes, the collapsed room was brought into sharp focus. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ben," Rey breathed in surprise and relief as he appeared before her. Her brow furrowed a moment in confusion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> I'm not dead. </em>" He told her (and himself) flatly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh, no I-" Rey smiled through her stress, "You just look different."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben didn't exactly have the time to ask what that meant; he could already feel the strain from what he was doing. It was somewhat divorced from this projection thankfully, but he could already tell he was going to seriously pay for this later, "<em> I'll rescue the wounded and bring them here. </em> " He told her, " <em> Then we can work together to move them someplace more stable."  </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could sense her approval of the idea. He was glad that she wasn't protesting the technique he was using, she likely wasn't pleased by it but she didn't have time to argue, he could feel the drain on her already. The weight of her task urged him to move quickly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hurried towards the collapsed doorway,  he didn't stop, even when one of the delegates called out, demanding to know who he was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> The Jedi called me </em> ," he snapped at her as he cleared the debris with a flick of his hand, " <em> If she wasn't here you'd all have died. You should consider that </em>." He ignored whatever she said after that it was less than unimportant right now.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Ben moved as quickly as he could down and at times <em> through </em> the walls of the broken hallway. He could feel Rey's power above him, stretched taut like a net holding some powerful beast, ready to rip free and slaughter anyone in its path the moment you started to slip.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>He already knew he was too late when he reached the first group. There had been three signatures here, swatches of color ebbing and flowing in the Force slowly desaturating and then vanishing all together before he'd even arrived.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had been workers here if their uniforms meant anything. Two men and one woman. Regret sat heavy in his stomach, if he'd been a little faster maybe he could have at least eased their pain so they didn't suffer... </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was no time to waste on how he felt, they were gone and he could do nothing for them.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Pushing on he found the first real pair of survivors, only a short distance from the initial collapse. A mother and her son laying under a section of the collapsed wall. Ben hurriedly flung the stone and metal off of them. They were both badly injured, the extent of which was hard to tell visually. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman had a wide swath of blood running down her face from an unseen injury on her head and numerous cuts and scrapes of various severity bleeding down the rest of her body. Reaching out to touch her mind Ben registered the pain of several internal injuries, at the very least one of the poor woman's lungs had been punctured by a broken rib. The child was even worse than his mother, it was hard to tell if the blood that covered him was his, his mother's, or both. What Ben could see of his skin was horribly pale, his lips were tinged blue, and his breathing was short and labored. He wouldn't live much longer. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben cursed under his breath. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>With a single-mindedness, the injured woman tried weakly to push her son towards him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...Was this how his mother had felt about him? He'd only sensed her presence twice since his fall, once during the assault on her ship and once before the death of Kylo Ren… Both times there had only been forgiveness, only a plea for him to come home, a desire to help him so strong it nearly brought him to tears even just recalling it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...No, he would not sentence this woman to the loss of her son, nor her son to having to endure living on without her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He drew the living Force from himself and guided it to her wounds. He grit his teeth against a sharp pain in his side and helped the woman sit up before he moved his attention to her son. The mother burst into fresh tears when her child's pained breathing calmed and normalized, and color began to return to his cheeks. She wept harder in relief when the child opened his eyes and began to cry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Watcher bless you," the woman sobbed, holding her little boy, "You're an angel!" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben had no idea what an angel even was but he didn't have time to address it, "<em> You're both stable for the time being, but you will need medical attention. Follow the hall that way, it will take you to the Jedi, she'll protect you." </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The woman nodded and ran in the direction he pointed, clutching her crying son tightly, whispering thanks to her god under her breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben paused only long enough to feel his body cough and sense the phantom taste of something foul on the back of his tongue. He would need to stay quick and careful. Others would likely need assistance and he should only heal wounds when absolutely necessary. There were a lot of factors to keep track of here and he wouldn't want this projection to dissolve before he had a chance to find anyone else. He may have always had an uncommonly large well of energy to call on the Force with, but he was dangerously close already to crossing his limits...</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>He pushed ahead, making it to another group of employees. All four of them were still alive, trapped, and huddled in a pocket of clear space, where nearby equipment had taken most of the impact of the collapse. All were relatively unharmed, save for one man with a broken arm. The group watched in awe when he lifted the ceiling long enough for them to shimmy out before letting it down carefully. He quickly instructed the gobsmacked bunch on how to set and bind their companion's arm and then sent them on their way back to where Rey was. The last thing he heard was one of them shouting something unintelligible when his projection simply winked out of existence and appeared again on the other side of the debris and continued onwards.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>His final rescue was a young woman, Rodian, her panicked screaming leading him to a floor-level air duct. The grating was coated in a wet greenish-yellow starburst, filling the air with a sickening smell. The source lay buried in a partial collapse, what the individual had looked like, Ben would never know, the body was now unrecognizable, flattened under a slab of ferrocrete from the broken ceiling. He left it there, hidden from view when he pulled the girl out. Initially, she struggled against him hysterically, the swath of the same green blood and ichor splattered on her clothes, hands, and part of her face, painting a literal picture as to the source of her distress. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> Calm, </em> " the word became a suggestion when he touched her mind, " <em> You're safe now. </em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The panic in her large eyes faded, tears slipped slowly from them, first in relief, then in sorrow, "H-he, he saved me. He knew the ceiling was coming down and-" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She held tight to Ben's hand letting him lead her gently back to the main conference room. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ssyrj- He was my partner," she babbled, "We were gonna interview that Jedi negotiator for K-19. There was a bang and we ran and then he pushed me in the vent and-" she choked down a sob, "I used to think it was funny, a Trandoshan who wanted to be a reporter and now he's..." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> It was brave, what he did." </em> Ben told her softly, " <em> He made the choice to save you, don't let your sorrow make you feel guilty. He wouldn't want that." </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The young woman nodded and fell silent for the rest of their journey.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>In all Ben had found seven people alive. That was more than he'd been daring to hope. The woman and her son, the four office workers, and the young reporter.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>He'd no sooner ushered the Rodian to take shelter with the other survivors when the constant feeling of unease in the Force abruptly spiked to a fever pitch and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Something was wrong!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without even thinking twice, Ben ceased being where he was and popped back into existence just in front of Rey. He had only time enough to register her own look of alarm before a groaning grinding sound made the building shudder! The grind swiftly became a roar and Rey cried out in overexertion as the rubble above her lurched! She kept it from falling but some smaller chunks broke free of the Jedi's hold and crashed down dangerously close to the huddled civilians, who cried out in fear! Off in the distance, he could hear more terrible groaning and sheering sounds and felt the building shake again as more of it collapsed and caved in elsewhere.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben threw his own hands up to bolster Rey's hold, feeling how badly the tons of ferrocrete and metal fought against them, how badly it all wanted to fall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He heard Rey hiss in pain and saw with mounting concern that what had been a minor injury on her upper leg had worsened and it was beginning to bleed in earnest. The way the muscles trembled he realized that at this rate Rey would soon not be able to stand. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Ben," she said, quiet and firm, "We have to get them out of here. I don't know how much longer I can hold it."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> The halls are blocked again, the whole thing is coming down. I don't know if I can get them out. I don't know how much longer I can keep this projection up and if you pass out I'm done that much sooner." </em>Ben told her plainly, crushing down the rising fear inside of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey cursed softly, "What can we do? I can't move."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They stared at each other, a conversation of feelings and then concepts passing between them as they scrambled to hatch a plan. Any plan!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey's eyes sparkled in dark amusement, "Is that really our plan?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> That's all we've got and I refuse to leave you behind. </em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's a little insane."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> Just a little. But, it is us so… </em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey suppressed a laugh, "I suppose that's true." She took a deep breath, "Okay, let me focus, gather my strength, and-"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben let a <em> tiny </em> little fact he'd been hiding slip-free.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The collapsed ceiling jerked suddenly upward several feet and held steady, Rey surged upright, rage burning in her eyes, "They put you in a <em> cell?! </em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> Hold onto that anger, just for a moment, it will help sustain you a little longer. </em>"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Why didn't you-? I'm going to smack you!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em> And I completely deserve it. Let's get these people out of here first though, shall we?" </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Solo!" Rey shouted through clenched teeth as his projection winked out of existence.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a brief moment when he rejoined his physical body, Ben was very tempted to take Rey up on her unspoken offer of death.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instead of leaping up and sprinting as he'd intended, his legs refused to cooperate and he fell over, struggling to draw enough air into his burning lungs. He could feel blood dripping from his nose, taste it in his mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He <em> hurt </em> . Everywhere, everything. There wasn't an inch of his skin that didn't ache, not a fiber of muscle that wasn't screaming, Whills even his <em> hair </em>hurt!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We're bones capable of feeling pain? Right now he believed they were.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You can't wait, he scolded himself, you don't have the time and Rey doesn't have the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You did it before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The emperor was worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pit was worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her <em> death </em> was worse.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>GET UP!</b>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>With a pained grunt, he surged to his feet, taking time only to regain his balance and wipe the blood from his face with his sleeve. He flung his arm out and the door to his cell went sailing across the room and into a wall. Flashing emergency lights and alarms triggered immediately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sorry about that Dameron," Ben gasped, sprinting down the hall of the cell block, not knowing if the security cams picked up sound, "<em> That one </em> was my fault."</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Under normal circumstances, he'd want to take alternative routes and avoid people but that was not an option. Right now the fastest way was the most direct.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Security had been quick to respond and he'd already had to toss two hapless guards down a side hall, and one, a bit more violently than he'd have liked, into a closet. Hopefully, they weren't anything more than stunned…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could sense more on the way and took the next corner as tightly as possible. A young human woman, blaster in hand, yelped in surprise when she almost slammed right into him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's fine," he said quickly, directing the mind trick at her and the rest of her group, "he just went around this corner, it startled you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The girl blinked and turned to her companions, "I saw him! He went this way! Just startled me, I'm fine!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The other guards murmured words of encouragement and Ben darted easily past them as they rounded the corner, calling the supposed sighting into their coms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Ben… </em> Rey sounded beyond exhausted, <em> We're running out of time… </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm there!" He called out to her as he raced into the secondary hangar bay, "just 30 seconds tops!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With barely a pause he rounded on the small group of pilots and technicians.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<b>OUT</b>!" He ordered, throwing the full force of his will behind the order. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Some of the gathered crowd staggered and winced at the mental assault, but all obediently rushed to exit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without hesitation Ben thrust his arms towards the ceiling, closing his eyes and pushing all other thoughts and sensations from his mind, dedicating all his focus to the task at hand. There was no time for fear. Not time for panic or pain. He could deal with that later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> I'm here. </em> He called out to Rey, <em> Let me help. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her relief was palpable, the burden on her lessened and he felt the exertion press down on him as they shared the weight of hundreds of tons of debris.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> I'm with you. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her presence surrounded him, beautiful, golden, iridescent, warm like the sun. Just that alone calmed his heart and was a balm for his pains. Automatically he relaxed and a soft smile graced his lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She. He. <em> They </em>were a dyad. Distance, weight, effort, all those things were meaningless. These tons of stone, ferrocrete, and metal? They meant absolutely nothing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They lowered it as the air would lower a leaf. There was nothing to worry about, this <em> would </em>work. The instant the obstruction touched Rey's fingers, Ben felt the texture against his own. In that instant, she passed it off to him. In the very next her hand caught hold of his and she was yanking him back out of the way as the now displaced rubble crashed down onto the floor of the hanger. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Flawless.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Well, almost. Ben's landing wasn't as graceful as he'd wanted. Well, it wasn't a landing so much as it was falling over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No, that was it, he was done. Tapped out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As he lay there, eyes closed, cheek pressed to the soothingly cold floor; in his mind's eye, he could see her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rey had fallen to her knees, she was smiling softly in relief, the colors of the planet's early evening sun painting the curves of her face as she looked up at the sky from the clear hole above her where several floors worth of structure had been moments before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> We did it... </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Yeah, </em>Ben replied weakly, he felt like he'd been mauled by a rancor…He'd just rest here for a moment, just a second or two, then he'd limp back to his cell and pass out for a few millennia or so.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Are you alright? </em> Rey called to him, <em> you sound worse than I feel. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> I think so, </em> Ben managed, <em> that type of projection takes a very heavy toll. If you weren't with me I doubt I could have done it at all… </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> It was amazing, </em> Rey conceded with satisfaction, <em> we were able to save these people because you helped me. Maybe the representatives will be a little more open to talking properly after this. As soon as I can get up I'm going to com Poe, the sooner he knows about this the sooner this whole mistake can- Ben?! </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Dameron knows. </em> Ben knew this without looking, he'd probably been able to conclude that without the Force screaming like a klaxon that he was in danger. He figured he was the second he'd felt the barrel of the blaster against this skull.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Okay, he was going to try and get up now. Comfortable as the floor was, that was a very bad place to stay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dameron pushed the blaster harder against Ben's pounding head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ah, not getting up then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Don't move," the general ordered coldly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Can I at least sit up?" Ben rasped, ugh he sounded like garbage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shut up!" Dameron spat, "Say one word and I'll put a bolt right through your head! I know what you can do just by talking."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You don't-" Ben stopped immediately when a searing burst of light impacted the floor just inches from his face. Not good…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"That's the only warning you get."</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> Ben?! </em> Rey was still calling him urgently, <em> what's happening?! </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not having the strength to do much else Ben let his defenses fall so she could experience what he was. All he kept from her was the physical sensation, no need for her to feel how much pain he was in…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You nearly had me fooled," Dameron continued bitterly, "Being cooperative, not making trouble. I was almost going to argue with the New Republic that we keep you here," He punctuated his point by pushing the heel of his boot into Ben's back, "Whatever the kriff you were trying to pull here, I'm not going to let you finish it." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben thought almost hysterically that he was very lucky that the general liked to talk… longer he did the longer Ben got to literally keep his head so he'd let him go on as long as he liked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I wonder how revolting it was for you to pretend to play nice, just to save your own skin? I can't wait to see what the New Republic decides to do with your worthless hide. Execution is always an option, but I think I'm going to suggest imprisonment in the worst cell they have. One of those old ones the Empire made for Jedi. Just leave you in there alone to rot." </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ben could feel Rey's growing distress. Even if she had her com with her the only person who <em> might </em> pick up here on the ship was Rose, and what could she do?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could sense multiple people approaching. That must be security. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was it then… after all of that, all the struggling, all the trying, facing down the literal source of his family's suffering, being dead, or close to it, trying to be patient and wait for an opportunity to prove he truly did want to make things right- this was how his story ended.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was alright he supposed. He had no one to blame but himself in the end. He wasn't angry at any of them, not Finn, or Rose, or even Poe, only regret that he couldn't take back what he'd done to them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hoping for things to just present him with an opportunity to redeem himself had been a fool's errand anyway, and he'd known that no one would be so foolish as to trust him enough to give him one. So entrusting himself to whatever punishment he would get now was likely the only way to give everyone he'd wronged any peace.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>But, was that true?</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Ben blinked in confusion, that thought wasn't his… it wasn't Rey's either. It didn't have a voice or a presence, it was just <em> there, </em>and for some reason, he found he couldn't ignore it. It snatched his attention like a moth to a flame.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If they killed him or locked him away forever, would that truly satisfy? Would that fix anything?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No, probably not. He wished it would, if it did it would be so-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Easy?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His mother had said something like that, hadn't she? In that hazy memory where he'd been certain he was dead. She'd told him he was taking the easy way out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>… But…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he'd said he didn't want to run away again, wouldn't-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Was retreating to survive so you could take responsibility really the same as dying to avoid it? Which of those was truly running away?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Whatever had brought this thought on...was right…</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Today was a day of path-changing choices it seemed. He hated those, he was so bad at them…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Rey? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em> I have your back Ben, </em>Rey's presence whispered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sensed Dameron look up from him when the guards came racing through the door. That was his cue!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Sorry, Dameron!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The warmth of Rey's light surged through his veins and Ben shot to his feet. The general shouted and Ben heard him hit the floor when he was dislodged, that was all the warning he got before a burst of laser fire grazed his side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He ignored it, winding the Force tightly around the pain so he would feel nothing. He was running on scraps and Rey's gift, he couldn't afford to be slowed down! Running with a single-mindedness, he scaled the nearest slab of the ceiling in a few fractions of a second. He flipped it to stand upright with the Force as soon as he'd cleared it, blaster bolts striking the ferrocrete with sizzling pops.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sheer size and weight of the debris had unfortunately crushed several of the ships docked in the bay, but not all of them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes locked onto the closest ship, an old model X-Wing, and he made a beeline for it, flipping up another slap of debris as he went.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He nearly cleared the entire ship in a jump, catching hold of the cockpit glass and punching the release. The glass lifted with a hiss and he practically threw himself inside as soon as there was enough room. He ducked as low in the seat as he could, while the canopy closed -not easy when he was so blasted tall! - and narrowly avoided a shot taking his head off. He'd take being showered in sparks over that, thank you!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hadn't seen an X-Wing in over a decade, the last one was his uncle's, but the starter sequence hadn't changed in the slightest. He keyed it in as fast as he could. Distantly, over the thumping of blaster fire against the more reinforced plating of the ship, he could hear people shouting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kriff, they were trying to close the bay's main doors!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The time it took for the Wing to complete its launch sequence seemed to stretch into eternity.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doors, heavy and slow as they were, were nearly halfway shut and some of the security team had realized that he wasn't activating the ship's weapons and had decided to make a mad dash for X-Wings of their own to gun him down before he could launch! X-Wings were sturdy but they had nothing on the speed of acceleration or maneuverability like a Tai Fighter, this clunky thing was going to get him killed!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The controls on the ship went green and Ben literally punched them! The ship lurched forward as fast as the sequence would allow it to and he raced to input something, <b>anything,</b> into the hyperspace drive! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just go go go!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He grunted in pain as the ship accepted- whatever he'd put in- and the X-Wing snapped away into the nearest lane, the g forces shoving him hard against the seatback.</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Ben sighed in dizzy relief, fumbling blindly for the seat harness. His head felt so heavy, his eyes even more so… the adrenaline was wearing off and he'd used up the last of what Rey had lent him. He could still feel her presence in their link, it felt muted and hard to "hear" but it was there and that made him feel a bit better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His whole body hurt…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was so tired…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Would have been nice to have a flight suit… </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A helmet maybe…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...Did the ship have a full fuel cell…? ... supplies…?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>... He'd figure that out… later...just needed to rest his eyes first… just for a minute…</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>TBC</strong>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry but not sorry! It's time for the real work to begin! And just like in real life it involves hard work, blood, sweat, and tears, and being launched into the cold, dark, unforgiving vacuum of space!</p>
<p>I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As always let me know if there are any mistakes that I missed or tags that I should add!</p>
<p>Your feedback is super helpful and gives me creative fuel so I would love to know what you thought! Also, if you want to check out my artwork or even just say hello, feel free to stop by my art tumblr! Here--&gt; http://cc-sketchbook.tumblr.com or my twitter --&gt; @chaos_child</p>
<p>See you guys next time! ~ Much love, CC</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Crawling out of the Literal and Metaphorical Mud</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He leaned back against the tree, looking up through the dense leaves at some small feathered creatures pecking and prodding away at the things crawling along the branches. As far as places to begin his journey of self-discovery™ a swamp seemed almost poetic. Start crawling out of the figurative mud by crawling out of the literal mud. Or maybe it was the growing, nagging, feeling that his having ended up here wasn't an accident and an unnerving thought began to form in his head.</p>
<p>"If this is Dagobah," he firmly told the universe, "I'm out. I'll turn myself in, to the first Republic Officer I find."</p>
<p>"Fortunate for you then that this isn't Dagobah,"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Huzzah! Knocked this chapter out a lot faster than I thought I would, and it's 45 pages long! I hope you're ready for plot because HOBOY is there plot! </p>
<p>Chapter warnings include: characters getting triggered by past traumas, corpses, and dead children.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You've been taken by the wind</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You have known the kiss of sorrow</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doors that would not take you in</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Outcast and a stranger</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>[...]</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You have drunk a bitter wine with none to be your comfort</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You who once were left behind will be welcome at love's tables</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You have come by way of sorrow you have come by way of tears</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But you'll reach your destiny meant to find you all these years</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meant to find you all these years</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-- By Way of Sorrow, Cry Cry Cry</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Long long ago in a galaxy far far away…</b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Rey's heart didn't leave her throat until she sensed Ben gaining distance from the Resistance flagship. He'd lost consciousness and she could feel he was in a great deal of pain, but his injuries weren't life-threatening. That was a relief. She focused on her breathing, she needed to get herself to calm down, her body ached with exhaustion and her heart ached with sorrow and anger. She could mourn when they were out of here, it would do no good to burst into tears right now. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She still knelt in the center of the wreckage and it was a fairly apt representation of how she felt right now. Once again forced to be absent while those she cared about struggled and suffered, unable to help, only allowed to pick through the wreckage for something to salvage once it was over.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why had this happened? Ben had been helping her, without him, she wouldn't have been able to save all these people, this entire negotiation would have been over! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So why…?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was very clear that his confinement had been planned for when she was absent. Perhaps she could begrudgingly see the reasoning behind it were circumstances normal, but they were not. The idea was already in her mind and once it had been thought she couldn't unthink it; was her being sent here alone, without a negotiator, on purpose? Was it to slow the mission down? Give them time to send their captive to a Republic prison before she returned? Whills don't let that be true. The idea was so irresponsible and bordered on desperate, there was no way they had been willing to risk the collapse of two cultures and the potential deaths of millions just to incarcerate a single man. Right?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She'd caught bits and pieces from Ben when she'd been helping him make his escape. Poe mentioned the New Republic. Had he been the one to tell them of Ben's survival? Had they ordered him to do this? To ship Ben off into Republic custody? Had...had Poe volunteered this information? Proposed this idea?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The unfairness of it all churned in her stomach, most volatile of all was the pain of having been lied to, knowing that her friends did not trust her…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Master Jedi, are you well?" It was Jancait Herfcoff, the main negotiator and representative of the Sharem. She was a young human woman, likely even younger than Rey herself. The representative cautiously approached Rey, her fear from the earlier collapse of the building was still present but it was quickly becoming dominated by her awe, and she was swiftly regaining the bright if misguided, confidence that Rey had come to expect over these last few days.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes, are you alright, Master Jedi?" This time it was Abdar Joseric the representative of the Kinsy who addressed her. He was an elder human man with a steely disposition, hardly a surprise considering how jaded living through one war and then an occupation had left him. It was clear he cared deeply for his people, a shame his negative view of the Sharem got in the way of actually helping them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll be alright," Rey told them, "thank you for your concern."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"That was," the young representative began, "absolutely incredible! I had heard legends of the Jedi being able to work wonders such as that but I had never imagined…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes," the old man agreed, "I had heard the legends as well, but they do not prepare you for witnessing such sorceries."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This was the first time they'd actually agreed on anything and it was on something with nil to do with the negotiations…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Herfcoff nodded, "The sight of you and the spirit who answered your call, it was breathtaking. I hope I am able to describe it accurately, it is something that should be immortalized!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Huh?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Joseric gingerly rapped his cane on the floor in agreement, "Yes, such a moment should be preserved, as a monument to those lost so tragically."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It gladdens my heart that you agree Representative," Herfcoff said with a smile, "In the wake of your generous offer to provide such a monument I'm sure that will prove an ample beginning to restitution."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I beg your pardon?!" Joseric barked, "Restitution?!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course," the young woman said defensively, "for the destruction of this great meeting center!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"How dare you!" The old man cried, "You are suggesting that it was one of the Kinsy who performed this atrocity?!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Who else could it have been?! You are not seriously suggesting that one of the Sharem would cause such a tragedy in our </span>
  <em>
    <span>own </span>
  </em>
  <span>city?! In a building with our</span>
  <em>
    <span> own</span>
  </em>
  <span> people in it no less!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The two began to shout in earnest, eager to lay the blame on someone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms. She once more fought back the tears she wanted to shed, there would be time later to nurse her wounded heart. This issue first must be dealt with. This pointless squabbling, this crusade to assign blame; and for what? So someone could be punished because that was easier than facing the daunting task of rebuilding what had been so thoroughly broken? She was so sick of it...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Enough. Enough!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Enough!" Rey shouted, startling both delegates into silence, "It doesn't matter who did it!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both delegates scrambled to assert that, yes it did matter, but Rey would not have it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It does </span>
  <b>not</b>
  <span> matter," Rey stated again, voice firm, despite being exhausted, bloodied, and sat in the middle of the rubble, "If you want someone to blame, look in a mirror."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Master Jedi," Representative Herfcoff balked, "I assure you I had nothing to do with what happened here!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Neither did I!" Representative Joseric seconded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You two may not have armed whatever explosive was set here but you share the blame." Rey narrowed her eyes, "You are both here to represent your people in what was supposed to be a mission of peace and neither of you has been open to finding a middle ground where the most lives possible will be saved. All you've wanted from the start was for me to tell you that you are right and to approve of your hatred. You have done nothing to convince your leaders or your people that cooperation is what will save you, done nothing to calm the growing unrest or put a stop to violence before it starts." Rey gestured to the destruction around them, "As long as you continue to approach this with the intention of punishing each other then this will always be the result until no one is left!" She narrowed her eyes, "There was no reason for it to go this far you should be ashamed of yourselves."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of the delegates responded, both looked guilty at the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Lady Jedi?" Called a cautious voice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey looked past the representatives, just behind them the other survivors had formed a small group and we're cautiously approaching. The one who called out to her was a woman, older than herself by a good number of years, holding a small boy, who couldn't be older than a year or two, hiding his face against his mother's shirt. She was the first who had returned when Ben went to gather those who were hurt or trapped.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"My name is Mari, Mari Hawstra. I was- The angel," the woman pressed, "Your companion? He saved me and my son, he mended the worst of his wounds. I wanted to thank you. If you hadn't called him I," Mari fought back tears, "-I would have lost my baby."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey offered the woman a sympathetic smile, despite not having any idea what an angel was, it sounded like a compliment. Perhaps it was a kind of spirit? Like what Representative Herfcoff had said? "I'll tell him. But, he wasn't a spirit or anything like that, he's another Jedi," not precisely true, at least Ben wouldn't've said it was, but as far as Rey was concerned it was the truth, "He was using the Force to appear here, it's very taxing so he wasn't able to stay."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh goodness!" The mother cried, practically shoving the two representatives out of the way so she could crouch down beside the young Jedi, "That's why you're still sitting here! And you're bleeding! You poor thing! Please, let me help you up, you should rest on something more comfortable than the floor!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To Rey's great surprise she was quickly surrounded by the other survivors, they all wished to offer their assistance, a few even volunteering their knowledge of basic first aid, and no amount of assurance that she was alright would dissuade them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey had no choice but to give in and agreed to let them help her to one of the meeting chairs on the condition that Mari and anyone else with injuries, no matter how minor, sit in one as well. Her suggestion was met with what felt like a disproportionate amount of delight from the other survivors and they all gathered as close as they could to the young Jedi.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In short order Rey found herself caught up in a dizzying onslaught of expressions of gratitude and numerous questions from a young Rodian woman holding a hollo-recorder, nearly all of which pertained to her personal likes and dislikes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What- what was happening? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The appearance of the hollo-recorder broke the representatives out of their daze and they began to protest, after all, recording devices weren’t supposed to be in this meeting. The young reporter pointed out that there was no longer a meeting and rather that it was now the aftermath of a very important event and that was her solemn duty to interview those involved. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She then began to press and pester the two representatives. How would this event change their original stances? What words did they have to say to those who may have enacted this terrible deed? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey watched in dumbfounded awe as the two politicians scrambled to say something acceptable. The two were working together to build a statement that would condemn the act without accusing one another and already they were declaring that this had only made their resolve for a peaceful and mutual solution that much stronger!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How much of that was true Rey would have to wait and see, their emotions suggested that they certainly believed it, but a lifetime of prejudice was not so easily dismissed...then again, sometimes facing an emotionally jarring event could facilitate change much faster.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That it may have taken something this heartbreaking to convince these people to put their differences aside was depressing...if only it could have happened another way...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. All she could do now was encourage this co-operation and keep everyone calm until emergency crews arrived. She could already sense many people gathering around the immediate area, including Finn, his worry sticking out like a spotlight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once this was over they were going to talk, just Poe, and her. A very long talk, so she could find out just what the in the Whills had happened!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite herself, her thoughts reached out once more to Ben. Was he alright? He was alive but still unresponsive and she could only sense that he was moving farther and farther away… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another deep breath, she would keep herself steady, trust in the light. Whatever challenges lay ahead they would solve them together. She had to have faith in that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Ben's dreams were strange and fragmented. How many of them were visions and how many were simply the result of an injured body being fitful he couldn't say. He saw flashes of people he knew, Rey featured prominently, which was no surprise, she generally did, but there were others, Finn, Poe, Rose, and more who he couldn't identify. The one that finally woke him up was brief but jarring. For the life of him, he couldn't recall who it was only that they seemed familiar. They were small, he thought, and they didn't speak but he'd still felt that he could understand them…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben jerked awake, the pressure of something on his chest had him momentarily scrabbling until he realized it was the seat harness. He was still in the X-Wing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A sharp pain burst behind his eyes and he squeezed them shut and fell back into the seat. Well, almost. The ship's artificial gravity was off, so he floated a little just above the padded surface. He didn't remember turning it off...so the ship had done it itself, meaning it was running low on fuel… Oh. Great. At least the lack of gravity had taken any extra pressure off of his muscles, they hurt plenty when he tentatively flexed them but considering he'd felt like death warmed over when he'd been laying on the floor of the hangar, this was a significant improvement. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ben?</span>
  </em>
  <span> The urgent query, despite being in his mind, had been said just above a whisper. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He dared to crack his eyes open again, slower this time and was relieved that the faint lights of the control panel and the distant stars didn't try to stab him this time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Rey?" He croaked with a voice like sand grinding on glass.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, thank goodness!</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He found her relieved face just above his. The small space of the X-Wing's cockpit didn't allow for much more than just him, so her projection appeared to be kneeling just on the other side of the glass, standing out against the blackness and backed by the light of billions of stars. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was delirium brought on by the brain trauma he'd surely caused himself, but all Ben could think right now was that she looked absolutely breathtaking set against the whole of the universe…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A light blush covered Rey's cheeks and he realized he hadn't kept that thought to himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The young woman laughed and shook her head, </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's okay. You've been unconscious for close to three days now. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Worry filled her eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I kept checking on you, I'm not sure if you were delirious or if they were nightmares, but you were having a rough time of it.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her hand settled carefully against his forehead and Ben momentarily closed his eyes, enjoying how warm it was. He realized now that he was feeling a bit cold and fought back the impulse to shiver, lest he aggravate his muscles more than necessary.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You're not feverish anymore, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey sounded pleased, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I admit, I was a little worried. I'm glad you're safe, at least I hope you are.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Her eyes betrayed that her concern was not entirely gone and she confirmed it a moment later, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben? Do you know where you are? I can't see anything but you and I can only sense that you're very far away…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben risked tilting his head and glancing at the display panel, "I'm not sure," he admitted, "I don't recognize these coordinates… I didn't really have a destination in mind when I jumped." He furrowed his brow and squinted, forcing his complaining eyes to focus, "It looks like I came out of hyperspace maybe six hours ago? ... oh, I'm in orbit?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In a move that was terribly foolish of him, Ben twisted sideways to catch a glimpse below the ship. There was indeed a planet there, on the smaller side as far as planets went. He thought he saw cloud cover and dark reddish-green in large patches over the surface with duller patches between. That was all he registered before his stomach violently informed him that if he did not right himself this </span>
  <em>
    <span>instant</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was going to regret his life choices.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He all but threw himself back into his previously reclined position and kept still until his guts settled "There's a planet," he said with a grimace, "No idea which one though. I'll have to land on it soon though so I guess I'll find out."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey hummed quietly, still watching him with concern. After a moment or two, she spoke again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She waited until he made a sound of acknowledgment before continuing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Things are…</span>
  </em>
  <span> she shook her head and started over, </span>
  <em>
    <span>The New Republic knows you're still alive.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was a surprise, he'd thought they'd already known. All these months and the Resistance hadn't told them? Was that because of Rey? Or had this been a collective decision?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They're already looking for you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey hesitated a moment and her fear for him seeped through their connection, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Will you come back? If you tell me the coordinates we could come get you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"They're the ones who reported me," He held no animosity when he said that, just a simple fact, "Even if they weren't it wouldn't be right to ask the Resistance to hide me."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Then I can come to you, take the Falcon and-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Rey," he took her hand and leaned up enough to rest his forehead against hers, he heard her let out a trembling breath and she gripped his hand tightly. For a moment they stayed that way, and Ben felt thankful to the bone-deep exhaustion fogging his brain for momentarily keeping his anxieties at bay so that he could express his affection like this without worry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her heart was so big. She'd turn her whole life upside down to keep others safe, even if it caused her harm. She'd done it before and he knew she'd do it again. But, he'd come to realize that as noble as that sounded, it simply wasn't fair.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It's alright." He told her, "I will come back. Maybe not to the fleet but to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Always. I do want you with me but I can't ask you to leave your friends, they're your family and they love you. Making you choose like this is wrong." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey made a small sound of understanding and he could hear the tears she was holding back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I can't return until I know what to do, figure myself out." He told her, recent events had made this crystal clear to him, "What I was doing before wasn't working and I don't think it ever would have. It's not anyone's fault it just wasn't the right way." He stopped a moment to carefully consider his next words before adding, "And, there's something I want to tell you, in person."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His partner paused too at his addition, he could feel her wracking her brain for what that something might be. Eventually, she begrudgingly accepted that she'd just have to wait and nodded her understanding, briefly pushing her forehead a little harder against his before pulling away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You'll find what you're looking for, I know that you will. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She told him with confidence, despite her sorrow at their separation, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just promise you won't leave me in the dark? I understand what you need to do but you need to remember that you aren't alone and you don't have to be. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I promise you I will contact you at least once a day," Ben gently teased, "and I won't let my big head keep me from asking you for help if I need it."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You had better. If I have to come and get you because you didn't I'm going to be very upset with you!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I swear on my honor as a… My honor as your Dyad?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'll hold you to that, Solo. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey teased gently and sent him a burst of supportive feelings before her image faded away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite his uncertain circumstances Ben smiled, he felt better about his choice, even if it did still feel like the universe had forced his hand. Perhaps that's what he'd needed though, a kick in the pants as his mother had sometimes said.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. First thing was first, he needed to land this thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey was calling on the com.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe Dameron didn't need any fancy magic powers to know it was her. The timing gave it away, it was too soon after Solo had escaped for it to be anyone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll take it in my office," he told the officer at coms when she turned to inform him of the caller. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't catch what she said as he walked away, but that wasn't particularly important right now. He was in a foul mood and this wasn't going to help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Poe paused to heave a heavy sigh when he entered his office.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ha. His office. What a kriffing joke. This wasn't his office, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her's</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Aside from the occasional use of the desk, everything was exactly as General Organa had left it. Hell, he hadn't even touched the computer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The General had never kept many personal effects aside from what might be on her person, but even with the sparseness, you could still see her mark on everything in here.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sitting down at the desk Poe let the com sit silently for a moment while he mentally prepared himself for the conversation he didn't want to have.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pointedly ignored the drawer, small, thin, top right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Schooling his expression into something more acceptable, he activated the com. With a nearly inaudible sound the device booted up, its sensors quickly scanning him to create a projected image for the caller, and with a static-filled buzz, the small image of Rey flickered into existence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Poe</span>
  </em>
  <span>!" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah, it seemed they weren't even going to pretend at diplomacy this time…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Rey."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes narrowed, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Don't</span>
  </em>
  <span>," she warned, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I do not have the time, nor the patience to play a game of 'I know why you're calling but I'm pretending I don't'. What in the Stars happened?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe glared right back at her, why was it that every time they talked about anything serious they got into an argument? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm, I don't know. Why don't you ask Ren? And while you're at it you can tell me where he is."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey's expression went through a series of emotions, embarrassment, worry, guilt, and finally back to irritated, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>His name is </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Ben, </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>and you threw him in a cell!</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"He didn't mind,"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey looked like she wanted to smack him. He probably shouldn't rile her up, he'd seen what she could do, but he couldn't help it. How could she just assume he was the one at fault, as opposed to the guy who had committed literal </span>
  <em>
    <span>war crimes</span>
  </em>
  <span>!?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>You were going to hand him over to the New Republic!</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You know," Poe snapped, "you act like ignoring their orders is something I can just do. It may be in shambles right now but the Resistance still fights for the Republic. It might not always be in battle anymore but that's not the point. They contacted me to confirm that he was alive and I told them the truth. Did you want me to lie to them?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey's expression faltered, her annoyance giving slightly to her worry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Far as handing him over goes, I almost didn't. He was really close to fooling me, I'll give him that. But after what he did to my men and the hanger? Not a chance, he's done."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>You mean the debris?</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Rey sighed in frustration, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>He was helping me! You have to have been contacted by now, about the bombing on Crerino? That was the debris from the explosion, if Ben hadn't helped me move it somewhere else even more people would have died. Maybe even me.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe snorted, "He did it for you then. He doesn't care about anyone else."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>That isn't true,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" the Jedi protested, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben cares a </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>lot </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>more than he lets on. You have no idea how badly he wants to make things right!</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, well then I'm sorry," Poe drawled, "I didn't realize that the mass murderer felt bad! We should just forgive him! Oh, oh! Let's give him a medal too!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>That's not what I'm saying! I can't believe you, Poe!</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You can't believe me?! You're the one trying to-" he groaned, running a hand irritably through his short hair, "You're the one who isn't understanding. I watched him massacre an entire village on Jaku just to get to me. He led the assault on Crate that nearly wiped us all out!" His hold over his anger was slipping, but it was like trying to hold back a tsunami with a bucket, "Are the deaths and abductions of millions not enough for you? How about something close to home? How about what he did to his own family? Is patricide good enough for you? Or how about what he did to us, you know, your </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! That bastard tortured me, Rey, used his spooky space magic to ring out my brain like a sponge!" Poe could feel something burning at the back of his throat, even glossing over it like this, talking about the memory was too much, "What about Rose? She doesn't have any family left thanks to him, and he nearly killed her too! And Chewbacca, the guy was like his uncle, right? Or how about Finn? You were there when Ren nearly killed him, but you weren't there afterward. While you were on your magical quest you didn't have to sit by his bedside, wondering if he was going to wake up again!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At some point, without realizing it he'd risen from his chair, leaning over the com, shouting at the young Jedi. Even with the grainy image, he could see the hurt clearly on her face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>I haven't forgotten any of that. Neither has Ben. I know you don't understand what happened to him. What Snoke did to him, what the Darkside does…</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe clenched his jaw. The drawer, small, thin, top right, mocked him. "That's just an excuse. All of it. We all had horrible childhoods Rey and none of us turned out like he did. I don't care what kind of space magic you used on him, people don't pull 180s like that and become someone else."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"I know you don't understand and I know it's hard to explain how the Force can accelerate certain changes in people. But I don't understand why you don't trust me… He could have helped me, helped rebuild, you could have had the proof he's different, but you wouldn't let me. Now, he's run and can't come back because it's not safe...</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe let out a slow breath, "I know you don't see it but that right there is why. You're too close to this, too close to him. It can easily affect your judgment."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Poe he's not mind-tricking me, it doesn't work like that.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The general shook his head, "That's not what I meant. There are other ways to get you on his side, make you gloss over things because you only see what you want to. It happens when you're interested in someone."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>What are you implying?</span>
  </em>
  <span>" The young woman demanded, face alight with embarrassment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, spare me," Poe rolled his eyes, "I'm not blind. I've seen how you look at him."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey's cheeks darkened, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>That's not-</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It is. It happens to everyone but he's not just a bad choice you feel embarrassed about later. He's convincing you to forgive him for everything, all for a roll in the sheets, and you're falling for it!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>That's not even remotely- Jedi don't do things like that. We don't let attachments rule our judgment,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Rey looked like she was on the verge of tears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It hurt to see her like that, but this had gone on long enough, she needed to face the truth, "But that's what's happening Rey. Even if I'm wrong, can't you see why we might be worried that it is?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>You must think pretty lowly of me to think that I'd do something like that. That an idea that crude is enough to break your trust in me.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"We still trust you! Just not about this!" Poe snapped, temper hitting a peak, "You've got a history of making poor choices when it comes to him! You even turned yourself in and almost got killed- and yes Finn told me about that. It didn't stop when he was dead, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>dead you told us that yourself! He was dead for </span>
  <em>
    <span>months</span>
  </em>
  <span>! But he isn't now is he?! Did you think that we wouldn't find out you were the one to change that?! That we might not be able to just take your word for it afterward?!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn't have said that and it was no surprise that the call went dead right after he did. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Poe sighed, falling back in the desk’s chair. Stupid. He'd lost his temper again and had probably pushed her farther away from them and closer to that monster.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The desk drawer, small, thin, top right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His hands shook, even when he pressed his face into them. It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair as a rule, but this…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desk drawer, small, thin, top right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How could she just ignore everything Ren had done?! How could she think that there was anything he could possibly do to make up for what he'd done?! Aside from die and </span>
  <em>
    <span>stay </span>
  </em>
  <span>dead!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Desk drawer, small, thin, top ri-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe yanked the drawer open so violently it almost came out of the desk. With equal force, he all but slammed the little holo display onto the desk's metal surface.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If he wasn't careful he'd break it. He should break it. He hoped he hadn't broken it… Perhaps it didn't seem like much, and given what it contained, perhaps it wasn't. But for Poe? For him, it was a black mark. A sign that their hero had her own skeletons. A sign that it would always have ended up this way, that they never stood a chance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The little device lit up and projected the picture it contained. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Smiling up at him, caught partway through a joyful laugh, was a child. Pale round face, cheeks red, a messy mop of black wavy hair on top of his head, sparkling brown eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben Solo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No, Kylo Ren, just not yet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finding the carefully kept snapshot had been an accident and honestly, Poe wished he'd never found it… Maybe then he could pretend that their current situation hadn't been the end goal all along. General Organa had kept this photo of her son, glaring proof that she'd never given up hope that she might get him back. Even after every unspeakable thing he'd done, even though he wasn't even a child anymore, she would have welcomed him back with open arms. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wouldn't have given him up to the New Republic… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She probably would have tried to spare the rest of them any backlash by taking her son with her somewhere else. Abandoning them in the process, for him…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn't fair…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe had stared at the picture several times since finding it. Looking for answers maybe? Studying it for signs in the little face that Ben was already an irredeemable monster hiding in human skin, or that he would soon become one. After a while Poe had noticed something, maybe; behind those eyes was something else, but it wasn't what he'd been hoping to see. It wasn't cold calculation or eyes like a predator. No, behind his eyes the child looked...tired. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That wasn't what he'd wanted to see!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Because if it was, if it was the same haunted look he'd seen in the eyes of his friends and soldiers...that he'd seen in his mirror...then… Then this wasn't a monster. This was a person who'd needed to be saved but hadn't.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So what...what was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to feel?! How could a </span>
  <em>
    <span>child </span>
  </em>
  <span>have eyes like that?! What he'd gone on to do as Ren, how was he supposed to forgive that? How could he accept that?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe lay his head in his hands. He hated this. Hated the tears that slid silently down his cheeks and through his fingers. He had to figure something out, he needed to stay strong for the people he led. They looked to him for answers and he needed to have them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Landing while easy to say had not proved easy to do. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The planet Ben had been orbiting turned out to be almost exclusively swamp. Finding an open space to land between the trees had been exceptionally difficult. Said trees were wide and twisted, with fat trunks and spindly branches, thick with leaves, a dark green, nearly black, covered in rust-colored flecks, reaching out to cover as much space as possible, and said branches were subsequently covered in vines and mosses and all other manner of flora, each vying for sunlight.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In the end, he'd been forced to settle for an unpleasant patch of damp red clay when the UI began beeping in warning that his fuel reserves were all but gone. It was barely visible through the trees, and the X-Wing broke several branches during its rocky descent, landing- well closer to impacting really, with an audible </span>
  <em>
    <span>plop</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the aforementioned clay. Then of course it slid an extra couple of yards into a tree when Ben disengaged the thrusters-- because why wouldn't it? --and he got jerked around in his seat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His stomach did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>approve and he almost didn't get the cockpit open in time when it heaved and he threw up over the side of the ship. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lay there slumped over for several long minutes, making pitiful groaning and whining sounds, not entirely unconvinced that the only thing left in his aching body was his soul. And even then…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, then his stomach had the absolute </span>
  <em>
    <span>gal</span>
  </em>
  <span> to announce that it was hungry and leave him there trying not to gag because of how much it hurt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thanks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, he did haul himself out of the ship and meandered around the immediate area, trying to get a feel for where he was. It was a bit harder than he would have liked, no surprise that walking hurt and left him weary after only a short time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He settled down a few yards from the ship at the base of one of the larger trees. He'd only been awake for an hour, maybe two, and he already wanted to go back to sleep… Maybe a nap wouldn't hurt? No, that wasn't a good idea right now. He could rest but he couldn't go back to sleep until he either knew where civilization was, or found some food, water, and temporary shelter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The X-Wing wasn't going to be a viable option for long, it very likely had a tracker of some sort in it and even if he could find and remove it without tools it had no fuel and thus would be going exactly nowhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This place wasn't ideal for a camp either, the air in the swamp was bordering on sweltering and it was so humid he could already feel his shirt sticking to his skin, whenever night fell it would either become a cold rain or a damp chill and he didn't particularly want to sleep in anything like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned back against the tree, looking up through the dense leaves at some small feathered creatures pecking and prodding away at the things crawling along the branches. As far as places to begin his journey of self-discovery™ a swamp seemed almost poetic. Start crawling out of the figurative mud by crawling out of the literal mud. Or maybe it was the growing, nagging, feeling that his having ended up here wasn't an accident and an unnerving thought began to form in his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If this is Dagobah," he firmly told the universe, "I'm out. I'll turn myself in, to the first Republic Officer I find."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Fortunate for you then that this isn't Dagobah,"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben jumped and then hissed in pain, "Ow! Don't do that…" he looked warily to his left where indeed the blue translucent image of his uncle had taken a seat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Seems projecting injured you more than I was expecting.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben coughed in disbelief, "How could I not be! You're far more skilled and you d-!" His mouth snapped shut, the reality of what he'd been about to say and who he'd been about to say it to abruptly sank in and guilt welled up in his stomach. He wanted to be sick again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>You can say it," </span>
  </em>
  <span>Luke told him, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I did die, nothing will change that. But, just because my body doesn't exist anymore doesn't mean I'm gone.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I know," Ben, whispered, he felt hot and cold, he clenched his hands so they wouldn't shake, stared resolutely at a spot on the ground, "But it's my fault… My mother lost her brother and Rey lost her teacher, I deprived everyone of their hero, and-."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His uncle's spectral hand touched his shoulder and to his mortification, Ben visibly flinched and jerked away. He desperately looked at the older man like he might find some reason why he could no longer stop his shaking nor the tears that spilled down his cheeks. When Luke's presence had surrounded him in the cell he'd felt confident and sure of what he needed to do, why did this simple touch provoke such an extreme response?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>You're afraid of me,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" His uncle's voice carried a deep sorrow and even deeper guilt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The tears came faster, "Yes," Ben choked out the admission, to himself as much as his uncle. He'd masked it in anger and hate as Kylo, but once the words had been said, the truth of it could not be denied. He was afraid of Luke, he always had been. Of disappointing him, of being hurt by him, of having hurt him, of having to face him again, of being hated, of being punished.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Luke reached out again but hesitated. Ben didn't hear him move but a moment later the older man was situating himself in front of his nephew. He held his hand out again but did not touch him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>I failed you,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Luke said sadly, just as he had on Crate, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>There is nothing I regret more, Ben.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It's my own fault…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Not all of it,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" his uncle said firmly, "Your mother, your father, and myself, w</span>
  <em>
    <span>e bear the responsibility of not seeing how much you were struggling, not giving you the help you needed. That is our burden, not yours.</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Luke offered him a kind smile, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I'd like to help you now. If you'll let me. Not  because I'm your teacher, but because I'm your family, as I should have from the start.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben finally managed to lift his gaze to his uncle, it took him several long minutes before he took the offered hand, squeezing tight enough that were the other man still alive it would surely have been painful. But if he didn't cling that tightly he feared he'd bolt again. All his uncertainties clawed at his insides, he wanted to scream, and cry, and break until there was nothing left. What if he simply wasn't strong enough? Too much of one thing and not enough of another? Destined to fail before he started? Doomed to be only a prize for one side or the other? A tool. An ornament. A pet…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His uncle called his name again and he knew he'd failed to keep those feelings from bleeding out into the open where they could be read clear as day. Luke's hand still gripped his tightly but he'd reached out the other towards his nephew's face, but as before did not touch him, it was only an offer, Ben had to choose if he wanted or not.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was that consideration that gave him the strength to admit that his want of affectionate touch hurt more than his fear of it and Ben pushed his cheek against his uncle's translucent palm, "I'm sorry." He whispered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>"</span><em><span>So am I,</span></em><span>" Luke brushed some of his nephew's tears away with his thumb but otherwise did not move his hand, "</span><em><span>I was blind to how you felt, to what you needed to hear from me.</span></em> <em><span>We should have had this conversation the first day you came to train with me." </span></em><span>He waited until Ben looked at him before he continued</span><em><span>, "Ben, you have so much of them in you, your mother, and your father, but that's not who </span></em><b><em>you</em></b><em><span> are. You are their son and you are my nephew, you struggle with your temper in the face of unfairness and you withdraw from others when you're upset, you also have a gentle heart and deep empathy for others. You are Ben Skywalker Organa Solo, and that name can mean whatever you want it to. The only thing it ever needed to remind you of is how much your family loves you."</span></em></p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben cried. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cried like he had the first night he'd been away from his parents when he was only 10 and just like that night his uncle lent him his shoulder and sat with him until he had no tears left.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          When he eventually lifted his head, however later, Ben found he actually felt better. Not completely but like he'd been able to drop a portion of the weight he was struggling to carry. Had that really been all he'd needed? To hear those words said out loud? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank you, Uncle Luke," he said hoarsely, "For everything." It was the first time he'd called him that in over 15 years...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His uncle patted his back gently, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>You don't need to thank me, kid. I told you I wanted to help you and so I will. You just need to tell me what it is that you want to do."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't know," Ben admitted, "I'm not even sure what I want…" he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his next words would be difficult to say, "I want to fix what I've done but there's no way to undo it. I... don't think I really deserve to be forgiven but I can't stop hoping that maybe someday someone will tell me how." He looked pleadingly at his uncle, "But even if they did I honestly don't think I could forgive </span>
  <em>
    <span>myself</span>
  </em>
  <span>, how could I? I...I don't know what to do..."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To his surprise, Luke hummed thoughtfully, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I believe I understand. You're looking for atonement, not forgiveness, without it you can't move on. You can't begin to help others when you're struggling with the fear that it could never be enough or that it could all happen again. Does that sound right?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben nodded. That was more or less it wasn't it? Much as he guiltily wanted other's forgiveness he'd accepted that he may never get it. What he was struggling with was being able to live with himself, and if he couldn't do that then he couldn't ever really do anything to help anyone else could he?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Then I'll convene with the other spirits of the Jedi,"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben blinked and stared at his uncle. He would what?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Luke laughed at his dumbfounded expression, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Did you think none of us spoke to each other? Maintaining the self after the body is gone is difficult, not many Jedi can do it, you know that firsthand, but there are others and we do converse with one another quite often.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben pushed down a sudden burst of curiosity about what one actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>did on</span>
  </em>
  <span> a daily basis as a… Well, a ghost was pretty apt, wasn't it? But, now wasn't the time to ask and somehow he had a feeling that Luke wouldn't tell him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>There are others in the Force who have been where you are. Others from times long past who know a great deal more than myself. They may know how to help you. Until then it is best that you try to trust in the light however you can. It knows what you're looking for and if you allow it, it will try to show you the way."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was easier said than done, but he would do his very best. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Uncle Luke?" Ben asked, a sudden question popping into his head, "How are you here? This planet isn't particularly strong with the Force, neither was the Resistance ship."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Now that is an interesting question isn't it?</span>
  </em>
  <span>" His uncle mused, looking entirely too much like he knew some secret Ben didn't and was taking great pleasure in that fact, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>You have your connection to Rey to thank for that.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He did? Wait, did Rey call his Uncle? She'd done similar with her battle meditation before when…when he'd lost her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Luke, sensing his nephew's sudden distress took pity on him and clarified, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Your bond is what's causing it. I've only read about a Dyad in the context of a myth, as far as I could find only one other had ever been recorded.</span>
  </em>
  <span>" He smiled warmly, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>The Force is drawn to the two of you, it's incredible to see. In the last few months, it's gotten even stronger, you're practically living breathing vergences. It's what's allowing me to appear here and what's allowed you both to use such taxing techniques without risking your lives.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben looked down at his hands with open awe, as though he might see the Force itself moving around them. What his Uncle had told him sounded almost impossible. What did this mean for him and Rey? What else might they be capable of if they and their connection became even stronger? It was almost frightening.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A thought crept into the back of his mind, an image of drifting red leaves… Maybe it would be alright. He'd address it in the future, one problem at a time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Does that mean I'll see you more often?" He asked his uncle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Master Jedi smiled, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>I would like to visit you, yes. If I am welcome."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben nodded, he was still nervous and unsure, but a larger part of him longed desperately for his family. If his uncle could appear then perhaps... maybe he could see </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, at least one last time, so he could tell her how sorry he was, beg her forgiveness…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You are. I…I'm glad you came to talk to me and I would be honored to be your student again. If you'll have me." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Luke had already said he wanted to help him, but Ben couldn't stop himself from offering an out, in case his Uncle had come to his senses.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With an affectionate huff, his uncle gently rapped him on the head, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Don't put words in my mouth kiddo. You never stopped being my student, no matter what that slimeball Snoke told you."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How strange that such simple words from his uncle could make him feel a spark of pride.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank you," Ben told him again, "I mean it, truly." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Luke chuckled and rose to his feet, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>You're welcome Ben. I'll have you back on track in no time, Padawan. In the meantime, take care not to push yourself too hard. The Dyad may have supported you but you're still injured in ways that aren't readily apparent."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben huffed a quiet laugh of his own and offered a bow the best he could from where he still sat, he always had preferred when his uncle had been playful instead of overly serious, "I look forward to it, Master Skywalker."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he looked up again Luke was gone, an echo of his amusement all that remained. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He needed to leave too, the longer he stayed the greater his odds of getting caught.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rising gingerly back to his feet he returned to the X-Wing, opening its small cargo compartment to see what it contained. Unfortunately, it wasn't much; a canvas shoulder bag, maybe a couple of days’ worth of rations if he ate modestly, an empty canteen, and an emergency blanket. There were a few other things, spent energy cells for a blaster, an </span>
  <em>
    <span>empty</span>
  </em>
  <span> first aid kit, a strange amalgam of string and metal that was probably a good luck charm of some kind, and…a lone fork for some reason…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A first aid kit would have been nice. He'd have liked to check on the graze he'd gotten from Poe's blaster. It didn't hurt as much anymore, no more than anything else anyway, mostly it was just itchy where the scab brushed his shirt. Seemed he'd been lucky again, hopefully, it wasn't infected.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looked at his reflection a moment in the cockpit as he passed. The first thing he was going to do when he found civilization was to take a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bath</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There was still some dried blood on his face and his hair was already starting to surrender to the humidity and cling to his head like a depressed cephalopod. If this were any other location he'd consider just washing off here but there was no way he was going to splash any swamp water on his face, absolutely not!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Resigned and resolute, Ben turned towards the swamp. Briefly, he closed his eyes and gingerly cast his awareness out around him, the action, unfortunately, came with a sharp pain up the back of his skull, but considering what he'd survived it wasn't entirely unexpected. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Again he felt that faint tug of something in the distance. Yeah, his being here was no accident. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Alright then," he told the audient void, "Let's go find what you want me to see."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>          Over the years Ben Solo had tried not to have too many preferences. Experience had taught him that you rarely got what you wanted and so if you just never cared one way or the other you could never be disappointed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This swamp was pushing the limits of his indifference and might in fact make it onto the very small list of places he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The humidity had been bad enough already but it reached such a point by mid-day that it felt like trying to breathe a heavy soup and it only made the horrible heat worse. The air was full of irritating swarms of little biting insects which seemed to have decided that he was delicious. No matter how many swarms he killed there were always more. There was also a persistent </span>
  <em>
    <span>smell</span>
  </em>
  <span>, like something spoiled and rotten (which it probably was) that he kept catching periodically. He mostly endeavored to ignore it, but given his state of feeling generally unwell, Ben found himself gagging when the stench took him by surprise. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then there was the matter of the literal soup of the swamp water. He'd tried his very best to avoid it but that had proved impossible. There was very little, if any, solid ground, the various fallen trees, and large rocks were slippery, and his boots didn't provide nearly enough traction. So, Ben had eventually resigned himself to going barefoot, stowing his boots in the canvas bag. It was for the best anyway, getting his only pair of footgear drenched in a place where they wouldn't ever dry out would become a breeding ground for fungi and disease. He would not suffer the embarrassment of having died from foot rot, thank you very much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In better circumstances, he would have just used the Force to propel himself from rock to rock, or even to skip along the water's surface, but right now he was channeling what he could into his endurance. Despite his promise to take it easy (and he was. He was!) He couldn't take longer than necessary to get to wherever it was the Force was trying to take him, he simply didn't have the supplies or the overall strength to make do without them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So no matter what he did it was lose, lose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben paused, knee-deep in brackish water, (trying not to think too hard about why the surface might have an iridescent oily sheen to it…) something very large had just brushed past his leg. Its presence rippled through the Force, an odd shade of greenish magenta, and it was simple to tell that it was easily several times his size, width-wise, sliding around the muddy bottom like some horrible rug.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could just make out the rough shape of the thing when it made a slow circle around him, impressions of scales and a wide flat head full of short sharp teeth. It rolled slightly and a massive sickly yellow eye broke the surface and peered at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They regarded one another for a few moments of silence. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't even think about it," Ben told whatever it was, flatly, when it leisurely moved a little closer to him, "you might be the alpha predator here, but I promise you I will kill you very very dead if you try to eat me." He glared at the alien lizard, "And I'll probably eat you out of spite."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The thing looked at him for a little longer before it seemed to get the hint and pulled back and floated off a safe distance. Ben continued his path through the expanse of water, aware that the beast had not left, and was still gliding along slowly parallel to him. It didn't seem to be making any move towards him, but it also wasn't leaving…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This continued for several minutes and Ben began to wonder why.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well...it wasn't just sentient species who had a sensitivity to the Force, all creatures did. He'd read of some that were especially strong, like the nearly mythical, massive wolves, on a planet called Lothal. Perhaps this creature was aware enough to tell that something was different about him? Or his presence in the Force was so jarringly obvious that even something with minimal awareness could sense it?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben stopped and stared at the massive eye staring back at him...he had an idea. It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea. But...let it never be said that he wasn't his father's son, willing to take big risks for a big payoff!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Or maybe he was just an idiot.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not taking his eyes off the thing, Ben rearranged his pack to sit higher up on his body, so it wouldn't get wet, and slowly crouched down, ignoring the unpleasantness of his pants getting wet. Cautiously he extended his hand towards the creature, watching it drift closer until his hand was hovering just over the flat of its head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"If you bite off my hand…" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lowered his hand into the water, feeling the rough pattern of scales under his palm. The physical contact facilitated a mental one and his mind touched that of the beast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>It was old. It had no name, no concept of what that even was. It had hatched, small, with many others, had dwelled in the safety of its mother's massive jaws until it was large enough to avoid being food. Its days were spent sunning in what weak light there was, or lurking in the water waiting to ambush prey. It was large enough, old enough, that there was no longer anything that could harm it.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Except… </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Except. </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>An earlier time, a recent time. It had met with others of its kind, all drawn to the scent of blood, much blood, strange blood. The meat was strange, different, it had no real opinion, it had no opinions at all, but it had registered as new, never before encountered, and that was as close as the creature could come to curiosity.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>It had returned to that spot several times when the scent of blood returned to the water.  It didn't understand time really but, it was, regular? Occasionally after many times of light and dark the smell and strange meat came back.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Then, something else new, strange, had happened. </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>It was gathered with others of its kind in the area, all waiting for the new meat. So many of them together sparked several small fights, tension was high. Then the smell of the meat came, but this time there was movement also! Spurred on by hunger and aggression it and its kin had made to snatch at the movement!</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>There had been a cry, a creature it had never heard before, and there was more new blood in the water as it was pulled apart.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>...then there were more sounds, loud, and bright light, then pain on its flank. For the first time since the creature had become large, it felt fear, there was danger! These new things, in different colors and patterns, loud sounds, all on two legs. These creatures caused harm! Even in its frenzy for food, it was aware enough to realize that one of its kind had been killed and that the two-leg creatures had killed it.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>The beast had retreated and had not returned to the spot where the strange meat was.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>It had not seen any other two legs since then, until today. This strange two-leg, out in the water by itself. It was...curious? It did not understand the concepts and images it was currently seeing when the two-leg touched it, but it did not cause fear like the other ones had.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>It... wanted…? It wanted not to smell the strange blood in the water again. It would...like? The new meat to be gone...?</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben inhaled sharply, breaking the connection to the massive reptile. Okay, that had been strange, reliving the experience of a mind very much not like his own, and...had-had this thing just asked him to get rid of, what was clearly some humanoids dumping bodies, or parts of bodies, in the swamp?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It had, in whatever way something like this could.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well then.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cautiously Ben righted himself and reached out with the Force to brush the creature's mind, "Show me where."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The large eye slowly blinked then sank again under the water and the shape made a slow turn and headed off at a pace that Ben could keep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They traveled for at least two hours, Ben wasn't sure of the exact amount, it was an odd experience to be sure. Whatever temporary understanding the beast had gained when their minds had touched was still holding true, it hadn't behaved aggressively in the slightest and even waited patiently when Ben had to frequently stop and rest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You need a name," Ben told the thing during one such break, while he munched on a ration bar, "I'm not going to keep calling you "lizard" in my head."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The lizard said nothing, obviously, and continued to float.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm going to call you...Bruce."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bruce said nothing, obviously, and continued to float.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The whole time Ben still hadn't seen Bruce's body, whenever he crossed one of the rare patches of soggy ground, the creature dove down, kicking up an even thicker cloud of mud and sludge, disappearing into an underwater passage of some kind. When Ben made it to the other side and stepped back into the muck Bruce would reappear nearby, like a shadowy specter, and continue leading the way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben knew they were close to the spot, even before he saw it. The air had gone very still and quiet, the movement of small ground creatures and birds was absent. A new smell was in the air, a cloying almost herbal sweet rot, that struck something animalistic and primitive in the back of Ben's brain, something that screamed that death stalked hungrily in this place.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bruce swam to the narrow entryway into what might be called a grotto, in a much nicer place. However, it did not go any further. The eye popped above the water again and eyed Ben as the human stepped past it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank you for showing me the way. Whatever's here, I'll get rid of it." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was no way Bruce understood the words, but hopefully, it understood the feeling they expressed. The beast stared a moment then the eye slipped back into the water and was gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>           Only a short way into the area, Ben had to brace himself when a full-body shiver wracked him and all the small hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This place was </span>
  <em>
    <span>saturated</span>
  </em>
  <span> with the Darkside. Not in the way that some locations just naturally exuded an aspect of the Force. In reality, not many places did, the majority of the time what caused a location to gain an affinity was due to powerful events that occurred there. The Darkside specifically gravitated to places painted with fear, hate, suffering, pain, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>death</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This place had the last in spades and was well on its way to becoming a beacon for the dark if nothing was done.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For a brief but agonizing moment, Ben wanted to run. He could feel the darkness clutching at him, the unsettling feeling of being seen. Of being </span>
  <em>
    <span>recognized</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You walked with us before, child of light. Let us in… let us in…oh I will drown you sweet thing...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No. Not now and never again. Even if he was still plagued by his fears he still wouldn't go this way and he could not be forced to. He'd wanted a goal, a task, and this was what he'd been given: this place is sick. Fix it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stealing his heart Ben moved into the clearing proper. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The first thing he saw was the bones. Large, discolored and picked clean. Sticking up out of the swamp-like disjointed teeth. These must be the remains of the other massive reptilian creatures he'd seen in Bruce's memory. The ones who had not survived the blaster fire.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was because he'd relived those experiences, but he felt sorry for them. They were animals true and not a whole lot was going on inside their heads, but they'd been living things, simply following their instincts and gathering where they thought there was food. Self-defense in normal circumstances or putting down something that was an active danger to others was one thing. This was another. So many of these were killed out of spite, he could tell by where their bones lay, clustered at the entrance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben moved past them, there was nothing he could do for them. If he wanted to keep this from happening again he needed to search this place for any signs as to who had been here and where they had gone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Prevent anyone else from-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nearly tripped when his foot caught on something. Whatever it was he'd managed to get it snagged around his ankle. It almost felt like a-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His cry of alarm was cut off nearly the instant he uttered it as he was yanked down under the water! To an outside eye, it might have looked like he'd just fallen out of the world, the murky surface didn't even ripple where he'd been.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It was cold… Very cold.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The water around him was </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>freezing</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>, it stung at Ben's eyes when he opened them. It was futile though, all around him was pitch black not a single sliver of light.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Despite the numbing cold, he could still distinctly feel the </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>hand</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> wrapped tight around his ankle, pulling him downward. He could feel others too now, snatching and grabbing at his limbs, face, and hair!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The sound of the water rushing past his ears seemed to take on a vocal quality. Screams and cries, scraps of sounds and words. All so small. Desperately searching for someone to help them! They screamed and screamed until they blended together and became a single unrecognizable noise that tore at his mind! Too much all at once, his nerves, still raw and damaged, burned in agony at the intrusion!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Instinct demanded that he panic and Ben fought hard against it, the little rational thought he could manage was only that if he panicked he would drown. He needed to keep calm and free himself.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Twisting himself he reached down, groping blindly for the hand that was dragging him. It was small, much smaller than he'd thought, and so very cold.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Lost and so afraid.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He covered the little hand with his own and gently pried it free. Rather than let go he instead gave it a careful tug. The hand gripped tightly back, it wanted to follow, his offer was wanted so badly but it was stuck. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No, you don't have to be. The darkness can only keep you if you let it. Let go. I've got you, I won't let you get lost!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>         Ben rolled to his side, face breaking the surface! His lungs burned and he coughed and choked, drawing desperately needed air into them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thoroughly drenched he dragged himself to the bank, hauling his heavy body onto the discolored grass, clutching his precious cargo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I've got you," He gasped, "You're okay now. You're safe."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The words perhaps were meant more for himself than for what he carried, but still, he couldn't stop himself from saying them. Repeating them softly, over and over until his breathing returned to normal and he could finally stand to look at what he held so close.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The tiny little hand still clutched his, what remained of the upper body held in his arms. The bones of a human child. All that was left.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben lay there for a long time, looking at the bones, shaking despite the heat. The little one must have been Force-sensitive to have imprinted such memories on this place. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Careful laying the bones down, Ben mentally prepared himself to get back in the water. He wasn't done yet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Trudging back out into the water he drew a deep breath and plunged down again. The water was too shallow to allow for what had happened moments prior but still deep enough that it went over his head when he reached to feel along the bottom.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben quickly dug through the layer of mud that covered the bottom, beneath it lay a thick tightly woven layer of roots, thick gnarled ones with thin filaments filling in the gaps like an organic net. He forced his way through that layer and plunged his arm down into the cold empty blackness below. He reached as far as physically possible, his shoulder pushing hard against the nest of roots, and farther still he reached with the Force. Something smooth pressed into his hand and he seized it, quickly breaking the surface again and wading back to the bank to deposit the bone with the others.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Rose cursed softly under her breath. For the fourth (fifth?) time now she'd grabbed the wrong size fastener from her toolbox. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was down on the lower decks near the engine room, replacing the coverings for the many junction boxes that were nestled between the veritable maze of pipes and wires. They didn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be replaced, but given their previous circumstances, none of the crews had had the time to spare marking down when they'd made repairs or changes so it was better safe than sorry!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The young mechanic sighed, who was she kidding? She didn't need to be down here, she'd gone over just about every system in this ship at least twice. It was as up-to-date and up to code as it could possibly be right now. All of her teams were great at their jobs, she'd picked them herself, there wasn't any reason to go over work that had already been checked and double-checked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A loud </span>
  <em>
    <span>ping </span>
  </em>
  <span>rang out and the fastener she'd been obsessively tightening reached its breaking point and snapped in half, the fragments clattering away down through the floor grating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rose whined and thunked her head against the metal panel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What was she doing..?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, she knew full well what she was doing, she hadn't survived as long as she had without having learned to pay attention to what was going on in her head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was hiding.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Which was silly because the people she was hiding </span>
  <em>
    <span>from</span>
  </em>
  <span> weren't even on the ship. Save for Poe. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want him to thank or congratulate her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The worst part was that she still understood why it had needed to be done. She hadn't been here when Ben, Kylo, whoever he was now, had returned. She didn't know how it had happened and it seemed that both Poe and Finn didn't have all the pieces, but what they did know had left them unsettled. Whatever it was had reduced Rey to an even worse state than she'd been in when she'd returned from Exogal. By all accounts, she should have been dead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So it was perfectly sensible to want to keep an eye on her, to make sure she was alright. Not just physically, but mentally, to be certain that she wasn't being tricked by Kylo Ren playing possum. She easily could be, Rose knew the look of a person smitten when she saw it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But, Rey wasn't the only one. Rose had seen how Ben looked at Rey when the Jedi wasn't looking. A look of the same longing but also full of sorrow. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She didn't know what to make of it, of him. Ben didn't act at all like how she'd imagined the terrifying monster Kylo Ren to be. Where she'd expected brash and bold he was quiet and...shy. There had been brief moments when he'd been more outgoing, sarcastic, and sharp-witted, almost playful. This was not the person she'd thought of, not the person who could enact and then later order the brutal deaths of so many.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She'd agreed with Poe's order to place Ben in confinement until Rey returned. Again, it was the responsible thing to do. If Ben was being genuine then he would simply sit there until Rey returned, if Kylo Ren was being deceitful then he would (hopefully) be forced to stay his hand lest he give himself away, or, worse case, try to use that moment to escape, thus proving their suspicions true.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But, the young mechanic hadn't expected how much it hurt to see him confined. It had pulled up all the painful memories of those she'd lost. The sight of him in that cell, staring stone-faced at the ceiling had made it sink in, that this was the man who had served those who took everything from her and so many others, and then she no longer knew how to feel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rose gripped her arms tightly as her thoughts gnawed at her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How could she reconcile her jumbled feelings? If he really truly was Ben now, with nothing but guilt and grief for what he'd done; if Kylo Ren was really truly </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>, then what should she do? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The New Republic finding out about him being alive complicated things. She understood why the government body, damaged as it was, would want him. But, at the same time… What could they do other than what had already been done? Lock him up forever? Execute him? What peace would anyone find in it? She knew firsthand that knowing that those who had been directly responsible for her sister's death were also dead didn't make her feel any better. Paige would never come back, no matter how much blood was spilled, no matter how much vengeance Rose got for her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now everything was a mess. Ben had fled, Poe would soon be facing down angry coms from the New Republic, Rey would surely be upset. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Why did it hurt so much if she'd been doing the right thing? Why did she feel so guilty? Wasn't it her responsibility to do what she could to ensure that it never happened again?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For years she'd done just that, put every skill she possessed at the disposal of the Resistance, even her apparent talents for espionage, much as they unnerved her sometimes. Yet, she didn't feel as relieved as she thought she would now that it was over, didn't feel as good as she thought she would doing what she'd done to Ben...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rose started at the thought. She wiped stubbornly at her eyes as they welled with tears, she wasn't just worrying over potential damage done to her existing friendships, she was mourning the potential loss of an entirely new one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Ben lost track of how long he kept at it. To an outside viewer, he'd probably look like he'd lost his mind…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sun was beginning to sink toward the horizon but there was still enough light to see all he had dredged up. There were easily over 100 different clusters of bones. Partial skulls, single ribs, spinal disks, carpal bones, tarsal bones, some teeth, part of a pelvis. Fragments, all that was left of people who had been dumped here, some, he suspected, had still been alive at the time. The worst of it was how few belonged to full-grown beings.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knew he'd found them all, at least all the ones possible to find. The festering knot of the dark side had dissipated when he'd come up with the last one. Now the question was, what did he do with them? They couldn't be left here, they needed to be returned to...somewhere, and the people responsible, stopped. Who needed to receive these remains he didn't know yet, who was responsible he didn't know yet either, but the Force had guided him here, it would guide him to wherever was next.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, there was still the matter of how to transport them…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time since being pulled under Ben realized his bag was missing. He whipped his head around to search for it and nearly clocked himself in the face with the bag in question. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>…That hadn't been there before. He hadn't taken it off and hung it on a branch, he would remember doing that, right? Right. Right…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled the bag down slowly, eyeing the tree like it might suddenly animate and try to eat him. Once he'd retrieved it, Ben pulled out the emergency blanket, would have been nice to have but he wasn't just going to just toss the remains in the bag to get jumbled together with everything else, as much for the sake of being sanitary as it was out of respect. So he smoothed the fabric out as best he could lay each set of matching fragments together, and carefully folded it back up, putting it snugly at the bottom of the bag. None too soon it seemed because as soon as he fastened the bag shut he felt the first drops of rain hit his head. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah...well crap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lacking much finesse, Ben searched quickly for someplace nearby that he could take shelter. Luck was on his side this time and he found a fairly large husk of a tree, hollowed out by time and wildlife. It wasn't pretty but it was drier than most of the swamp so it was ideal for getting some sleep. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben tossed his bag into the makeshift shelter just moments before the sky opened up and the deluge began full force. Rather than getting into the shelter himself, Ben hurried to the closest spot where the rain was falling the hardest, sheets upon sheets, cupping his hands to catch as much as possible then gulping it down and repeating. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He'd been a whole day without water, but it hadn't been until the rain started to fall that he felt it. He could have wept and practically moaned for how good it felt to finally have something to drink. So much so that it was a bit of a struggle to stop himself from just drinking until he was sick. He'd had enough of that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He fetched the canteen, opening it and holding it under the stream of water. He did not readily return to his shelter, even after the canteen had been filled. Instead, he basked for a while in the rain, cool and refreshing after a day of trudging through (and then being forcibly dragged through) the muck. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair, doing what he could to clean them. He'd have to see what he could do to dry his clothes, but it was better to have them be drenched and clean than to remain filthy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Begrudgingly, he eventually returned to the tree, much as he'd been enjoying the rain he did have to get out of it at some point. Unless he wanted to turn into a frog, as his mother often liked to tease.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wrang out his clothes the best he could and sat down to eat another of the ration packs. Tentatively, he reached out to Rey. He did promise he'd keep her updated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>          Oh, Ben, I'm so sorry,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rey said, when he'd finished getting her up to speed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could have been there to help, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she looked down at her hands for a moment, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Any idea who might have done this?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"No specific person or group," Ben admitted, "Bruce's memories weren't clear. I'm going to check the area in the morning, hopefully, the rain will have stopped then." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey stifled a laugh against her hand, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I still can't believe you named it Bruce.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben pouted, "What's wrong with Bruce?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing, you're just very...cute.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not cute…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You just keep telling yourself that.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben huffed, "My "adventure" aside, how is your mission going?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Better than before actually, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey's relief was palpable, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm not sure how soon they'll finalize a plan but at least now they're trying.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben smiled, "That's great, I knew you'd be able to convince them."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey flushed</span>
  <em>
    <span>, Well it wasn't so much convincing as it was me yelling at them.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was Ben's turn to laugh at her expense, "To be fair I think I would have too. Looks like my mother's tactics still work."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They do, I just wish that it didn't take something so tragic to convince them to work with one another.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I know," he assured her, "At least now they're motivated, they've experienced first hand what will happen if they don't work this out."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, I suppose. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey was quiet for a moment, looking him over and Ben tried not to feel too self-conscious about his disheveled appearance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you need anything? I don't want to strain you by transferring anything too much. I can feel that you're not back where you should be. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"That vision didn't help, yeah, but I'm alright right now."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey looked at him flatly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You're sitting inside a rotten tree eating ration bars. I could get you a few things, no one would miss some additional rations or a hand light.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I can't ask you to do that. You know as well as I do that the people on Crerino don't have much. So I'm not going to ask for anything unless I absolutely need it."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey sighed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>That's true. Ugh, I wish I'd brought your grandfather's saber, at least then I could give you something to protect yourself. But it's in my lockbox back on the Silent Dawn...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll be alright," Ben tried to assure her, "I was trained to defend myself even without a saber."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She didn't look convinced and Ben sensed her next question before she even asked it. He shifted closer to her and obediently lifted his shirt so she could see the blaster wound.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey made a sympathetic hiss, </span>
  <em>
    <span>That looks about how I thought it would. You're lucky, it doesn't look like it's infected, despite your swimming in a swamp.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"That wasn't by choice," Ben sulked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey rolled her eyes at him and pressed her palm against his skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben couldn't stop his sigh of relief when the dull pain and persistent itch began to subside. He had no reason to put up a fuss about her healing this particular wound. Partially because it wasn't very big and mostly because it was still raw enough to run the risk of becoming infected.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Curiously, even after she'd mended his wound Rey didn't withdraw. Instead, she moved her hand farther down, to his left side, Ben tried not to project the way his stomach trembled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It really is gone, scar and all…</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rey said quietly and it took Ben a second to realize that she was referring to where she had stabbed him with his old saber. She withdrew her hand and studied his face for a moment, </span>
  <em>
    <span>All of your scars are gone.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ah, yes they were, weren't they. Even the one on his face, they'd been gone when he'd woken up on the Resistance ship, but he'd first felt them mending when Rey had saved him from the very wound she'd been looking for just now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not sure what to make of the situation he tried to joke, "That's too bad I guess. Some people think scars are attractive, my mug probably could have used the help."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It must not have landed right because Rey didn't look any happier, actually she looked a bit upset.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't like them, </span>
  </em>
  <span>She said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>any of them. any time I saw the one on your face all I could think of was how I'd put it there. The others I saw on your body, I didn't like knowing how badly you'd been hurt, or how you'd gotten them… That I had a hand in so many.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gently, Ben took her hand in his, "I understand, believe it or not. Even so, I also don't want you to feel guilty about them, I brought each one upon myself."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She didn't look entirely convinced, but Rey still nodded.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Get some rest okay? Make sure you check in with me tomorrow too? Sorry for being a pest, I just can't keep from worrying about you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben chuckled, "Same back to you. And, don't apologize, if things were reversed I'd be just as worried. I'd be especially obnoxious, you'll see when you're the one on a quest. I'm sure yours will be somewhere much nicer though."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, yes. Somewhere nice and warm I bet. Like an active volcano.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Finn was at a loss. He lay in bed, in the small accommodations the people of Crerino had provided. His were separate from Rey's and right now he was glad for that. After the events of the last few days, his friend had been avoiding him. Nothing so outright as sending him away or walking off if she saw him. No, it was small things, like not taking meals together, not speaking to him unless it was related to the negotiations or if he spoke to her first. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was upset with him, with them. It wasn't anger so much as it was hurt. Finn had heard her argument with Poe loud and clear. After she and the other survivors had been freed from the rubble his friend had stayed just long enough to allow medical staff to see to her wounds and to confirm the safety of the other people she'd been trapped with. Then she'd left, refusing to acknowledge his presence when he'd fallen into step behind her. The moment she got to her quarters she'd headed straight for her com.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If Finn were honest he'd admit that he'd had a bad feeling from the moment Rey had told him about her assignment. Just something itching and nagging, and the longer they'd been gone the more it felt like things were teetering on the edge of spiraling out of control. He'd chalked it up to nerves, after all, not only was this a pretty substantial task, but he was also aware of what was going to happen once they'd left. He'd only gotten more on edge when Rey hadn't seemed to notice, if Ben hadn't told her what had happened through their brain linking thing, then what did that mean?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He'd only been fooling himself. It wasn't nerves at all. More and more often now he was starting to notice things, like a buzz on the very edges of his awareness, a tug or a push, not unlike that of a magnet. Almost like something was trying to warn him or get his attention. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Was that…? Was that what the Force felt like?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He'd been meaning to ask for so long now. There hadn't been any time before, what with the literal war. Rey had been so focused on training with Leia and then had gone through that whole... emotional nightmare, which he still didn't know the source of. Outside of Kylo at least. After that, it just felt like the wrong time to bring it up. Like it would be awkward or they might not believe him. Though, before he'd left, Ben had started to ask him something. At that moment he'd had a sudden sense of relief, but the conversation had never happened...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside him, sitting on the mattress, Finn’s com buzzed softly, alerting him to an incoming call. He activated it and for the first time in several long days, Poe popped into view.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other man appeared to be laying in his own bed and Finn felt a wave of relief, Poe had a bad habit of working too long or just not going to sleep for long stretches of time. Sometimes Finn had to physically drag him to his bunk and threaten to lock him in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey," </span>
  </em>
  <span>Poe's grainy image mumbled and Finn could hear the exhaustion in his voice, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>How are you doing?</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn smiled, "Still alive."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe frowned, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sorry I couldn't call you before now. You weren't in the building, right?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"No, I was outside. There wasn't much for me to do inside."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Thank the stars… I finally got the report, it said a generator exploded?</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn nodded, "Yeah, someone rigged it to overload, apparently. No one has claimed responsibility though."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe sighed, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>They probably won't</span>
  </em>
  
  <em>
    <span>if they're still alive,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" His frown deepened, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Are you sure you're alright? You look like you're miles away."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm fine just," Finn paused a moment, trying to decide if he should bring up what he'd been mulling over, "When I was still a trooper, the day I met you actually, you remember what I told you? About how I froze?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, I remember,"</span>
  </em>
  <span> Poe looked even more concerned than before.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It wasn't just that," Finn tried to think of how to phrase it, "It was like… Like everything before that was hazy and suddenly it was crystal clear like I'd just been jolted awake." At Poe's look of confusion, he tried to elaborate, "Maybe this sounds weird but, I think it was the Force. It's supposed to give you insight when something is wrong or you're about to hit a crossroads."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>I don't know how much I trust something that lets people do the things I've seen Rey do… But, if it was the Force that snapped you back to reality, I'm glad it did." </span>
  </em>
  <span>Poe paused, </span>
  <em>
    <span>"Why were you thinking about that?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Because I was thinking about Ben," Finn admitted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe sighed in audible frustration, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Come on, not you too."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It's not like that," Finn rolled his eyes good-naturedly, "I'm not telling you to chew you out. Thing is… When it happened. I think- I really do think that Kylo Ren noticed. I remember him staring at me and feeling so scared that I couldn't move." He exhaled slowly, "The thing is… If he noticed if he'd felt my emotions, then why didn't he do anything? He could have killed me right there with no effort at all and no one in the First Order would have questioned or cared that it happened. I've thought about it a lot recently and I think… I think it's because Ben was still in there, that he- I don't know, stopped himself? Maybe he rationalized it somehow, that it wasn't worth killing me."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe was quiet for a while, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Even if that's true, we can't just assume he's fine now. Not to mention that even if he is that doesn't just let him off the hook.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I know," Finn sighed, "Trust me, I do. But, there has to be something else we can do. Locking him up or killing him it just...it bothers me a lot."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why?"</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Because he's like me."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Poe balked, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>He is NOTHING like you, don't compare yourself!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn shook his head, "The severity is different, yeah, but that's not what I meant. The Order didn't have any real volunteers, almost everyone there was abducted or was leftover from the Empire. The more I've been around him the more I think Ben didn't join because he wanted to. I don't know if he was lied to, or if someone did something to his head, or what but, I can't shake the feeling that by the time he realized something was wrong it was too late, or at least he thought it was."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>If I agreed- and I don't- but if I did, what do we do? You joined the Resistance, you helped us fight and stop them."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Not at first," Finn admitted, "My initial escape was entirely selfish. For a good while, I wanted to run away from the Resistance too. I even tried a couple of times, just ask Rose. As for Ben, he helped Rey take down the Emperor, he's gone for good and I believe Rey when she says it took both of them."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"That's not enough though,"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Maybe it is!" Finn protested, "He went to help Rey, not knowing if they could win or not, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> die."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Finn…" </span>
  </em>
  <span>Poe sounded exhausted, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Finn, I don't know. I don't know what the right answer is.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I know," Finn smiled sadly, "and I guess I don't either. I just don't want hurting him or throwing him away to be it. There's been too much of that…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They lapsed into silence for a while until Poe spoke up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>I miss you."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn felt his cheeks heat up and he offered Poe a far warmer smile, "I miss you too. Don't worry, as soon as we're done here I'll be back and we can figure this thing out together."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>I'll hold you to that General Finn."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finn laughed, feeling better than he had before, "Go to bed Poe."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          To Ben's surprise, he slept well that night. The rain outside had created a soothing white noise and the moss-covered "floor" had been shockingly comfortable. Well, maybe it wasn't strictly the local, after all his small, cramped bed on the Silent Dawn had surely been more comfortable than the literal ground, and bigger too, now that he thought of it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yet, despite all logic to the contrary, he'd slept like a rock and woke up feeling leagues better than he had the last few weeks and certainly better than the last few </span>
  <em>
    <span>days</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He hadn't even had a single nightmare!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Ben finally crawled out of his little hidey-hole, the sun was only partway into the sky. It hadn't risen high enough yet for the air to get sweltering, and so everything was covered with fog. It was strangely beautiful. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he'd have to be careful where he stepped.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as he'd finished eating Ben, secured his bag and hurried to return to the grotto where he'd found the bones to search for any sort of signs that might answer the questions of "who" and "where".</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unfortunately, as he'd suspected, there wasn't much </span>
  <b>to </b>
  <span>find. Some signs of impact from a blaster bolt on a few of the large stones, some gouges in a tree, but not much else… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He moved outward in a loose circle, slowly widening his search, and after some time he finally came across something a bit more substantial. At first, it didn't look like much of anything, just a patch of plant growth, but the more he looked at it the more Ben realized it was different than everywhere else. The cluster of foliage was much thicker and newer than the ones that surrounded it. The reason why became clearer when he examined the smaller trees and then the ground. There were signs of limbs having been cut from the saplings and the ground dipped and curved more here than anywhere else. Looking farther ahead he moved slowly to the side and saw other patches of growth line up with this one. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a path. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not often used based on how hard it had been to spot initially, but now that he knew what he was looking for it stuck out like a sore thumb.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Holding his hand just above the soil he cast his senses forward. Was this the path he wanted? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...Yes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The pull was very deliberate and insistent, the next part of his task was this way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben traveled as quickly as he dared, he was still tiring faster than he would like but the rest had helped considerably. He still needed to stop periodically and it was during one such stop that he noticed something odd. Aside from the bugs, birds, and Bruce, he hadn't seen any other wildlife since he’d landed here. It must be around, or else what did Bruce eat? It could be that the fauna on this sector of the planet had learned to be cautious of the bipedal invaders wreaking havoc on their homes. They might be animals but they were perfectly capable of understanding when they were in danger. For all of them to hide from anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>resembling</span>
  </em>
  <span> a humanoid, whoever these people were they had likely gone out of their way to harass or harm the wildlife.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he was Kylo the thought would have meant little to him, he'd have just tuned it out or tossed it aside as unimportant. After all, he'd been in such a state that it had been almost impossible for him to care about anything at all... Now, as Ben, the idea made his stomach twist. What reason would one have to cause such suffering if not out of some sick satisfaction?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took an hour or so for Ben to finally reach something more substantial. The path led into a portion of the swamp that was much denser than the rest, the trees here blocked out nearly every speck of sunlight and we're so thick with fat choking vines that the path was the only clear way through them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Its end was at an opening in a rock face. The gap was positioned as such that from head-on you couldn't really see it, rather it lay between two pieces of parallel stone. It was wide enough for him to walk through and Ben could clearly see a mass of gouges on the walls, meaning that someone had carved it away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The passage wound a few times but soon opened up and Ben quickly twisted to avoid walking into a waist-high metal crate. He ducked down quickly to avoid being spotted, glancing carefully over the top of the container to survey the area. Where he’d come in appeared to be a storage space, there were several stacked crates and barrels, each containing Whills knew what. Some of them had tarps or blankets tossed over them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cautiously Ben moved farther in. He still didn't see anyone but that didn't mean anything. The main body of the place was mostly open, an almost circular formation of rock reaching high into the air, in lieu of a ceiling several much larger tarps had been hung across it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were more signs of life here. Several chairs and a couple of fold-out tables. Closer inspection revealed several partially eaten breakfasts (all long cold), drinks, some spent blaster cartridges, and scraps of miscellaneous junk. Based on the look of things, whoever had been here had left in a hurry some time ago. There were several sets of footprints in the swath of mud and clay that served as the floor, but they overlapped so often that it was impossible to tell just how many people there were or which way they’d gone, or when. He'd need to look around quickly and then find a good spot to wait in hiding for them to return, then decide how to deal with them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before, he likely would have just killed them, but trying to bring them in alive to face judgment and give any victims closure was the better choice now. Even if it was hypocritical…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>First, he needed to get an idea of how much time he had. He reached out with the Force, purposefully searching for other living things.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He froze. No… oh no.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His gaze snapped sharply to his right, at a glance it looked like a roughshod setup for a large computer array, but it served a secondary purpose, as a wall.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Guilt welled in his stomach as he practically sprinted towards it. If he hadn't been restricting his use of the Force so much he would have sensed this as soon as he entered the pass, maybe even before. Ben darted around the large piece of machinery and threw aside the tarp that kept what was behind it out of sight and out of mind. His heart sank when he got a clear look at what he'd sensed. A cage, the electronic barrier humming a persistent angry red, cast its light on three frightened children, each in ratty mud-soaked clothing, and none of whom looked older than perhaps 4 or 5 years old.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were two human boys who didn't look to be related and one tiny female Gungan, hiding her frightened face behind one of her large fin-like ears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The smallest of the boys made a sniffing sound and Ben saw the tears beginning to well up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Shh," he tried to soothe, projecting as much calm and safety as he could to them, "Don't cry. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to help you, okay?" Perhaps not his original plan, but it was now that he’d found them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was rather bold of him to assume he'd had any sort of real plan at any point since he’d landed, wasn't it?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Save?" The little Gungan asked, in a watery warble, "Really?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben nodded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She sniffed too, "I wanna go home…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You'll all get to go home, promise, I'll find a way to get you all there."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"To mama?" The second human boy asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes,"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hope began to shine on all their tiny faces but then quickly dissipated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Can't go," the Gungan told him, "wait for Aden and Green."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Aden? Green?" Ben asked her. There were other kids? "Were they in here with you?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, her large head wobbling on her thin neck, "Aden a big kid. Him and Green got away! All the bad people chased them. He said he'd come back. We can't go."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben bit his lip, that was more complicated then. Should he just try to get them to leave anyway? If he did and he scared them they might run away into the swamp and get hurt, or worse…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, he was really not good with kids, he didn’t know how to talk to them, didn’t know what to expect from them, and they were so very small. He didn't have many options right now. He could go hide and wait for these people to return. Free the children and hide them somewhere, then come back and wait, and…well those were about it and each had its pros and cons.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Unfortunately, his choice was made for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even without the Force, he'd have known they were coming. The group was anything but silent; cruel laughter, heavy footsteps, and the heart-wrenching wails of a child.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben hurriedly pressed a finger to his lips, the two boys mimicked him and the little girl mimed fastening her bill. Good, they understood to be quiet at least. He moved quickly to the wall, peeking through a thin gap between it and the tarp.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were 6 of them; 4 humans, 3 male, 1 female, a female Trandoshan, and a male Chiss. They were moderately armored, heavy plating on their chests and hips, lighter more mobile armor on their limbs, it all looked a little slapdash with no real unifying structure to it aside from a bright red band painted around the gauntlet of their left forearm which was probably what marked them as crew. The source of their repugnant laughter was the sobbing child, perhaps around 8 or 9, being held upside down high above the Trandoshan's head by one of his legs- A Zabrak? No, Dathomirian, his facial features were too human- Periodically the Trandoshan shook him to make him cry harder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Slavers and ones who'd decided to specialize in children. Disgusting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Congratulations! You found someone almost worse than you!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben clamped down on the self-deprecating thought, now was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>the time, even if it was right.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn't exactly anywhere to hide back here, he'd have to hope that when they brought the kid, Aden, back here to put him in the cage, only one of them would do so. He was confident he could mind trick one of them into not seeing him, but more than that would not end well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&lt;Thought you'd get away this time did you, you little rat?&gt; The Trandoshan mocked, her reptilian rasp making her Huttese sound like sandpaper.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah," chimed in one of the human males, "Getting really tired of chasing you. Soon as the Chief gets back with your little friend we'll decide what to do with you!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The group laughed when the child redoubled his efforts. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben clenched his jaw, trying to crush down the rising anger in his gut. Along with it was a pang of nagging guilt, like this was his fault somehow. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their laughter spiked when Trandoshan hissed angrily. In his flailing, Aden had kicked her solidly in the side of the head. With a snarl she dropped the boy, quickly pinning him beneath her foot before he could recover from the fall.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&lt;Maybe we don't need to wait for the chief,&gt; she snarled, &lt;Seems to me the problem is easily solved! Buyers might want you alive but they didn't say anything about needing all your limbs!&gt;</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The group hooted and cheered in agreement. Their festering elation was nauseating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"She's got a point," The Chiss man cackled, "You'd be amazed at how good cybernetic limbs are these days!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The human woman cocked her head, "You think they'll still buy him without a leg?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't see why they wouldn't…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Well, I mean," she pondered, "we're already takin' the risk that they won't want him anyway. The Imps are pretty set on getting humans. If we bust the goods they might not be willing to buy at all."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A deep awful cold settled under Ben's skin, the slaver's conversation became muddy and out of focus. Imperials…? Buying and stealing children...like the Order... he'd known and did nothing-when he was in control he'd allowed it to continue-This was his fault-these children were here because of him-suffering because of him-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The slavers had come to a consensus it seemed. Decided that losing a limb would probably reduce the value of their... product, but, a damaged limb would heal up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In the dizzying fog clutching his brain, Ben could hear Aden screaming, saw him trying to get away while the thugs held him down, one pawing through nearby equipment and returning with a large wrench. He could feel the rising terror of the children in the cage behind him. Hear his blood thundering in his ears, flashing hot and cold.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No. No no no...this couldn't happen. He couldn't let this happen. Stop, stop, stop!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The slavers seemed alarmed about something, the man, human, with the wrench, he was pawing at his shirt collar. Coughing. He dropped the wrench. Two of his crewmates moved over to him, trying to figure out why their companion was choking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How disgustingly noble.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His face was getting pale, he swayed and toppled down into the dirt. In a moment he would never breathe again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <b>Stop!</b>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben flinched, the sound of his own voice brought reality crashing back into him. What was he doing? He'd almost- without even thinking! But, he'd stopped, he- stopped himself?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The man in the dirt was coughing now, pulling air back into his lungs. His companions weren't paying him any mind though, no, now they were far more interested in the strange man who'd stumbled out of their makeshift child prison.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>&lt;Who the kriff are you supposed to be?&gt; The Trandoshan asked, stretching out to her full impressive height, &lt;You some kind of cop?&gt;</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Nah, look at him, Manissh," the Chiss laughed, "He doesn't have a blaster or anything. He's no officer."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Manissh” trilled, &lt;That's true. Who are you then? Some kind of crazy swamp man?&gt; She eyed him up and down, &lt;Too soft to be a bounty hunter…&gt;</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Who cares who he is?"  one of the human men- not the one unconscious in the dirt- barked, "He's sure as hell not supposed to be here! I say we have a little fun with him then toss his carcass in the pit with the others!" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the group grunted their agreement, and save for the Chiss male, who held Aden in an unyielding grip, began to advance on Ben.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, crap.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fine, okay, he could still work with this, technically it was only 4 people he had to contend with. Better odds than before. He just had to be smart, use the Force sparingly, rely more on his agility than his brute strength. Easier said than done, he'd neglected that area of his training for a long time now… No big deal, just focus on the fight, just like when he'd taken down the knights of Ren…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shrugged the bag off his shoulder and shifted into a lower stance, just in time to dart out of the way when the Trandoshan charged him with a roar, her large, meaty fist impacting the rock wall, sending small fragments of stone tumbling to the dirt!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One of the human men made a grab for him and Ben twisted out of the way. The quick motion made his head swim a little but he still managed to bring his elbow around into the man's back and then drop to kick his legs out from under him, sending him face-first into the loamy soil. As Ben moved to put distance between himself and the giant lizard, once more barring down on him, he purposefully brought down his full weight and springboarded off the fallen man's back, wrenching a satisfying whoosh of air from his lungs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hopefully, that was one down. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He ducked another lunge from the Trandoshan and quickly ducked to avoid being shot in the head by the human woman. He channeled more of the Force to stabilize his swimming vision and rolled out of the way when she fired again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The glance he'd gotten put her behind one of the tables. Not necessarily ideal cover, but he didn't have a blaster so she only needed it to keep him from getting too close to her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was funny how your body never really forgot anything you'd taught it. Already he was slipping back easily into the flow of combat, the strange feeling of everything falling away while your mind worked in a zen-like combination of calculating a strategy on the fly and letting impulse and instinct guide the body's motions.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Purposefully he put the lizard between himself and the shooter, reflex keeping him a step ahead of her swipes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The remaining human man ran at him with a yell, welding the wrench his fallen companion had dropped. Ben caught his arm without looking and bowed to his momentum, hauling the now screaming human over his shoulder and hurled him in a full-body throw at the Trandoshan thug!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She let out a roar like a feral animal and swatted the other slaver like he weighed nothing, sending him sailing off into the table her other companion had been hiding behind with a scream and a stupendously loud </span>
  <em>
    <span>crash</span>
  </em>
  <span>!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben caught a glance of the human woman; having been forced to abandon her cover, she’d thrown caution to the wind and was moving to get a better shot. The throw had allowed the reptilian bruiser to close much of the distance between herself and him and Ben was left with only one option.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The claws lanced his way and Ben turned to take the hit! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He grit his teeth on his cry of pain when the blow stabbed his back with enough force to briefly lift him off the ground! Much as it had hurt it was better than being shot. Ben pushed with the Force against the Trandoshan’s momentum, and flipped up over her shoulder, forcing her between him and the next shot!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As to be expected with something so damn durable wearing armor so damn thick, the Trandoshan only grunted in irritation when the bolt hit her, rounding to glare at her crewmate. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The momentary distraction was just what Ben had been waiting for though, his Jedi honed reflexes served him well, and with the barest twitch of his fingers a toppled chair mysteriously flipped the wrong way and the gunman toppled over it with a shout, followed by the louder more unpleasant sound of her unprotected skull impacting the edge of another chair. At the same time, Ben threw his fist as hard as he could, enhanced with unnatural strength, into the hollow of his opponent's throat!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Trandoshan went down like a boulder hurled off a cliff. Retching and gagging, she vomited into the mud before collapsing on her side, still, save for her wheezing gasps for air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben rounded on the remaining man, the Chiss. He'd be easy, just mind trick him, knock him out, get the kids out of here and get somewhere relatively safe before he keeled over.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His hopes that this might have been over quickly were dashed almost immediately when a slow condescending clap echoed through the canyon.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Now," drawled a woman's voice, distorted by a vocoder, "that was a might impressive, hero man."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>From the way he'd originally entered, came the voice's owner. Around average height but visibly well-muscled, older than him probably. That was about all he could tell about her physically. Her gear was similar to the other slaver's only it was far better kept and looked to be an entire set rather than parts of several, complete with a matching helmet. Over it all, she wore a heavy leather duster coat, but Ben could still see the blaster at her hip and the vibro-knife in her belt. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> He also saw the second blaster in her free hand, pointed not at him, but at a brown burlap bag with something thrashing angrily inside it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Not sure what brings you to our charming little camp, but seems to me you've got a choice to make," She shook the bag for emphasis, "Now, you can either give up, which is honestly the best choice because you're only other option is to try and reach me or my dear employee there before we put a rather lethal hole through one of these kids."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben grit his teeth and spared a glance at the man gripping Aden. As he feared, the Chiss had one arm around the boy's neck and the other one pressing a blaster to the terrified child's head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben glanced, back at the woman, who must be the "Chief" the others had been talking about, then back to the Chiss.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah-ah</span>
  </em>
  <span>!" The chief called out, "I know you don't have a blaster but I saw you fight, you're not getting the chance to scheme." She tilted her head in a way that told him she was grinning wickedly, "Hands on your head and down on your knees, else you'll be down two brats, and I'm thinking you don't want that."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wasn't joking, he could sense the silent countdown in her head. The talking had done its job too, his adrenaline was fading and weariness was starting to weigh down his limbs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Damn it… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Damn it!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not breaking his defiant eye contact, Ben raised his hands to his head and sank slowly to his knees.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Good boy," the Chief crooned, "Don't worry, you won't go to waste. Got a lot of customers who'd </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>a pretty thing like you."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Quick as a flash she snapped her blaster at him and fired. He saw the ring of bright light a fraction before the stun bolt hit him and a burning pain tore his consciousness from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>TBC</b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Is it weird that I really want to try and find some way to bring Bruce back? Giant space pancake alligator I do love you so &lt;3 <br/>I've been doodling some stuff based on this chapter and I'll probably be posting it on my tumblr sometime in the next week or so? So pop by if you'd like to take a peek at it!</p>
<p>I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As always let me know if there are any mistakes that I missed or tags that I should add!</p>
<p>Your feedback is super helpful and gives me creative fuel so I would love to know what you thought! Also, if you want to check out my artwork or even just say hello, feel free to stop by my art tumblr! Here--&gt; http://cc-sketchbook.tumblr.com or my twitter --&gt; @chaos_child</p>
<p>See you guys next time! ~ Much love, CC</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Thinking about things you haven't in a long time, nostalgia is painful</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The explosion was brighter than even the daylight, a blue-white, that hurt, cutting behind Ben's eyelids! The snap BANG of it breaking the sound barrier rattled him down to his bones, and the shockwave chucked him like a ragdoll! Instinctively he grabbed the child and held him tight to his chest, shielding him with his arms!</p>
<p>Surely, Ben thought dizzily to himself, a signal that bright, loud, and obvious, must be impossible to miss…</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW for this chapter: mentions of dead children, mentions of child abuse, blood, violence, deaths of adult characters, dark thoughts.</p>
<p>Let me know if I missed any!</p>
<p>(Also fun fact: I discovered while reading up on my Star Wars lore that Poe Dameron is three years older than Ben Solo XD )</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I'm in need of a savior (Savior), but I'm not asking for favors</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My whole life, I've felt like a burden</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I think too much, and I hate it</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I found peace in your violence</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Can't tell me there's no point in trying</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I found peace in your violence</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Can't tell me there's no point in trying</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I've been quiet for too long</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I've been quiet for too long</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I found peace in your violence</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Can't tell me there's no point in trying</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>- Silence, Marshmallow</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...</b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Ben hurt. He hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Dimly he was aware of a cold hard surface underneath him, but not much more than that. His head spun, direction impossible to parse, waves of vertigo making the world slip and slide in too many directions; his senses crying out conflicting warnings of misplaced textures, rough and sharp where they shouldn't be, registering the harsh contrast of black and white. In the brief moments where he came the closest to lucidity, he found he couldn't move, unfortunately, these moments were precursors to his muscles giving a twitch or spasm on their own. A cascade of pain lanced through his body, the heat of an electric charge and a sensation like the sound of dried leaves when crunched underfoot. Each time there was a rush of primal panic, his other, dyad, where was she?! The connection, not gone, but silent, not sending or receiving. He was lost and in agony and she would have no way to know. He was alone. No! No no no! Please, please come back! At one point he thought perhaps he might be making sounds, weak painful things drawn from the most primitive and animalistic part of the human psyche. As he dropped in and out of consciousness he found himself thinking deliriously: </span>
  <em>
    <span>this really needs to stop happening to me…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Distantly, as if suddenly and forcibly divorced from his own body, he felt something strange. A faint touch on his face, like several tiny pinpricks, an odd pressure rolled over him, then a wave of relief sank into his skin, like a rush of cold air on a sweltering day. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thoughts that weren't his swirled around in his brain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hurt. I fix. Not scared, so don't fear. Happy. Missed you, was sad. Safe now.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something about it was familiar and it stirred a sense of far off memory, from when he was much younger. It was comforting, but he couldn't quite place why.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          When Ben finally woke it was dark, he could hear the harsh pattern of rain nearby. He cautiously opened his eyes to find everything around him bathed in red light. The day's events came hurtling back and he scrambled to sit up. He was stopped partway up by a frustrated whine and the feeling of something digging into his stomach. </span>
  <span>Ben looked down and his confusion grew even more. Curled up, clinging to him with sharp little claws, was a small child. At first, all he was able to see was the soft tan clothes they wore, a coat or tunic of some kind? But, the child slowly uncurled from the little ball they'd been in and Ben got a proper look. Large brown eyes stared up at him from the round face, green skin dotted with the bumps and ridges that would become more prominent as they got older, all covered in faint white peach fuzz. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The large ears perked up and swiveled slightly towards him and the little face split into a fanged grin of delight as the little voice chirped, "Beh-Lo!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Abbreviated as it was, that was definitely his name, first and last, said with recognition. Did...did this little creature know him…? It was so young how could-? Ben started suddenly, recalling when he'd first begun training with his uncle. For a long time, it had just been the two of them, but for a brief time, there had been...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Grogu?" He asked in disbelief. He hadn't said that name or even </span>
  <em>
    <span>thought</span>
  </em>
  <span> of the child in over a decade. He'd almost been completely displaced in his memories.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The little being chirped with happiness and attempted to wrap his small arms around Ben's middle though there was no way he actually could.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Was that you?" Ben quietly asked, "You were the one calling me?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu nodded before stifling a yawn and leaning more of his weight against the human. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You're exhausted," Ben observed with mild concern, the bright icy blue impression the little one normally left on the Force seemed withdrawn and faint. Ben experimentally flexed his fingers and feeling no stiffness or pain, put the pieces together, "You healed me, didn't you?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu made a sleepy affirmative sound.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Impressions flowed into Ben's mind, feelings and ideas that became almost like words.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You were hurting. Black and burnt inside. Lots of damage. An image like charred circuitry. Extensive. Sadness. Suffering. Worked very hard to fix it all.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Burned? Wait, no, that actually made sense. His nervous system had been strained already, overtaxed by his dangerous use of the Force. A stun bolt was designed to overload the nerves of its victim, knocking them unconscious. With his pre-existing injuries, the result had likely been far more extreme, like some sort of seizure. They might have thought they'd killed him at first.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now, thanks to this tiny being, he felt fine, better even in fact than he had before he'd fled the Silent Dawn. Aside from just being tired, he felt back to normal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Awkwardly, unsure of how exactly he was supposed to do this, Ben patted Grogu's head, "Thank you," he told him, "I think you saved my skin." He couldn't help but wonder though why Grogu would do this. Logically it could be because Ben was his best shot at escaping with the others, but why did he act so happy to see him? "What are you doing here?" He asked, It had been a very long time ago but he distinctly remembered that when Grogu left the temple someone had come to get him…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu cooed softly, his large ears lowering a degree. He made purposeful eye contact and once again memories passed between them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Grogu had been traveling with someone, yes. His protector! They'd been stopped at a planet a few systems away and Guardian had been approached by a small group of people. Recognizing his profession and noting his caring for a child they had pleaded with him for help. </em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>They told him of the abductions, rarely adults, very often children. The raids were sudden and random. They'd reported it numerous times to the New Republic but little had been done. Feeling abandoned the parents and remaining loved ones had pooled together what little funds they had and now sought someone who would return those who had been stolen and bring those who'd taken them to justice.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Protector was a withdrawn man, but he was kind, and so had accepted their request. They'd traveled a long time, stopped at several places, Protector had picked up the trail of the abductors and it had brought them here. Grogu had tried to do what he could to help him and had set out to find the culprits. He was small and young, he would be a tempting target to these people as much as he had been to others. Protector was always able to find him, so it would be easier for him than trying to find the bad people.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Unfortunately, something seemed to have gone wrong. It had been many days and Protector had not appeared. The slavers began to talk about departing. He'd done what he could to prevent that, using the Force to break important components and delay their leaving but it had only worked so long, Aden's repeated attempts at escape had complicated things further and he'd done all he could to keep him and the others safe. He was strong in the Force but physically easily handled…</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>But it wasn't all bad! He'd sensed the approach of someone familiar and had called out to them! Look who it had been! The boy from the Jedi temple, once small but not so small anymore, who'd had a great sadness inside him, a burdensome fate, but now it had lessened and he was glad for the return of this gentle person.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something in Ben's chest tightened. There was no way that Grogu could know what it was that had been happening to him all this time, he wouldn't be glad otherwise… That aside, he'd been trying to keep these other children safe despite the odds, he certainly couldn't let that be in vain. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>More alert now Ben quickly examined his surroundings. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The cage he'd been thrown into was the same cell as the children, meaning it was probably the only one. That was slightly good in that the slavers didn't have a ready way to separate them. Unfortunately, their prison wasn't very large, the way he'd been laying, curled up on the floor, had his head and feet dangerously close to touching the energy field that surrounded the thing. As a result, the four other children were huddled together on either side of him as far away as possible without risking touching the field themselves. It wasn't very far. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Dathomirian, Aden, was visibly awake, where he lay, watching his interaction with Grogu intently. Ben took the opportunity to study the boy as the little one studied him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Age-wise, he might place Aden as 8 or 9? He was certainly under the age of 10 and the oldest child here. (save for Grogu on a technicality) Against his tan skin were the slightly darker shapes that made up his first set of facial tattoos. They framed his eyes and surrounded each of his small horns- one of which, Ben noted sadly, had been broken almost to the base. It might continue to grow as he got older, but it might never be right again, and certainly must have hurt when it happened. Like others of the mixed-species Aden sported hair like a human, it was a dark brown and grew in a stripe down the center of his head, into a tight tuft of a ponytail in the back. He studied Ben with a fierce and calculating expression, green eyes looking almost refractive in the dim light… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben could sense the other children were awake as well, but visually they were feigning being asleep. Like Aden, they obviously did not trust him just yet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What they had to have gone through to feel that way…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry," he told them, keeping his voice down, trying to puzzle his way through how to talk to them. Diplomacy wasn't his strong suit at the best of times with </span>
  <em>
    <span>adults</span>
  </em>
  <span> and you couldn't talk to children like that, "I must have scared you, I didn't mean to." The little group stayed quiet so he kept going, "I meant what I said before, I am going to help you escape and get back to your families."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden snorted in disbelief, sitting up, "I'm not scared of you. They shot you and threw you in the box too, good job on rescuing us."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben bit his tongue and reminded himself that this kid had been through hell, being a smart ass wasn't something to get irritated at him over. "That wasn't great huh?" He said instead, "I was hurt so I didn't do too well. But Grogu fixed me up so I'm better now."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden didn't look convinced. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On Ben's other side the little Gungan raised her head. "Green has magic," she said softly, "He made my knee stop hurting. He must've fixed your boo-boos too." Her large eyes crinkled in worry and her ears flopped limply down, "The bad people said you were gonna die… then they said that you were gonna eat us, that you gots kid bones in your bag."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The smaller of the two human boys whimpered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben flinched, "I don't- No, I don't eat children. The bones are ones I found, I'm going to bring them back to their families so they can bury them."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Gungan made a mournful sound and fat tears began to bead up in the corners of her eyes. From his drowsy perch on Ben's leg, Grogu radiated annoyance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, right, that was probably not an appropriate thing to mention to children.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry," he was probably going to end up saying that a lot, "I'm not going to let that happen to any of you, I promise." Scrambling for some way to keep them from crying and alerting the guards he asked, "What's your name? I can't just call you "kiddo" right?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Gungan rubbed her eyes, "My name is Fwi-Fwi."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, "My name is Ben."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fwi-Fwi smiled back, actually moved closer to him, and held out her little hand expectantly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Putting the pieces together quickly, he took her hand carefully in his own and let her shake it. Now that was able to get a better look at her he could see that Fwi-Fwi was overall a kind of pinkish-red color, lighter on her anterior side, the color shifted to a pale blue at the ends of her ears and hands, her large eyes, best suited for low light, were a similar blue. Her clothes had probably once been bright and colorful too but had long since been stained by mud and Whills knew what else. They were frayed and torn in places and along the short sleeves and shirt color a few small seashells held on stubbornly. Her hand didn't feel as chubby as he'd expected a child's to be and Ben's stomach sank further at the thought that they'd been starving.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The handshake seemed to reassure the two human boys and they scooted over the short distance until they were leaning against Ben's other leg.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They both peered up at him and it was much easier to tell than on Fwi-Fwi that their little faces weren't as chubby as they should have been.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One of the boys, dark-skinned, with worried brown eyes, and black curly hair in desperate need of brushing, regarded Ben a moment before saying, "I'm Til," he pointed to the other boy; pale-skinned, short sandy hair that stuck out at odd angles, worried brown eyes that wouldn't meet Ben's. "This is Clif. He's my friend."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben offered them his hand too but only Til took it. Clif instead clung tighter to Til's hand and Ben noted that while being in a similar state of wear and tear to Fwi-Fwi's clothes it was clear that the two boy's little overalls had once matched.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Clif doesn't like to talk much," Til told him, matter-of-factly, "He doesn't like big people either."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shrugged, not knowing what else to do, "That's okay, I don't like a lot of other big people either."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The children, save for Aden, all nodded sagely to each other. Okay, well, at least he might be getting somewhere with most of them…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"So what's your big plan then </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben</span>
  </em>
  <span>." Aden groused, puffing his chest out and crossing his arms. A tough guy act if he'd ever seen one. Couldn't blame the kid though.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben cast his gaze to the tarp that blocked the view of the camp. He didn't need his eyes to see it, smatterings of festering colors moved around through the Force dotting the landscape of his mind. "Getting us out of this prison is the easy part," Ben mused, "Dealing with the slavers is the tricky part. If they attack us all at once you guys might get hurt. So the fewer of them the better. It'll be a lot easier to knock them out if it's one at a time…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A pat on his leg brought his attention back down to the younger children and to his surprise all three were staring at him in awe. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...was that really that impressive…? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Aden," Fwi-Fwi, called in a whisper, "You been out lots of times. How did you get past the bad people?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden puffed his little cheeks and begrudgingly answered, "I waited till they went to sleep." He looked at Ben sternly, "When it's been dark a while the bad guys start getting loud," he wrinkled his nose in disgust, "they all get drunk, and sometimes they fight. But then most of 'em go to sleep. Most around here but their boss is in their ship," he grinned with wicked pride, "I made it all the way there once but she stopped me."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben offered him a smile, which Aden scowled at, "That's good to know. They haven't started being loud yet so we have some time still…" he carefully considered what information he had, "When they're asleep we'll sneak out, I need to get my bag if it's still here, then we can go. If any guards see us I can knock them out."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu grunted indignantly and poked him deliberately in the stomach.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay, Grogu will knock them out then."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Little green looked pleased with the correction.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Once we get to the ship," Ben continued, We'll lock up the captain and anyone else on board and use it to take you home. We'll send out a call too to make sure the New Republic comes to arrest them."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not the most ingenious plan and it was a bit vague for his liking but it was as solid as it was probably going to get. What was most important right now was getting these kids out of here and Ben was confident that in the worst-case scenario he could brute force their way out. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that though, he didn't want to traumatize the kids any more than they already had been. With any luck, the slavers didn't have some secret backup ship they could chase them in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> hoped he had inherited his father's luck when it came to hair-brained schemes like this. He certainly didn't have it for anything else…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It's going to be a while before we can escape," he told the little ones, "You should probably get some sleep if you can."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden grumpily shifted farther away from him but did not lay down again, rather it seemed that he was going to be keeping an eye on Ben instead with that same sharp, distrustful gaze.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The remaining three children exchanged a worried look between themselves before shifting to lay down close by.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fwi-Fwi gripped the cuff of Ben's pants leg and regarded him with not a small amount of concern, "You're not going to go without us, are you?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben's brow furrowed, "No. I'm not going to leave anyone behind." He assured her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She flashed him a hopeful smile, "Okay!" Satisfied, she curled up and closed her eyes, pulling one of her ears close like a stuffed toy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without much else to do other than wait, Ben shifted enough to sit cross-legged. With the children resting on either side of him, and Grogu snoozing, perched on his leg and leaning against his abdomen, Ben tried to settle into a meditative state.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There were a great deal more slavers than there had been that afternoon, he already knew that though. What he sought was- there it was, that mournfully cold spot in the Force. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The remains hadn't been separated very much, dumped out on the ground by the feel of it. Probably when they went through the bag for anything valuable.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped that they had been very disappointed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn't very far from where they were, just across the miniature canyon, near the far wall. There would still be the risk of being caught when he went to get it, but after all he'd been through to get them this far, he was very steadfast in his mission to rescue </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He turned most of his gaze inward to assess the state of his body. He was pleased not to feel anything other than general exhaustion. Grogu really was very skilled at healing people with the Force. He'd have to think of a way to properly thank him later.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now all there was to do was wait and Ben relinquished his control and let the Force direct his thoughts for the time being, like a leaf being moved along by small eddies on the surface of a body of water. If he could let go of his concerns and get his frantic mind to settle and clear, he would be better able to focus and react to whatever awaited them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          It took several hours, but, as Aden had said, the slavers eventually settled in to play cards and drink themselves stupid. When they were done, the majority wandered off to various places around the compound and within about a half an hour after that all but two were asleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When it was clear that they all were indeed fast asleep, Ben opened his eyes and shook the children awake. He tried to do so gently, not wanting to scare them, their crying might not necessarily wake anyone, but it could easily get the attention of the guards and cause some fairly large problems. Thankfully each child awoke with only mild sleepy confusion, even Aden, who'd dozed off despite himself, seemed more surprised now than angry. Ben put a finger to his lips indicating quiet, holding back a smile when all the little ones covered their mouths with their hands. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a look to Grogu, the two of them raised their hands to the barrier, willing the energy to warp and split, creating an opening they could leave through. It was easier with the two of them but still not an easy task. Manipulating pure energy was taxing, more so than just holding it in place as he could with blaster bolts. It was the third strongest thing in the universe, after all, the first being the Force and the second being gravity. It had rules and laws and stubbornly stuck to them and fought against any effort to make them deviate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It would be far easier to break it, force the field to dissipate, but he didn't know what sort of alert that might trigger. So this was the best option.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Go," Ben whispered to the children, who had been watching with open awe, "We'll be right after you, stay behind the tarp."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden wasted no time and darted out of the opening before it could potentially close on them. The others followed right after and Ben was pleased to see the older boy silently herd them to stay by him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Your turn," he told Grogu, shifting his leg to nudge the little one forward. He grunted softly as he took the full strain of the task but the opening held strong and didn't waver.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With a quite chittering grumble at having been pushed, Grogu scampered quickly through the hole. The instant he was out he reached once more to take over.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shimmied free of the cage, biting the inside of his cheek when he clipped his shoulder on the edge of the field. It would be a minor burn at worst, no need to worry the kids.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I need to go get my bag before we leave, it's very important," Ben told them as quietly as he could, "Wait right here, I'll be back as fast as I can, okay?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The children shared worried looks and Aden glared at him; there was a prominent distrust in the boy that he still didn't really understand but there was nothing he could do about it. Ben knew it wasn't ideal, but he couldn't risk them getting caught out in the open, it would be better if it was just him, if he got hurt he'd be fine, the children might not be. The risk was unacceptable, even if they might not see that. Despite their misgivings, they didn't argue and silently shuffled their little group as close to the wall as possible. Aden in the front, shielding the others.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hoping they'd stay put, Ben slipped out of the tarp and slunk as stealthily as he could around the edge of the makeshift base. There was a great deal of junk to hide behind but he was well aware of his size, taller than most and certainly broader. There was no guarantee he'd actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>fit</span>
  </em>
  <span> behind cover so he couldn't be reckless.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could see the two slavers on guard, the Chiss man from earlier and a human man he didn't recognize. Both were talking in a low murmur, leaning over one of the cheap fold-out tables, nursing a bottle each of some kind of liquor, a cursory glance with the Force clearly showed a sluggish haze of intoxication. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Good.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he felt he was close enough to risk it, Ben made a dash for where the bag lay channeling power into his legs and sprinting in what might have looked like a blink or a flash step to an outsider.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The state the remains had been left in sparked a rush of hot anger in his gut. The slavers had indeed dumped out everything onto the ground, there was no sign of the canteen, remaining rations, or even the blanket. The bones had been strewn about, some crushed down into the loam and mud, various footprints marking exactly how. Several of the larger parts had been broken. Ben dug his nails into his palms, taking a deep and hopefully quiet breath to cool his fluctuating temper. Part of him wanted to raise this place to the ground, leave the ashes to be swept away by the swamp. He still remembered how it had felt to feel nothing in regard to where a corpse might fall, but he couldn't recall ever purposefully desecrating one. Kylo's apathy meant he probably wouldn't have cared much about this beyond finding it lowbrow and beneath anyone of real value, he had still valued the remains of things, places, and people who no longer existed after all, even if he couldn't have cared less about their deaths. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, not anymore. He cared. A lot. It was precisely because of that care that meant he would control his anger, channel it into getting these kids home and these remains to their families instead of going on a rampage. Later he would tell the families exactly where these monsters were and they could decide what to do with them. He wasn't sure how noble or right that last thought was, but it was a far cry better than what he would have done before, and it also kept his emotions under control while he gathered each and every small bone, even taking the time to card through the muck with the Force to collect every last sliver and shard. With the blanket gone, there wasn't anything to wrap them in, all he could do for now was put them in the bag and sort them later. Securing the bag over his shoulder he turned to make his way back and froze.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One of the human guards was making his way over to the tarp that hid the children. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A sharp spike of fear jumped in Ben's chest when he felt terror rising in the little ones and he almost gave in to the sudden impulse to run back over. Stealth be damned. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No, calm. Be calm. He didn't have to do anything rash to fix this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben leveled his gaze, unblinking, on the guard. The grungy human man was only a few steps from where the children hid when he slowed and stopped midstep. It was easy to breach his mind, it had no defenses to speak of. The slaver's intent was clear as day, he hadn't heard anything, in fact, that was what had made him go over. The brats were being awfully quiet, it would be fun to shake them up a bit, see if the man they'd caught had up and died on them while he was at it. With a bit of force, Ben gave the man's mind a hard shove. As expected he swayed a bit, hand going up to hold his head. Good. Mouthing the words silently to himself Ben fed him the idea that perhaps he'd drank too much and wasn't feeling very steady on his feet. He should go sit back down, scaring the kids wouldn't be near as fun if he threw up, would it? They might even laugh at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The man easily accepted the idea and unsteadily made his way back to the table, flopping into a chair, and laying his head in his hands. He must have said something because the Chiss man laughed and Ben caught something snide about the weakness of human constitutions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben checked the children as soon as he was back safely behind the tarp. To his relief, aside from some nervous trembles from Fwi-Fwi, and damp eyes from Clif, they were fine. Ben scooped up Grogu with minimal protest, the small green alien demanding more of a perch gripping the collar of his vest then being carried. Fine, as long as he didn't fall off… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden took the initiative and had the other children hold hands in a small line, with him in front. Unsurprisingly, he didn't offer Ben his hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Making their way around the camp was slow going. Each new hiding space they moved to needed to be larger to hide them all, and as close as possible due to so many small legs. They had to wait a few times when some of the slavers roused from their sleep for one reason or another and walked past their current hiding spot. </span>
  <span>As things progressed the children's collective stress grew. Even Grogu was more on edge the farther away they got. They were all doing the very best that they could to be quiet but several times now one of the littlest had failed to fully stifle a squeak or whimper and Ben had to swiftly convince whatever thug noticed that the sound had a different and more acceptable origin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Unfortunately, it was inevitable that such young children would reach their breaking point sooner or later, and the one who did was Clif. They had just made it behind a stack of boxes and scrap metal when the boy made a hitched gasping sound and fell to his knees, curling up in a tight ball and becoming unresponsive. Hoping they were fully hidden Ben turned his attention to the frightened boy. Clif did not respond to any of his attempts to get his attention, the only thing he seemed to respond to was Til holding his hand, which Clif gripped back tight enough that his little knuckles stood out through his skin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben's mind raced, what should he do? His first impulse was to just carry the kid, but with how scared he was, was that a good idea? He might panic further and try to escape Ben's hold and hurt himself, or scream or start bawling, and they'd be caught immediately. Should he say something? What do you say to a scared kid? Something positive? Stop crying, be brave? ... something about that last bit felt sour, he'd never liked hearing that as a kid. Maybe he was going about this all wrong? Anything he thought he </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> say didn't sound right, kids didn't have a lot of life experience but they weren't stupid, they'd recognize an empty platitude if they heard it enough. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps… When he had been little and got scared, what had he wished he could hear?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey," Ben whispered, as loud as he dared, "Clif? Think you can look at me, buddy?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Very slowly the boy lifted his head enough that Ben could just see his eyes peeking up at him. The young mind behind them was a storm of fear, thoughts projected loudly. He was so scared, he wanted to go home, he wanted to see his mother, he wanted to hide under his blanket and hug his Wookie plush as tight as he could!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It's really scary, huh?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clif nodded ever so slightly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You know what?" Ben told him, "I'm scared too. I don't want anyone to get hurt and thinking someone might, makes me scared."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clif raised his head a little more, frame a bit less tense as his confusion that someone so big could be scared, distracted him a little from his fear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"But, I'm still going to keep going and I know you can too. You know how I know?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clif rubbed his nose and shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Because you guys have been really brave all this time. You were all really strong."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clif's eyes lowered and he stared at the mud. His thoughts peppered with doubt. He wasn't brave. He just clung to Til and cried all the time. Til was the brave one…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"That's not true Clif." Ben insisted, "It's okay that you cried and it's okay that you're scared. But you are brave. Brave doesn't mean you're not scared, it means you keep going even when you are." He did his best to help kindle the little spark of hope buried under all of that worry, "You don't have to do it alone, we're going to do it together. Look how far we've already come. We're almost out. You see?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clif turned to look back the way they'd come. Ben could sense him noting each of the things they'd hidden behind, each dim light they'd snuck past. As the boy began to realize how far away the cage really was, Ben could feel that hope becoming a stronger force than his fear. Timidly, but with a lot more courage than he realized, Clif reached out and gripped Ben's arm, using it and the hand of his dearest friend to pull himself back to his feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben didn't really understand why, but Clif's burst of hope was infectious, he could sense the mood of the other children improving, even Aden was less sour. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>From his perch on Ben's shoulder, Grogu trilled softly, patting the human's cheek with his tiny claws. Praise for a job well done? Regardless, the small being was pleased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hadn't been lying, they were almost at the exit, just a bit farther and they'd be out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But, there was just one last obstacle, because the universe couldn't give him a break </span>
  <em>
    <span>just this one time!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was the Chiss man. He'd gotten bored, or hungry, or both, and had gone to raid one of the supply boxes stashed near the pass for a late-night snack. There was no sign he would be leaving anytime soon.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fine! Whatever! They were so close and they weren't stopping now!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The little group made their way towards the opening in the rock face, sticking close to the wall and out of the light. The slaver's back was to them, they weren't going to get a better chance! Just one more dash and they'd be in the pass and out of sight and free!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben sensed the ripple of warning in the Force too late to do anything to stop it. He turned just in time to see Fwi-Fwi slip on a loose piece of moss and tumble onto her front in the mud, the impact knocking the air out of her with a high-pitched squeal!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It felt like everything slowed down. Ben saw Aden jump to put himself in front of the little girl, saw her try to get to her feet, saw the Chiss turn their way, his red eyes widening in surprise, the pilfered treat drop from his hand, his mouth open to shout!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On reflex, Ben moved! Before he could even properly register what he was doing he had cleared the space between them and was driving his fist square into the other man's face!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Chiss dropped like a sack of bricks into the mud, a muffled groan the only sign he was still alive.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben swallowed, flexing his fist to relieve the mild pain in his knuckles, trying to ignore how good it had felt to let this horrid man have it. He hadn't killed him, so he was okay, right?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, painfully, remembering he had an audience, Ben nervously turned to look at the kids. They were all staring at him with wide eyes. Crap. Crap, he'd scared them! Even Grogu, who he couldn’t just see leaning over his shoulder, was staring! His mouth felt dry, his brain buzzed with numerous things he could say to try and rectify this, but they all seemed to be jammed together in his throat and he couldn't get them out!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His rising panic was abruptly halted, with a suddenness that could have given him whiplash, when Aden, Fwi-Fwi close on his heels, marched over to the collapsed Chiss, glared down at him for a hard second or two, then drew back his leg and kicked the man in the stomach with an almost silent grunt. Fwi-Fwi, who'd been wiping her eyes, driving back the tears that had sprung up at her fall, followed suit, kicking the slaver's side with a nearly inaudible squeak.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Almost in a blink Til and Clif crossed the distance and each of them delivered as harsh a blow as a child's foot could to the unconscious man's stomach. Ben felt a ripple in the Force and a small canister that had been resting on the crate the Chiss had been raiding, toppled off, and bounced off his head with a hollow </span>
  <b>
    <em>thunk</em>
  </b>
  <span>. From his shoulder, he heard Grogu exhale roughly through his little nose.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To his mounting shock and confusion, these little outbursts had cut the tension in the children, even Aden didn't look at him quite as harshly. Ben didn't understand… he would have thought that venting their anger and pain this way would have cultured the dark in the children, but it hadn't. He didn't sense the desire to harm or an increase in feelings of hate or violence. If anything they were calmer now, their hurts and fears still present, but it felt like something had been put into perspective… something that brought the little ones a kind of closure...that the being that had hurt them was not an invincible monster, that they could be made to stop?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something about that resonated strangely in his chest…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The children gathered back up, looking to him expectantly. He would have to meditate on that feeling later, the present was far more important.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>          As soon as they left the exit pass their gaggle was hit full-on with the planet's nightly torrential rain. Just as the night before it was a stark contrast to the miserable heat of the day and Ben knew he'd have to get the children dry as soon as possible so they didn't catch cold. Most of them anyway, Fwi-Fwi didn't seem to mind the cold in the slightest. </span>
  <span>The most pressing issue though was how to make their way through the swamp. The dark would have been hard enough to navigate but the deluge made it near impossible to see. The mud was even soupier than during the day and the swamp water had risen several inches. Every surface was slippery and there was far too much to be injured on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was only one solution, the smallest children would have to be carried.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden put up a stink about it, but not in the way Ben had expected him to, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to carry the other children.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben sighed, trying not to be too stern with the boy, "I understand, I promise, but that's not possible. At most you could carry maybe one of them."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Then why do you get to carry them all?" Aden protested, his voice close to breaking a whisper.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"...Aden I'm at least three times your size," Ben told him flatly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The boy's round cheeks puffed up indignantly and his little fists balled up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Diplomacy.</span>
  </em>
  <span> A voice reminded him, sounding awfully like his mother's.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Look," he told the kid, crouching down so they were more eye to eye, "I know you want to but it makes more sense if I carry them. There's something just as important that I need you to do, and only you can do it."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"What's that?" Aden asked warily.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You know where their ship is, I don't. I need you to show us the way." Carefully Ben detached Grogu from his shoulder and handed him to Aden, "Grogu will look out for you and warn you of things you can't see. Right?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu babbled confidently and settled into Aden's arms.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The little Dathomirian gave Ben a good hard look, staring him in the eyes like he might be able to see inside his head, "Okay," he said after a few long seconds, "You better not drop them."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I promise I won't."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          The walk was slow. The lack of light, the rain, mud, and water that was up to Ben's knees and nearly to Aden's waist. The boy walked in front with Ben right behind him. In each arm Ben carried one of the smaller boys, leaning against his chest and holding tight to his vest, both of them hadn't said a word since they'd started out into the swamp. The irritation the rain caused was enough to keep them from falling asleep, but Ben could sense that they were at ease enough to try and rest. He felt pretty good about that fact oddly enough. On his shoulders was Fwi-Fwi, who was still far happier to be in the rain than these silly mammals. She had taken it upon herself to keep Ben's hair out of his face, fiddling with the strange trait her species did not possess. As long as she wasn't pulling on it Ben didn't really care, if it kept her calm and settled her nerves then let her do what she liked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thanks to the Force Ben and Grogu had kept their little group on track and out of any literal pitfalls. What little wildlife that was active this time of night steered clear of them, the closest anything ever came was when something more akin to a snake swam past them in a sharp arc and dove down, disappearing into the mud.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden had a solid sense of direction, Ben would give him that. Not once had he strayed from the direction he'd been leading them, even when they had to go around or avoid something. It was thanks to that that they found the ship as quickly as they did.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How fortunate that made them was up for debate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben had been keeping his senses focused on navigating and so didn't feel the warning chill until he actually saw the ship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sudden bright light burned his eyes and he clenched them shut, instinctively trying to turn his charges away from them when they cried out their own discomfort and alarm!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite the headache, he'd likely earn for it later Ben forced his eyes to focus! The slaver's ship was indeed there, flat and wide like the falcon but at least three times in size and ten times as </span>
  <em>
    <span>ugly</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Its colors had been altered, coated in a similar reddish brown and dark splotches as the swamp; combined with its height stopping just shy of the treetops, it meant that the thing would be very difficult to spot from the air unless you knew what you were looking for.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Its size wasn't just for transporting their "cargo"; oh no, it was to house the couple dozen assorted sentients who comprised its crew. They gathered around it, like insects defending a hive, blasters drawn and pointed at the small party who'd just entered the clearing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Damn it…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, Ben knelt, letting the frightened kids down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well well, hello again hero man," the Chief cackled wickedly, walking leisurely down the access ramp of her ship, "Have to say, I'm a might disappointed in you." She sighed with a mocking drama that had her thugs laughing with cruel amusement. "I had a bad feeling about you from the start. But I've just got such a big ol' heart you know? I like to give everyone a chance."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The group snickered again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It's too bad. You'd have fetched such a good price. You could have been sold to some posh snob looking for a pretty new toy, it would have been so good for you. Now? Well, now I'm gonna sell you to the Huts. If you live."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Aden, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben pushed the thought into the boy's mind as unobtrusively as possible, under regular circumstances he wouldn't do this but he didn't want the slavers to hear him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The boy made a surprised sound and stared up at him in awe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Take the others, there's cover just behind us. Make them keep their heads down, cover their ears, yours too.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden's bravado shook in the wake of the mounting tension, and very real danger, but he would do what he'd been asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Grogu?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>More words weren’t needed, scooping up Ben's bag, the tiny humanoid giggled in a way that was entirely too mischievous for something that cute, and scampered after the others. He would protect them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leaning casually against the landing strut "the Chief" snapped her fingers, "Go get my property back."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The slavers opened fire! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben kept himself resolutely between the children. Based on what their leader said they likely wanted to avoid killing them, but they wouldn't bat an eye if they hurt them, and if they did die they probably wouldn't lose any sleep over it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The downside to this plan was that it left him completely in the open, sight obscured by the lights and the rain, footing uncertain in the mud. He didn't even have a weapon. But, he didn't need to worry about that, he didn't need his eyes, didn't need to worry about his footing, he didn't need a weapon! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben let the Force take over his instincts, all he needed to focus on was his goal of keeping the children safe, getting them home. Aden, Til, Clif, Fwi-Fwi, and Grogu. Those were his priority.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Bolts that would miss he ignored entirely, he skillfully twisted out of the way of some, and blocked others with a flick of his hand!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The energy made his palms tingle and flash with momentary pain when the impacts were forcibly dissipated, but it was nothing. He couldn't keep on the defensive only though and the next bolt that came his way he seized with the Force and flung it back at the shooter! He heard the man drop with a cry, then another, and another! One of the gunmen drew too close and his firearm was yanked from his hands, and he dropped an instant later, a perfect shot between the eyes with his own weapon!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was hard to hear over the roar of the rain and blaster fire, but the Chief was shouting orders; the specifics might elude him, but the general message did not. She recognized that he was Force Sensitive, not in those specific words, but in that it conjured memories of a previous encounter...with a little girl. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The shock of the sudden influx of memory was like being dragged down under the swamp again. Flashes of faces, her mounting fear, the burning anger, and grief when she realized she would never see her family again. Her terror and desperation to survive had given her a burst of strength, she'd torn their guns from them, thrown several bodily into rocks and trees, but it wasn't enough. She was woefully outnumbered and too young to keep her defenses up for long. Even disarmed they had their fists. They'd beaten her until she could no longer move. They continued until she would never move again. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They had no remorse for what they'd done, no guilt, it was just a shame they couldn't sell the little witch to the Imperials, they paid a lot for those. All they had taken from the encounter was what they thought was the best way to deal with people like her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even though his head swam, even though rabid anger snapped at his heels, and he felt like he was drowning again, Ben didn't falter. There were enough of them that he couldn't dodge every blow, but these thugs had made a mistake. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn't an untrained child.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He easily dodged the fist of one thug, and caught the arm of another! The limb dislocated and snapped like a twig when Ben hurled him over his shoulder, a shot from the blaster ensuring his end! Narrowly he ducked the butt of a rifle, delivering a punch of his own to the solar plexus of the woman who held it, backed by the Force the impact stopped her heart instantly and she slumped, wide-eyed and silent, into the mud.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The dark whispered sadistically in the back of his mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He was taking too long, being too defensive.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When the blaster overheated he snatched a vibroblade from another assailant, nimbly slicing the knife across his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He had already realized he'd have to kill them all if he wanted to escape. So why hesitate?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A flick of his wrist sent the blade whistling through the air, punching through the chest of another nameless adversary.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If he stopped trying to make their deaths quick and clean he could be done so much faster. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The knife snapped back to his hand with barely a thought and he blocked someone wielding a heavy metal pipe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He could feel it couldn't he? In his muscles? In his brain? In his </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>bones</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>? That rush, that thrill of cutting an opponent down! He'd spent nearly 16 years, nearly half of his life, massacring those who dared to oppose him! And he still wanted to, didn't he? That craving… like a junky needing a fix… their pain would be delicious, make him strong, soothe that persistent itch...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One of the slavers got lucky and Ben staggered from a blow to the head! These thoughts weren’t helping, why was it so hard to keep himself focused?! Keep his mind on task?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With all these conflicting ideas and emotions it was hard not to think that some part of these intrusive thoughts were right. If he wanted to he could wipe them all out in a matter of moments, rip them to pieces or fry them! ...But, that was wrong. Perhaps he could grab them all at once, but it wouldn't be quick, it would be slow, sadistic. It didn't matter what thrill or emotional high his body remembered, had imprinted in it, he couldn't do that anymore… he couldn't… he couldn't take it, he'd break…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Reality came crashing back down on him when a slaver nearly did the same, sailing just over his head and slamming into one who'd been about to run him through with their own knife.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>How had they gotten behind him?!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Punctuated by a near growl, Ben knocked back the group he'd been dealing with and sprinted for the children's hiding spot! He cursed under his breath when he realized that the group assailing the children was not some lucky few who'd somehow snuck past him. They were the slavers that they'd left back at the camp! They'd been alerted by their leader and had booked it for the landing site!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Young as he was, despite his numerical age, Grogu was no pushover. They may have surrounded the hide he and the others were in but not a single slaver had managed to get close to them. The small humanoid stood perched on Aden's shoulder, a threatening trill coming from his chest, arms raised, a circle of sizable stones floating in the air around the huddled group.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben kicked off the ground, twisting in the air to plant his feet square on the chest of that same Trandoshan woman he'd fought before. The augmented impact slammed her into the ground with a crack like thunder, and the accompanying shockwave knocked the rest of the group over!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The reptilian woman snarled and snapped her jaws, closing on air when he dodged. &lt;Oh that's it!&gt; She shrieked, spitting like a viper, &lt;I'm going to rip out your throat and eat your kriffing bones!&gt;</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben pitched back, rolling out of the way, leading her away from the group. That was one less for Grogu to deal with. He could sense the little being's assurance that he could deal with the rest of them but Ben still wanted to keep as many of these monsters as far from the children as possible.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Skilled as he may have been, the sheer numbers were getting harder to keep track of and more than once Ben nearly got a limb caught in his main opponent's jaws while trying to avoid a shot from another! Since he didn't have a saber he still had to wait for the right moment to strike the Trandoshan or he wouldn't be able to punch through her tough hide.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn't wait for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span> moment though and he dove for her the instant he saw a viable opening! With a shout, he buried the vibroblade deep into a gap between the slaver's armor and the main joint of her arm! As soon as he felt the skin give he pushed hard on the knife with the Force, jamming it down past her ribcage!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The massive body shuddered against him, hot arterial blood scalded over his cold fingers where it had been severed at her bicep. There was a weeping hacking sound, and an unpleasant mix of saliva and blood splattered over his head, from the jaws that had been mere millimeters away from snapping shut on his skull. Her body collapsed and hit the ground with an audible thud.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben stared down at her crumpled corpse, a strange cold numbness spreading through him, like the rain that was already washing away her blood from his body. He almost wanted to laugh at his sudden desire to apologize to her…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was another thought that would have to wait until much later, there was something far </span>
  <em>
    <span>far </span>
  </em>
  <span>more important that needed his attention, now, </span>
  <em>
    <span>now, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>NOW!</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His breath caught in his throat and his head snapped back towards the ship. The remaining slavers had backed off and the reason why was staring him in the face! The ship's main gun had turned to face him, whether it'd been holding to see if the Trandoshan won or if the Chief just had a love for extensive drama he didn't know. In a second it wouldn't matter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sensed Grogu reaching out for something and he flung out his arm to assist! With a joint cry, they flung the massive tree they'd uprooted in the way of the shot in the nick of time! There was a high-pitched shriek, all the water inside of the plant vaporizing in a single instant, and Ben was knocked back by the force of the resulting explosion! He slid several feet back through the mud, stopped none too gently by the rock that made up the main portion of the children's cover! Even with his ears ringing he could hear them crying, feel their terror! It spiked even higher when the gunner fired blindly through the smoke the tree had left behind, showering them with dirt and small debris!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This was bad! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Very very bad!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He locked eyes with Grogu, scraps of ideas flitting between the two of them in that brief moment. There was only one among them that </span>
  <em>
    <span>might</span>
  </em>
  <span> work. Or rather only one they could do with only a second or two to react!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pushing back up to his feet, Ben flicked his fingers and the temporary smoke screen was swept aside! At the same time, he felt Grogu's tiny claws dig into his shoulder, hopping on to get a proper vantage point.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The little one took a deep breath, lifting a hand towards the slavers. Various cries of confusion and panic filled the air, they would all do no good, for the moment at least Grogu held every single one of them locked in place. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben reached out as well, not to the slavers but to the ship. This was his part of their desperate bid and he needed to do it before Grogu was worn out. Weight and size meant nothing to the Force but mass was another matter, the energy needed to move something with a large amount of mass or moving at tremendous speed was far more taxing than something with less of either, and this ship was anything but. The demand was intense but Ben certainly had the strength to pay it and with a groan of protesting metal, the hellish ship began to rise off the ground.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben grit his teeth and kept his eyes locked, unblinking, on his target. Up it rose, as fast as he could get it to without risking it sheering itself apart. Higher and higher until it cleared the treetops, then higher still. When it reached a level that he desperately hoped was high enough Ben snapped his open hand into a fist, shouting with the effort!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hadn't let loose his pain and anger on the slavers during the fight, but now he allowed it free in a burst of power! The metal of the ship shrieked and roared as it crumpled in on itself like a paper ball! The ship's core buckled and caved, and the whole ship went up! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The explosion was brighter than even the daylight, a blue-white, that hurt, cutting behind Ben's eyelids! The snap </span>
  <b>BANG</b>
  <span> of it breaking the sound barrier rattled him down to his bones, and the shockwave chucked him like a ragdoll! Instinctively he grabbed Grogu and held him tight to his chest, shielding him with his arms!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Surely, Ben thought dizzily to himself, a signal that bright, loud, and obvious, </span>
  <em>
    <span>must </span>
  </em>
  <span>be impossible to miss…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Groggily, Ben tried to clear his head, move his body, but still woefully stunned and disoriented by the explosion it didn't want to cooperate…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He heard sounds approaching as if from deep underwater. Voices? Small... nervous… emotions that weren't his own clattered insistently around in his skull…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The kids…?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He blinked blearily, vision sliding in and out of focus, in and out of darkness. Yes, it was the kids. They were alright, good… They were leaning over him, upside down and sideways. Funny trick… They all looked worried, felt worried. He was fine though, more or less, just had his brain banged around a bit, give it a second, he'd be back to normal once the world stopped sloshing around like a transport hitting atmo wrong…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The little ones all cried out, a mix of fear and anger! Protests that fell on the uncaring ears of the figure who leaned down and hauled Ben up by his hair!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite his best efforts he just couldn't make things fall into place properly, the only thing he could seem to do is keep his smallest charge held tight and protected and hope the others stayed back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That was probably too much to hope for. More muddy shouting, one of the kids...Aden? It was Aden. He was yelling at whoever was yanking him up at this painful angle. There was a sharp slap and something falling, then the stifled whimpers of someone trying not to cry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hot fury cut through his fuzzy brain and the world shuddered back into sluggish focus. He could make out now, the helmeted face of the slaver’s Chief, hear her breath, harsh through her teeth, amplified by the vocoder in her mask. He could also feel the shape of her blaster pressed murderously under his jaw. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"How dare you," she hissed at him, "You freak! Coming in here, slaughtering my crew, destroying my ship!" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben did his best to keep her in his sights, but it was proving difficult, she'd taken to shaking him violently while she spoke. If he could just catch her eyes long enough he could do something.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll get a new ship soon enough and there's plenty of my people still alive, but it's the principle of the thing, you see?" She dug the barrel of her gun harder into the soft flesh of the underside of his jaw. "I would love nothing more than to make you suffer, carve off all your skin in strips, break every bone in your body into splinters, rip out your guts while you're still alive. But, I'm not stupid, you're too dangerous to live, so now you die." Her voice softened, akin to that of a parent trying to soothe a child, or a lover trying to assure a worried partner, "You made it really far, hero man. Be grateful, you won't be alive to see what I do to you afterward."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of a blaster shot broke out over the rain and The Chief jerked sideways, an ark of crimson blossoming from the perfect hole through her helmet, straight through her temple! Shouts rang out among the surviving slavers! More shots were being fired!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His blance badly shaken by the loss of the Chief's unintentional support, Ben nearly faceplanted into the mud next to the fresh corpse, but, at last, it seemed the shock had begun to wear off and his body finally obeyed him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His first impulse was to look around frantically for the children. They weren't far. Ben forced himself up on weak legs and stumbled the few feet to the children. The younger three were huddled around Aden, the boy was nursing a nasty blow just under his left eye and it quickly dawned on Ben that the sounds of a scuffle he'd heard before must have been Aden trying to get between him and the slaver's leader. She'd backhanded him with her gauntleted hand hard enough to break the skin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Pushing back his remaining dizziness, Ben knelt beside them and it didn't even occur to him to be uneasy when the small gaggle ran to him, holding tight to his shirt and vest, muffling nervous tears. He beckoned to Aden and surprisingly the boy came closer. He winced in pain when Ben rested his fingers against the injury but soon his expression shifted to surprise as it dissipated and the wound healed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Healing a person with the Force, Ben was quickly discovering, was not a one-to-one exchange. He felt a noticeable drain even for something this small, he would need to be mindful of that, this was a new skill, after all, learned from Rey via osmosis, and future practice would certainly be needed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You did really well, all of you," he told them and moved to awkwardly pat Aden's head in a way he hoped was supportive, "Especially you, I don't like that you got hurt but, since I think you probably saved my life, I don't think I can be mad at you."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The child huffed and looked away but Ben didn't miss the faint reddening of his cheeks, even in the low light.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Immediate panic dealt with he could now check on Grogu. The little being was still gripping onto his shirt and still seemed to be alright if a little tired. His large eyes were otherwise still clear and focused, peering over his little shoulder at something farther away. The child radiated reassurance, things would be okay, they would be safe now he was certain. Ben couldn't help but sigh in relief. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lifted his own eyes to where Grogu was looking, and it occurred to him then that he'd never actually seen the tiny humanoid's guardian before… until now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben could distinguish him easily in the Force, he felt like a sharp, snapping, vibrant, green. Visually he was all but a shadow in the pitch black, with each shot from his blaster and return shots from the remaining slavers he was lit up. He was armored, polished to what must be a brilliant sheen to reflect each burst of laser fire this way, the design was familiar though Ben had only seen it in pictures contained in the materials he read extensively when he was younger. A Mandalorian. It was almost ridiculous how he didn't go for cover like most people would, though the reason why was made clear; every once and a while a slaver's shot would actually hit him only to deflect impotently off of his armor. Nearly every shot the man fired hit its mark; and when one of the thugs stupidly tried to rush him, the Mandalorian knocked his legs from under him and swiftly ran him through with a metal spear he detached from his back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was the real deal, not a pretender wearing fake armor for intimidation. Even seeing him this briefly Ben could see why the Mandalorians had gone down in history as the only Force-null group to ever be able to go toe to toe with a Jedi and win.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A part of Ben -one he still wasn't sure was okay or not- which held a deep adoration for combat, was positively smitten. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu snickered at him and Ben flushed in embarrassment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon the laser fire finally stopped and the sound of purposeful boot steps approached them. Ben looked up, locking eyes, (probably) with the Mandalorian. The only new thing Ben noted about his appearance was a relief of a mud horn on his right pauldron, otherwise, the armor was completely blank. A family sigil, maybe? Squad logo?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu squirmed in Ben's arms and he let the little one down. Babbling and cooing in delight the youngling ran over and threw his arms around the Mandalorian's leg.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other man bent down and picked the child up, holding him carefully in his arms. Even with his stiff, no-nonsense, posture, his relief and affection were palpable. He had yet to speak and had returned to simply looking at them. He shifted his weight slightly to his back leg and Ben got the hint; he wanted to leave and was waiting for them to follow him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben didn't like talking either but would have killed the Mando to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>say</span>
  </em>
  <span> what he wanted?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ushering the little ones, Ben picked them up as he had before, Clif and Til in an arm each and Fwi-Fwi on his back. To his surprise, rather than keeping pace on his own, Aden took hold of the hem of Ben's vest and stood silently beside him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, that was unexpected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Mandalorian led the way through the swamp, to his ship. Now that all the excitement was over and the adrenaline was wearing off, Ben was starting to feel that bone-deep exhaustion again, and he was thankful that they didn't have to go far.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The ship itself was… Not quite what he'd expected to be honest. It was a much older model, a transport or scout ship maybe? Probably up there with the Falcon in terms of manufacturing date, maybe even earlier, and it uh...looked kind of...crap?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they paused for the Mandalorian to open the hatch Ben squinted at the small characters that made up what he assumed was the ship's name. The Razor Crest 2.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Huh. If this flying metal death trap was two, wonder what had happened to one…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          The interior wasn't much better than the exterior. It wasn't terribly spacious, but that wasn't the issue, neither was the Carbonite storage racks they passed, that just meant this guy was a bounty hunter, which wasn't a problem unless you had a bounty on your head, and Ben didn't, at least not at the moment... No, what stuck out was how jury-rigged the place was, stacks of things secured with netting and rope, various pieces of equipment and appliances bolted (barely) to the walls, or hanging precariously by wires and cables. For the first time in a great many years, Ben felt his hands itch with the desire to pull this place apart and </span>
  <em>
    <span>fix it. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That hadn't happened since… Since the Falcon… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Daaaad, come on! Just let me fix it! I'm small enough, I can get inside and switch out the filters, one and done! Pleeeeeease? It's so baaaaad!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as they got inside, the bounty hunter set Grogu down on the floor and promptly left them to, presumably, climb into the cramped ship's cockpit.  Which left  Ben, alone, sopping wet from head to toe, with five equally drenched, and miserable, children.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At a loss, Ben looked to Grogu for some kind of clue as to what they were supposed to do. Grogu's ears flicked at the unspoken question and he happily led the group to a small cramped fresher where they could clean up. Trying not to worry about whether he was doing any of this remotely right or not Ben wasted no time getting them clean, wrapping each child snugly in one of the drying clothes he found crammed in one of the storage compartments. He almost wept in relief when their little green guide brought his attention to a small machine they could use to clean and dry their clothes. When the children were done Ben shooed them out and got to work ridding himself of what mud and blood still stuck to his skin, hair, and clothes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Somewhere during this process, the ship took off and he could feel the hum of its internals through the uneven metal of the floor.  It felt strangely warm on his bare feet, (goodbye boots, I knew thee but briefly) it was oddly comforting... When he left the fresher his nose was immediately met with the smell of food and he spotted the children, plus Grogu, gathered around a large pot that had been set out on the floor, each of them sipping from small bowls.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben looked at them questioningly and Fwi-Fwi piped up, "The armor man brought it out for us! There's lots!" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu chirped his agreement, holding up his tiny cup towards Ben.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Looking over the small group Ben shook his head, "I'm alright, you all eat as much as you want." These kids hadn't gotten a proper meal in Whills knew how long, they should get to eat to their heart's content.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hadn't expected them to look upset by this. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu's face twisted in a frown, "Beh-Lo," he chirped the man's name in irritation, holding the cup up again, shaking it in Ben's direction, "Beh-Lo, no,"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben started in surprise, he was being scolded? Wasn't it the right thing to do, to make sure the children ate everything they wanted first?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Adding to Ben's utter shock it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Clif </span>
  </em>
  <span>who next spoke, "You should eat. It's good." He ventured, voice almost a whisper, averting his eyes immediately after.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stunned into compliance, Ben sat down in the space the children had left for him and reached for a larger bowl that was clearly meant for him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The soup itself was relatively simple, but it was hot, and after the chill the rain had seeped into his skin, it was exactly what he needed. The children talked quietly while they ate, nothing overly significant, just small meaningless things to fill the quiet. Honestly, Ben had been expecting them to talk about home, about the parents they would be reunited with, the things they were excited to do, he could feel an air of hesitation in all but Grogu, like they weren't entirely sure they weren't going to wake up back in the cage… He could feel how exhausted they were too, and now that they were properly fed, they were slowly losing the battle against sleep, their worry and what adrenaline they had left would only hold out so long. They'd probably be out within the next hour or so whether they liked it or not. He probably would too, in all honesty, his long-standing injuries might be gone but that didn't do anything for running out of stamina, and as he'd said, a warm filling meal certainly made you want to crash out. However, much as he might want to sleep he couldn't just yet. He had two things left to do before he could rest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After he'd finished his second bowl, at the children's insistence, he excused himself, taking the shoulder bag and climbing the small ladder into the ship's cockpit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          The Mandalorian's irritation at his intrusion lashed around in the Force like the tail of an angry loth cat. No surprise, but unfortunately Ben did need to ask him for permission before just traipsing around the ship. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I know this is a weird question," best to just acknowledge that from moment one, "do you mind if I use the floor here for a few minutes? I have…some remains," he lifted the bag awkwardly to prove in some strange way that he did indeed have a bag of bones, "I need to sort them, for the families…" that sounded a bit insane when he said it out loud, "I don't want to do it where the kids might see."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Mandalorian was silent for an uncomfortably long time, but he hadn't said no yet… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you from the same colony?" The other man finally said, his voice was distorted slightly by the helmet but it carried the roughness that Ben had been expecting it to. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It almost reminded him of Re- no, best not to think about him. He hadn't in over a decade he wasn't going to start ripping into that scar just yet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"No," he answered, worried that might not be enough of an answer Ben added, "I was just there too and I couldn't leave them like that."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of replying the Mandalorian said nothing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taking that as permission, Ben sat as far against the wall of the small space as he could, both to not be in the way but also to give himself enough room to work. He did so in silence, letting the Force guide his hand, separating each bone or fragment into a separate small pile. The bones that had originally drawn him to the morbid graveyard proved to be mildly difficult. Not in finding them, that was very obvious, but due to the fragments of vivid memory that bombarded him every time he picked them up. Ben had seen death before, farther back than even his fall to the Darkside, but it was still disconcerting to touch one of the small bones and momentarily feel the sharp sensation of being struck in the head or catching a momentary glimpse of a pale, bloody, half skeletal, Twi'lek child looming over him like some ghoulish specter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was so disconcerting in fact that it wasn't until he was done sorting that Ben remembered that he didn't have the blanket to wrap the bones in anymore. He cursed angrily in his head, staring at the piles like a moron, trying to figure out what he could do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The bounty hunter surprised him by getting out of the pilot's seat and Ben realized that he'd been watching him for at least a couple of minutes now. The man sidestepped the morbid arrangement and disappeared down the small adjoining hallway. A moment later he returned and handed Ben a worn piece of cloth, what it had originally been, a blanket, cloak, or something else, he wasn't sure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You can rip that up if you need to," the Mandalorian said as he returned to his chair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank you," Ben replied.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His host didn't say anything further.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not wanting to overstay his tenuous welcome, Ben quickly and carefully wrapped each of the many piles in small parcels torn from the original cloth he'd been given, packing each neatly in the bag for hopefully the last time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Getting back to his feet he offered the other man a polite half-bow, "Thank you, again."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't get a response, as it seemed was the norm for this man, but he did sense a change in his mood. Familiarity was far too strong a word, but there was a hint of something like recognition or maybe empathy. The Mando had been reminded of something and was mulling it over. Well, that was a good sign? Maybe?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped so, wouldn't want to get spaced so soon after having finally succeeded at something that was actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>          The children were waiting for him when he climbed back down the short ladder. They were doing their utmost to look like they weren't but the way they were not so subtly peeking his way was terribly obvious. To Ben's relief, they hadn't created any additional chaos, there were far too many things in here a curious youngling could use to explode themselves.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Though Grogu hadn't managed to do that so perhaps he wasn't giving the kids enough credit?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever the reason, the atmosphere was far more relaxed now, and Ben made to take a seat against the only clear section of the wall. Actually, he was sure it was probably a secondary entry hatch, but it wasn't like the thing was going to pop open if he was leaning on it. At least it better not.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He settled easily into a meditative posture but didn't close his eyes, he knew he'd be out if he did. Rey appeared the instant he reached out to her like she'd been waiting for his call. It warmed his chest to think that she may have indeed been. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ben! </span>
  </em>
  <span>She smiled brilliantly and looked him up and down, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You must have been through something exciting</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she teased, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you feel completely recovered but your clothes make it look like something tried to eat you!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben flushed slightly at her assessment, suddenly far more aware of the many holes and rips in his clothing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It wasn't Bruce if that's what you're thinking, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he replied mentally, not wanting to confuse the children or have them overhear anything that might upset them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey laughed softly to herself and settled into a more comfortable seat in front of him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay, tell me what happened.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben recounted the events of the day, and well, the night too, as best he could. Some parts were harder to articulate so he let her see his memories, he still felt no fear at all at letting her have access to his mind. Rey for her part, took the rollercoaster of experiences as much in stride as possible, though her worry for him was sharp, and her relief at his safety almost overwhelming. When he'd finally finished she was looking at him with some concern, which he'd expected, and with...pride?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm glad you were able to help them, Ben, I knew you would, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she told him, the gentle smile she wore was quickly becoming one he loved, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I feel your pain for those it wasn't possible to save, for the girl who called you to them. I think the echo of her you've picked up will be able to let go once they're all home. Their families will be grateful for the closure. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They would, he knew, but he was still finding it a bit hard to be proud of what he'd done…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Something is still bothering you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey said, she gently touched his face, encouraging him to look up at her. When had he started staring at the floor?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No, it's- </span>
  </em>
  <span>He stopped himself, there was no point in lying, she'd know immediately and he couldn't bear to make her sad. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's difficult. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He admitted, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know it's at least partially my fault this even happened to them. I might be able to get away with saying that at the beginning I couldn't do anything to stop the Trooper program, but I was in charge of everything near the end Rey and I didn't care at all what was happening…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Admitting that to another person stung sharply and he must not have had as tight a grip on his emotions as he would have liked because Grogu immediately looked his way. Ben smiled weakly at the child until he turned back around.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I know, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey told him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm afraid that I don't know what's best to say. I do feel like it's not as simple as you make it sound like it would have been, both because of the state you were in and because of how the rest of the order would have reacted to you trying to shut the program down. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She exhaled slowly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>But that's just speculating… It's already happened and it can't be changed, what matters is what you do now and perhaps this is small in comparison but it has made a difference, those children are safe now, they'll be returned to the people who love them. That's four </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>entire</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> lives Ben and all the effects they'll have on the lives of others. That's anything but insignificant.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn't argue with Rey's point, but the guilt was still present. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There was something else…</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ben began hesitantly, fighting to keep his surge of anxiety locked down so Grogu wouldn't notice it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>When I fought the slavers I… I almost lost control and it's not the first time. When they were going to beat Aden, I almost strangled one of them to death. When I was fending them off I wanted to hurt them, I wanted them to suffer. Worse than that, when I was fighting, I was excited, I liked it…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey listened to him silently, her expression betrayed nothing but her emotions couldn't be hidden while they were talking like this. She was worried for him, wishing she had a more concrete answer for what plagued him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don't know that I have an answer for that either. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She admitted a second time </span>
  <em>
    <span>When I see things that are wrong I get angry too and there is a part of me that wants to make the people responsible pay. But, it's not my place to do that, and being cruel to them in spades doesn't make me feel any better. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She was talking about her final fight with him, how horrible she'd felt when she'd stabbed him... </span>
  <em>
    <span>That's the most important thing I think. You did have to kill some of them to protect the children, if you didn't they would have taken them again, that's correct?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yes, it was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>When you killed them how </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>did</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> you feel?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aside from the darkness nipping at his heels, trying to goad him into making them suffer when he had killed them he…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he finally said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't feel anything. Not happy or angry, I didn't feel better or worse. Now that it's over I just feel confused…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey hummed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>So you felt an impulse to make them suffer, but both those times you stopped yourself, and now that it's over you feel guilty for having that impulse and you aren't glad you killed them but you're not upset either, ultimately you feel worse because you enjoyed the fight itself?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> The fight with the Trandoshan came to mind, how challenging it was with it's restrictions. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey fiddled with her hands, </span>
  <em>
    <span>All I can think to say is that I think that's the part that matters the most. It's the fighting that you enjoy, not the killing. I wish I had more than that to offer. I know I'm a knight now, and I'm supposed to have all the answers…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't expect you to. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben insisted, much as he might want a clear-cut verdict for how he felt, a ready solution to what still plagued him, he knew Rey shouldn't be made to feel like she was the one who had to find them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's more than enough that you're willing to listen to me. I've never opened up to anyone before, I never trusted them or myself enough. You're the first one I wasn't... afraid of.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To his surprise, rather than replying, Rey pushed up on her knees, leaned forward, and put her arms around him. One hand settled gently on his back the other at the base of his skull. He almost gave in to the urge to return the embrace, but he was still painfully aware that he wasn't alone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She told him softly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You don't know what it means to hear you say that. I do want you to be able to talk to other people, you deserve to. But, I'm honored that you're placing so much trust in me, I know how hard it is.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was. He'd taken a few steps though, small as they were, at least that was something…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't know that we can help how we feel when we see something we know is wrong. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey reiterated </span>
  <em>
    <span>I think what's most important is how we express those feelings in our actions. And, I'll be honest, I've felt a rush too when I fight or practice. I feel like I want to see how far I can go, what my limits are, it's exciting. I don't know that it's wrong to want that, as long as no one is getting unduly hurt or is being killed for the sake of it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe. It sounded right, but Ben still wasn't sure that he wasn't just hearing what he wanted to.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Can I ask you something?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wordlessly he told her, yes, sudden anxious anticipation fluttering around in his stomach.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>When you come back when everything is settled down, would you duel me? Just for fun? I want to see how strong we both are and maybe it will help make it clear what you're feeling?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was horribly embarrassing the way his heart jumped and his insides squirmed. You'd think he was some fumbling preteen being asked on his first date- not that anyone had ever done that, Jedi rules and all, but still.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I- yes, I will. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Even in his head, he stumbled on his words, how embarrassing… </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'd like that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He added, trying to sound more- was professional the right word? Reserved?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey hugged him tight before letting go and settling back down as before, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good! And you have something specific to look forward to when you get back.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yes, he supposed he did.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He made to say something more, ask about the negotiations perhaps, but his words were stolen by a sudden yawn. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey had the gall to </span>
  <em>
    <span>giggle</span>
  </em>
  <span> at him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You should lay down, </span>
  </em>
  <span>She teased, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can tell how tired you are.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If I lay down I'm going to fall asleep. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben grumped.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That's fine, I don't mind if you do. My day wasn't nearly as exciting as yours was. I can regale you in as much excruciating detail as you want every stuffy bit of today's negotiations. The main topic was speculative water management for the next 50 years. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>See, that's the sort of thing you don't want to miss. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben joked, laying on the sarcasm thick.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey watched him slouch out of his meditative pose and look around for where might be a good place to lay down. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You're adorable when you're tired</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she observed with no small amount of amusement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben couldn't keep from side-eyeing her, giving up on finding anything more comfortable than just the floor, </span>
  <em>
    <span>And how's that? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He challenged, all but flopping down on his side, an arm tucked under his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey hummed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t check yourself so often. You're more relaxed, less hidden, more of you is out in the open.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Don't be afraid of what other people will think. Just… be yourself. The rest will follow."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ben? Who's Tai? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben tensed, he had all but blocked Tai from his memory. Just recalling his words now, even unconsciously, felt like a serious slip and having been prominent enough for Rey to ask. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>raw</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He was...Tai was another student at the temple. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben managed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don't think I'm ready to talk about him just yet. I’m sorry. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Understatement. Tai had been- he'd been Tai. The final crack that made him fa-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It's okay, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey's voice and presence grounded him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry, I didn't know.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It's not your fault. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Part of him wanted to fall to pieces, to cling to her and confess the cruelest of his sins...but he hadn't been lying, he couldn't do it yet, the words and memories were locked down tight in his chest, and refused to come out, and besides, he was still very much not alone on his end.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He felt her hand on his back, </span>
  <em>
    <span>You're okay Ben. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben exhaled slowly, emotions evening out again as he made his body relax.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you want to hear about water management? </span>
  </em>
  <span>She asked, partially a gentle joke and partially an offer of something else to think about.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Please.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Let's see, the main issue is- oh, who's that?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben blinked, following her gaze to a dangerously wobbling pile of... blankets? He sat up, making out the edge of a pointy green ear sticking out from behind the stack.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Grogu?" Ben called.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The giant pile wobbled more and the child in question chirped in acknowledgment from behind the stack.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh! That's Grogu? I can't see him but his presence in the Force is so prominent when he's near you!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rising from where he'd been laying Ben lifted the pile from the little creature's arms</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu squeaked indignantly. No no, he could do this himself!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben huffed a laugh, "Alright, if you say so. I'll take one and put the rest back." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He watched Grogu toddle off towards the other children, blinded once again by the comically large stack. Okay, he could admit that was cute.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He's very headstrong, isn't he? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rey chuckled to herself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he was the one you said called you to the planet, right? The Force is very strong in him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It is, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben agreed, spreading out the blanket he'd been given so he would have something softer to lay on, the air was fairly warm so he assumed he would be fine on that front,  </span>
  <em>
    <span>He has a lot of strength to draw from and he knows a lot of fairly advanced skills, but, I remember him getting tired out easily and I think that might still be the case.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey perched by him again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>He might need someone to help him with that. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben agreed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>He did train at the temple for a bit, I was still really young, just turned 10, so I don't remember every little detail. But, at one point my Uncle said something about him having reached the end of his current path and to return when it brought him back to the temple again. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He frowned, turning from his side to his back, looking at the ceiling, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm still not sure what that meant. Maybe he didn't want to be a Jedi? Just learn to control his emotions and then go back home?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Perhaps,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rey mused, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Or maybe it just wasn't time yet. He does age a lot slower than we do, maybe he just wasn't old enough to take the next step?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe… Well, if Grogu did want to learn more, and if his guardian allowed it, he could let them know how to find Rey. She'd make a good teacher, she was kind and understanding, and she'd probably like how cute the little fella was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another yawn escaped before he could stifle it. He hadn't realized how oddly comfortable he was. The material of the blanket kept the floor from rubbing unpleasantly against his back, but the warmth the metal exuded was seeping up through the fabric, and there was a slight vibration from the ship's internals, and the mild hum of the light-speed drive…there was that feeling of nostalgia again…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To her credit Rey didn't even bat an eye when he blinked entirely too slowly, instead, she returned to the nearly forgotten topic of just what had been discussed at that day's meeting. Ben's sluggish brain wasn't doing a good job of following it but that wasn't really the point. His eyes began to stay closed for longer periods of time and distantly he thought he ought to do something to thank her… she'd gone through a lot of trouble for him, even when she really didn't have to...so he should do something nice for her…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...Ben wasn't sure if he'd actually fallen asleep or was just about to when a sudden weight on his chest snapped him back to awareness. He flinched despite himself and nearly sat bolt upright.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Propped up on his elbows he took in Fwi-Fwi where she was half flopped onto his chest, looking up at him with wide nervous eyes, the flats of her ears darkening with embarrassment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"S-sorry," the little Gungan tripped over her apology, "I didn't mean to be bad. I got scared and… Fwi-Fwi is sorry…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Why-? No, it's fine, it just startled me, that's all," Ben reassured her, partially embarrassed himself at being so spooked by physical contact with another person. He didn't have this problem with Rey, but anyone else was still setting him off… "if you're scared you can sleep here." He'd done that enough himself when he was little, he knew that was normal for kids at least.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He relaxed as best he could and lay back down. Fwi-Fwi mumbled a happy little, "thank you Mr. Ben!" and scooted up across his chest again, dragging her blanket with her. At first, he wasn't sure exactly what she was doing but when she finally settled and flipped the large flap of her ear out of the way, her unease gave way to sleepy contentment, and he realized she'd been searching for his heartbeat. Oh. There was something kind of tenderly adorable about that. Well, if it helped her sleep he was fine with that. He didn't move much unless he had a nightmare, so barring that he wasn't overly worried about flinging her across the room or something.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What he didn't realize though was that the other children had taken his acceptance of Fwi-Fwi as permission. Just a few moments after she settled he felt the weight of two more small bodies against his stomach. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Inclining his head enough to look, he spotted Clif and Til, they'd tossed one blanket over him, and we're curled up together beneath the other, using his stomach as a pillow. Ben blinked slowly at the sight then lay his head down again. Okaaaay… Well, these kids had been through hell so it made sense they'd want to be comforted, so if it made them feel better then he could put up with being a human pillow for one night. Though where was-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He heard the padding of slightly larger feet and his half-formed question was answered when Aden tiptoed around him and all but wedged himself between Ben's side and the wall, wrapped in his own blanket like a prickly cocoon.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To Ben's surprise, instead of staying that way, Aden uncurled enough to reach out and take hold of his shirt, pressing his face against his side, forcing Ben to move his arm so that it lay curled around the boy. He was further surprised when instead of being irritated Aden's emotions shifted to feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>protected</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That was...very unexpected. Honestly, it was the last thing Ben expected anyone to feel about him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," the boy whispered, and it was only thanks to his Force strengthened senses that Ben heard him at all, "You really did save us."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You don't need to be sorry," Ben answered, projecting more into the child's mind than he was vocalizing it, "I said I would get you all out and I did."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden's grip on his shirt tightened slightly, "The other guy didn't… They caught another man before, locked him up with us. He said he'd rescue us too. Even got us out of the cage. But when the bad guys caught us, he pushed me down and ran away… He let them drag me back...They broke one of my horns…" His frown could be clearly heard in his voice, "I heard the slavers laughing that they'd killed him, and I thought it served him right…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hesitantly, Ben softly pet the boy's head, "It's okay to be mad." He assured him, "it was awful to do that to you. It's not your fault, don't let the anger define you."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden sniffed a little and made a noncommittal sound.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I mean it," Ben insisted, "Sometimes the universe asks us to do things that aren't fair. When faced with that you went above and beyond anything you should ever have had to do. You took it on yourself to keep all the other kids safe, they're all here now thanks to you Aden."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The boy trembled and it was soon clear that he was crying silently.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It's okay to cry," Ben whispered when he felt tendrils of self-loathing beginning to appear, "Everyone does there's nothing to be ashamed of. Just let it out, okay?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He felt Aden nod and kept running his head reassuringly until the tears stopped.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They didn't talk any further but Ben was relieved to feel Aden's pain lessening. It would be something he would have to deal with again in the future but for now, at least he could sleep properly. Reaching out with the Force Ben carefully encouraged the new feeling of calm and within a few moments his breathing evened out and the child was asleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thank goodness. He might not be sure how best to handle them but that didn't mean he wanted them to suffer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I stand corrected, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>this </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>is the most adorable thing I've ever seen.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben felt a hot flush across his cheeks and his eyes snapped to the side where Rey sat, grinning cheekily at him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It's not…</span>
  </em>
  <span> he tried and failed to protest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey stared intently at him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm committing this to memory, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she answered his unspoken question, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can't take a holo image of it so this is the next best thing. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Her grin took on a wicked, mischievous, edge, </span>
  <em>
    <span>And any time you insist you can't be cute I'm going to beam the image right into your brain!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite himself, Ben felt a tinge of anxious humiliation creeping into his thoughts. Rey's expression faltered and he felt guilty when she hurried to do damage control.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Ben I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to mock you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She told him sadly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I just wanted to…</span>
  </em>
  <span> she paused, choosing her words,</span>
  <em>
    <span> I don't want you to think you can't be cute, or gentle, or tender. I really want you to see that.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Please don't be sorry, </span>
  </em>
  <span>He pleaded, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know you weren't teasing me to be cruel or humiliate me. I'm the one reacting poorly.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey hummed but did acquiesce, </span>
  <em>
    <span>It does feel like I'm getting to see something special, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she mused, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know just how strong you are both physically and with the Force, but that sort of strength wasn't what these kids needed right now. But, you figured that out right away, empathized with them, and it's so very precious that they trust you so soon after going through something so terrible.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was an echo there, a reflection of the source of his own empathy, the errant thought of "I wish someone could have been there for me like that."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Rey…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She shushed him gently, smiling with mirth, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm alright. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She reached down and ran her fingers gently through his hair, in a similar way that Ben had soothed Aden, her smile grew when he tilted his head into it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she said softly, and her words were laced with power, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you don't need to worry, everything is alright, go to sleep...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>          The tiny storage holds hidden in the floor of his dad's ship were very cozy. He'd been making a habit more and more often of taking naps there, where it was warm from the engine and he could both hear and feel the vibration of the ship as it jumped through hyperspace. </span>
  <span>It made his bad dreams go away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His dad was funny. He knew Ben liked to hide down here but he could never seem to actually find him. That's how he was able to keep sneaking aboard. He was getting very good at being sneaky! His dad hadn't noticed him at all on their last adventure! Until they touched down anyway… Then he'd leashed him to one of the support beams and left him with his toys and yes Ben did like his toys but that wasn't fair! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wanted to go on adventures too! He was smaller than his dad and his uncle but he wasn't a baby! He wasn't going to get hurt! He could already jump up way higher than either of them, he could make stuff move around without touching it, and he was starting to understand when the outside feeling was trying to warn him about something! It was all about the colors, not the ones you could see with your eyes but the other ones, the ones that told him secrets. Secret voices when people weren't saying things, secret pictures that other people couldn't see, a whole spectrum of pretty colors all over his skin, blending with all the other colors on all the other people and in the air and on his toys and books and everything else!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Like those pretty flappy flutter bugs met on the last adventure! The ones that were all glowy and blue and shed little crystals off of their wings. He liked them, they were nice, and they sounded like sunshine, like that pretty lady he saw in the dreams that were all fuzzy and made him feel all dissolvey like sand. He liked those.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was all done sleeping though, he'd been all snuggled up, being dozy, but it was time to go play now! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He held his little hands up and the big heavy grating slid open with almost no noise. Nice! Just like the sneaky heroes in the cartoons, he watched on the hollo-net!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span><em>Do-do-da-da-dum!</em> Sneaky sneaky! Sneak sneak sneak! Through the hall and past where the food was and <em>wa-ba-da-dum-dum-da-da-dum</em>, sneaky roll past the open door! Tada! The big room with the big window!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He could see all the bright lights go by while the Falcon zipped through space! It was pretty and really cool! Oh! And best was, if he had his wax sticks and paper and he looked out at the light for a bit, he'd start to feel all floaty and then the colors would whisper and show him pictures and make his hands move and draw those pictures on the paper!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His dad didn't seem to like those very much and that was too bad because they were fun to make. Most of the time he just shook his head and made a face but Ben knew he had to hide some of them because daddy didn't like when he drew pictures of the sad man, especially when he was wearing his black clothes and had his other face on when he made those his dad threw them away… </span>
  <span>So he didn't tell him that he saw the sad man sometimes, he was always too far away for Ben to talk to without shouting so he didn't. He wished he would come over though when people were sad they needed hugs to feel better and he wasn't sure why but he really wanted to hug the sad man. Maybe because he looked kind of like his mama? He didn't like it when she was sad either…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knew his uncle was coming into the room long before he got there but he was all done being sneaky so it was fine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He giggled when the big fluffy arms scooped him up, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hello Uncle Chewbacca!" </span>
  </em>
  <span>The words in Shreewook didn't fit quite right in his mouth so it probably sounded more like, "<em>Hewoooolo Unk Choooowie!</em>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Wookie laughed, a rolling warble that might be mistaken for a growl to the untrained ear, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>What do you think you're doing cub? You're going to make your dad go gray at this rate."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, he wasn't sure what the last part meant but as for the first… </span>
  <span>Ben pouted, puffing out his cheeks, with an overly dramatic sound he flopped backward, knowing that his uncle would keep hold of him. "Cuz I wanna go on adventures with you and daaaaaaad!" Upping the drama as only children can, he went completely limp, dangling upside down, "It's boring at home. Mama has to work all the time and the nanny droid is stupid… You guys get to go to all kinds of places and meet all kinds of people! You fight bad guys and stuff!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His uncle made a sound of uncertainty, a kind of "yeah, sure we do.", and began to swing Ben around gently while he thought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The boy giggled but otherwise left his uncle be. He could feel him thinking but not what specifically about, he wasn't going to prod though, you shouldn't listen to thoughts that weren't thought out loud. That was naughty and he was not naughty.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben squealed with delight when his uncle tossed him into the air, catching him right side up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay cub, how about we make a deal. A big person deal.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben's eyes grew wide as saucers. A big person deal?! Those were the most important kinds! The kinds that came with big person </span>
  <em>
    <span>responsibility</span>
  </em>
  <span>!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'll talk to your father about taking you with us on more trips. </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>But</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>, if we do, and we say it's dangerous you have to stay on the ship. Deal?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben pondered, "Does that mean I get to protect the Falcon? Open the door and stuff when you're running back?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"We could discuss that."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The boy hummed and nodded in a way that must be very adult, "Very well!" He imitated his mother's stuffy senate friends, "I will accept these terms Mr. Uncle Chewbacca!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Wookie laughed openly and hoisted the child to sit on his shoulder, "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Good. Now let's go scare your dad."</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>         Ben woke to a pang of longing in his chest and passive tears resting at the corners of his eyes. </span>
  <span>He hadn't dreamed of his childhood in...he didn't know...the finer details had already left him but the overall memory was still with him. It left a mix of feelings behind, the regret and sadness he expected, but also to his surprise the aforementioned longing. Even with his looming fears, he wanted to see his uncle again… It must have been that nostalgic feeling he'd been getting since the other night. Something about this ship must be reminding him of the Falcon.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A quick glance confirmed he was still stuck under the child pile. Looking wearily to his right confirmed Grogu's presence beside him, grinning like he was going to leap in at any moment now himself, and just behind the little green demon was the Mandalorian, staring silently at the understandably odd sight.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"We'll be touching down in a couple of hours." The armored man finally said, he gestured vaguely at a stack of crates, "there's food."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A cripplingly embarrassed Ben managed to nod his understanding scant seconds before Grogu launched himself onto his head like a giggling parasite.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>          When they touched down planetside it was close to mid-day. Desert wasn't really the right word for what Ben spied out of the few slim portholes. There was a lot of plant life surrounding the small, rarely used starship dock, they didn't quite look like variations of Cactaceae, but they were less lush and more rough and hardy than common flora. When the ship opened its external vents to allow the air in, it was fairly mild temperature-wise but it felt very dry, tasted dusty. Though it could just seem that way because of how humid it had been in the swamp.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben stood with the children by the primary entry ramp at the back of the ship, keeping them from falling down during the landing sequence. They should be sitting but they were all brimming with excess energy, born of excitement or nerves or both, so Ben quickly found it was easiest to just let them do what they wanted and catch them with the Force if they toppled and set them back on their feet. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was starting to suspect that many of these "falls" were not accidental. Cheeky little things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ship shuddered and rattled when it fully settled onto its struts. Moments later the Mandalorian came down from the cockpit to join them. He keyed the door to open and didn't so much as twitch when Grogu scrambled his way up to perch on the man's shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It took a moment for Ben to blink the harsh sunlight from his eyes. The docking port they'd landed on was as small as he'd assumed. It might even be the only one this settlement had. The tall walls built around the area were made of undecorated clay, white and bleached from extended exposure to the sun, with simple wooden slats for roofing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gathered around as close to the raised landing pad as was safe, was a cluster of numerous humanoids. Ben didn't have the time to properly take them all in before he was jostled by Fwi-Fwi in her excitement to get out the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"MAMA! PAPA!" The girl wailed, her little feet slapping on the metal of the ramp as she made a beeline for the two Gungans moving forward out of the crowd.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her mother, a similar reddish color with a yellow highlight instead of blue, dropped to her knees in the dust without hesitation and scooped her child up into her arms. The other Gungan, Fwi-Fwi's father, a warm brown with speckles of the same bright blue, was beside her instantly, and the two held their child tightly, sobbing in relief.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clif and Til ran down the ramp next, hand in hand, letting go only when their families emerged from the gathering.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A lone human woman with the same light brown hair caught Clif in her arms and held him to her. The boy began bawling immediately and she soothed him with soft whispers through her own silent tears.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Two men went to Til, they did not resemble him but their love for their son was clear as day when they scooped him up and showered him with affection. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden stood unmoving to Ben's left, his eyes locked on to a point out in the crowd. The boy was watching his parents as they approached; a human woman, tanned skin and wavy brown hair, and a Zabrak man, skin a bright yellow with rich black markings that Aden's own tattoos were clearly being modeled after. Ben could sense conflict in the child. Aden wanted to run to his parents as the other children had, but he didn't want to be seen as a baby, he wanted them to be proud of how strong he'd been.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gently Ben nudged him forward and offered a reassuring smile when the boy peered up at him. It was enough it seemed because Aden turned away and sprinted down the ramp. He stopped in front of his parents, little hands clenched by his sides.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I was strong!" He told them, mostly his father, "I didn't give up, not even when they hit me or when they broke my horn," his little voice cracked, "I didn't give up! I tried to escape every day, I made them real mad but I didn't stop trying!" Aden sniffed and his tears slipped free, "I- I didn't give up- I made it home!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden tensed in surprise when his father crouched down before him and put his arms around him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I know," even with the outward veneer of stony sternness, the emotion in the man's voice could not be missed, "I'm proud of you." He told his son, lifting him up into his arms so he and his wife could hug their child.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The dam broke and Aden burst into tears, hiding his face against his Father's neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Ben took the sight in for only a few moments. It was satisfying to feel the relief of these parents and know the children were finally back with their families. However, there was even more confusion and grief rising from those whose loved ones had not exited the ship. Ben tightened his grip on the strap of the bag, scanning the crowd for some sign of who to give this to. His eyes landed on the Mandalorian; he was speaking to a human man of considerable years a short distance from the gathering.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Well, that was as good a place to start as any…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Reminded once again of his bare feet as he tracked his way over the uncomfortably pebbled ferrocrete, Ben tried to think of some way he might be able to interject without being too awkward. For once the universe took pity on him, or maybe he was just very difficult to miss for how painfully out of place he was, but almost the moment he walked up both of the other men's attention was on him. Briefly, he sensed relief coming from the Mandalorian at the interruption, not irritation as he expected. Guess he wasn't the only one who didn't enjoy talking to people.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Umm…" he began, still having not thought of any kind of tactful way to say this, "I uh, I found these," he hoisted the bag up to indicate, "I think they belong here?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Whills he was completely terrible at talking to people wasn't he? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"We found several sets of remains," the bounty hunter clarified, "they're likely from many of those we were unable to save."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I see," the old man said, sadly, "We'll take them, run a bio scan to identify them, and see that the families can perform funeral rights."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The persistent chill that had been clinging to the bones since he'd found them pressed irritably at Ben's mind, like the beginnings of a nasty migraine. His eyes looked over the crowd again. He'd brought them home, what else did she want?!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One face caught his attention and refused to let go, the insistence trying futilely to force his feet in the direction of a young pale blue Twi'lek woman. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Okay! Okay, he got it! Hold on!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't break eye contact with the increasingly confused woman and blindly fished the appropriate bundle out of the bag, "Sorry, I have to do something." He told the old man, handing him the bag and leaving before he could protest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The small crowd parted for him when he approached, of course not without hushed whispers observing what an odd man he was. Though it hardly mattered at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The young woman looked up nervously at him, he could sense her warring hope and anxiety when she saw the bundle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Sas'temi?" Ben asked, the name coming easily once he'd seen her face. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded and wordlessly accepted the parcel from him, holding it close, like a baby, tears falling silently into the fabric. "She wanted to come home, didn't she?" Sas'temi asked, not seeming the slightest bit surprised now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes," Ben replied, not knowing what else to say.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Eyuzuao was always pushy like that, just because she could do magic." The woman offered him a sad but relieved smile, "Thank you for bringing my big sister home."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh… Then, she'd been there all alone for… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben could only nod dumbly, "I'm glad I could. I couldn't just leave her…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The chill was beginning to dissipate and there was the faintest of touches against the edges of his mind. It felt like thanks. There was none needed but it wasn't like he could say that to whatever fragment of the girl's spirit had been trapped in her corpse. To leave her and the others there would have been wrong, he could feel that in his core, there had never been any other option.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sas'temi said nothing further to him, turning away and disappearing into the crowd once more.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I didn't know that you had a partner," he heard the old man say as he trudged back over, still feeling like a weird outsider but not knowing what else to do. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I hope the payment we offered will suffice, I fear we don't have anything more." The elder continued.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"No, I'm not," Ben answered before the Mandalorian had to answer for him, "I just happened to be on the planet and when I saw what was happening I couldn't ignore it…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The old man nodded smiling kindly, but the look of gratitude quickly turned to an underlying confusion, "I see. But, if I may, young man, you separated all these and you knew which to give to poor Sas'temi. How is that?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"The boy's a Jedi," the Mando told him in the same flat tone as he had everything else so far.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben started, "How could you even know that?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The bounty hunter gestured to his little green companion, "It wasn't difficult to figure out."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu snickered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben opened his mouth to protest but immediately gave up, there wasn't much point, and even if there was it wasn't even remotely the time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The old man stammered, "Stars, a Jedi? I- thank you! Bless you, for returning those we had lost. We must thank you somehow!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben took a step back, "No, you don't need to thank me. Please, I couldn't possibly accept anything, I just wanted to make sure everyone got home. I-" That sense of guilty unease was crawling back up his spine. He really couldn't accept any kind of thanks, if they knew who he was, what he'd done, how much he was to blame for the theft of their children… They'd string him up on the spot, not thank him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't think Jedi are supposed to accept rewards for anything," the Mando commented offhandedly, like he was bored, "They have all kinds of codes and oaths and vows. Best you can probably get him to let you do is just say thank you."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah, yes I see," the old man acquiesced with a nod, "I still feel it is not nearly enough to express the importance of what you helped do for us Sir Jedi, but I hope that you will accept our deepest thanks."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I-" he didn't deserve them but, "You're welcome."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Mr. Ben!" Fwi-Fwi's voice called out and he turned to see her running over, parents in tow. "Mr. Ben," she hopped up and down excitedly, "This is my Mommy and Daddy! Mommy, Daddy! This is Mr. Ben! He rescued us! He's gots magic!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The two Gungans inclined their heads, bowing slightly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Words can't express how grateful we are to you," Fwi-Fwi's mother said politely, her eyes still sparkled with the tears she'd shed, "We were so afraid that we wouldn't ever see her again."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The father nodded solemnly, "So many people went missing but no one ever replied to our calls for help."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"There just weren't enough republic officers they told us, and we are out so very far." Clif's mother added softly as she joined them, her son curled up in her embrace, looking like he might soon fall asleep. Not a surprise considering all the kid had been through.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Till and Aden's parents quickly joined in on the conversation and Ben tried not to squirm as it drew more and more attention from the crowd onto him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Never thought we'd be hiring a bounty hunter," one of Til's fathers admitted, "Reputation doesn't really paint them as masters of delicacy."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His husband nodded in agreement, "At that point, I think we were desperate enough to try almost anything. If nothing else we could see those horrible people stopped…" he smiled down at Til, who cocked his head, not quite understanding what his dad meant, "I'm glad we hired him. I'm glad you were there as well, however you happened to stumble upon it."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"As are we," Aden's father added, "perhaps you are not part of the crew of the hunter we hired, but I hope you will accept a portion of the payment. I am sure he will have no qualms, he seems an honorable man."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben hesitated, "I really appreciate it but I can't accept anything from you. Thanks are more than enough."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Zabrak regarded him sternly, "My son and the other children have been telling us that you can do "magic". You are a Jedi I take it?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This </span>
  <em>
    <span>again…</span>
  </em>
  <span> "I'm-" Ben resigned himself to the truth of the situation, "I'm in training, I'm not a Jedi yet."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden's father nodded like that explained everything, "Then please allow me to be clear. You did help return our children to us and it was no insignificant part. I understand that your creed may not allow you to accept payment for your deeds. However if you are concerned that accepting our credits might place a burden on us then rest assured, it does not. Had we the collective skills and connections to perform the search ourselves we would have used the credits for that purpose. Hiring the bounty hunter was simply a faster, more effective means to that end. Either way, the money is gone. Consider that before you say no."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Several murmurs of agreement floated up from the other townspeople. Even those who had lost family or friends to the slavers, while grieved, had gained a type of peace, of closure. Knowing it was over and that those who were responsible would not be able to do it again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I understand," Ben replied, "I just don't think what I did constitutes the need for payment. I'm glad enough that I got them home."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both the gathered parents and townsfolk did not agree but they did accept his answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden's mother offered Ben a kind smile, "If nothing else I do hope that you'll visit us the next time you're out this way. You'll always be welcome in our homes."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben felt his cheeks heat up  further in embarrassment, "Of course, if I do,"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>An insistent tug on his pants leg brought his attention back to Fwi-Fwi, who stared up at him with a profoundly concerned expression and tearful eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You're gonna come back right?" She asked, the bottom of her bill quivering.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Til squirmed in his father's arms, "Even just to say hello?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Please?" Clif added softly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A feeling Ben couldn't quite identify pressed hard against the inside of his ribs.  It was painful, but not in a particularly bad way. It was confusing. "I'll try," he told them, "I don't know when that might be though."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He heard Aden's boots hit the dirt and only a moment later the little Dathomirian was staring up at Ben with that same hard as durasteel expression, holding his hand up as close to the man's face as he could, pinky finger out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Promise!" A demand, not a request, "You'll come and visit when you're nearby, and you won't forget about us!" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other children voiced their agreement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben crooked his own pinky with the boy's, "Promise."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"And you'll show us your temple too!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben blinked as the gathered adults laughed, "I don't have a temple…"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You will!" Aden insisted, "All Jedis do. So when you're all done becoming a Jedi and get a temple you gotta show us and-!" His cheeks darkened, "and you gotta teach me to fight like you do! Maybe I'm not magic but I'm strong, and I'm gonna get even stronger! So you gotta teach me and then I'll be able to protect people too!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Me too me too!" Fwi-Fwi chimed, hopping around in excitement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Us too," Til ventured and Clif made a quiet, if unsure, sound of agreement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The amusement of the adults grew further and Ben stumbled a little over his response. How serious was he supposed to take this demand? They were just kids, they were far too young to just decide on a life path like that. Besides, it was probably painfully clear that there was no way in the nine hells that he could look after four children for any sort of extended time!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he needed to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>something!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"If the Force wills it." He ventured. Yes, that was probably the best response he could give.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Aden's eyes widened, his expression shifting from stern, to surprised, and then to something split between melancholy and joy. Before Ben could add anything else the boy dropped the tough act entirely and hugged the man who'd saved him, squeezing his arms as tight around his middle as possible.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fwi-Fwi made a warbly wail and threw her own little arms around his leg.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben was forced to crouch down lest he fall over and Aden switched to hugging his neck instead and Fwi-Fwi claimed a spot at Ben's side, pushing her way under one of his arms. He looked up at another distressed sound and saw Till and Clif being set down by their parents, a split second later they were running into him full bore, like the force of their impact directly correlated with how good the hug was.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"We're gonna miss you, Mr. Ben!" Fwi-Fwi wailed, pushing her face harder into his side, "You gotta call us too! Please!?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That tight not bad pain in his chest grew stronger and Ben actually felt a slight pressure begin to form behind his eyes. He'd always felt things too much, too strong, and whatever this feeling was it was no exception. Maybe that was just how kids were? Declared themselves your friend even after only a day and snuck into your heart and made a place for themselves. It was becoming more and more obvious that his own childhood wasn't as accurate to how the world worked as he'd thought...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay," he promised the little girl, "as soon as I get a com," when and however </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> was going to happen, "I'll call."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Promise?" Aden asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Promise."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>          Goodbyes could not last forever. Whether the kids liked it or not they needed to rest and then start the process of healing the wounds their traumatic experience left behind. Those that had loved ones who had not come back would have to start preparing whatever funeral arrangements they needed and begin mourning them in full. </span>
  <span>And Ben, Ben needed to… well he didn't know. </span>
  <span>He was glad that he'd saved these children obviously, but he didn't feel any better overall. Any difficulty he'd gone through didn't feel even like a drop in the bucket of what he deserved. Even more so considering that he'd somehow befriended the children and their families and community…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His zoning out was brought to an end when the Mandalorian rapped his metal gauntlet on the side of the ship to get his attention.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other man wasted no time getting to the point, "Where are you headed?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, sorry. Nowhere specific," Ben admitted solemnly, he'd been wasting this guy's time just milling about, "You can just drop me off at the nearest junction station. Get me out of your hair, uh, helmet?" Another riveting bit of witticism...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The Mandalorian stared at him, "If that's what you want."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu made a sound of distress and slid down from his guardian's shoulder, rushing the short distance to Ben, grabbing hold of his pants leg, babbling up at him in chirps and coos.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No! No no! No, go! Stay! Stay with us! Don't go away and be sad! Stay and be happy! Please! We will miss you so much…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The plea hurt to hear, the feelings and slivers of recollection joining the telepathic cry. A connection made albeit briefly. The sad human boy, kept so far away from them by a shadow. It hurt to not be able to help him. Now he was back and free and maybe their paths could entwine for a time and they could properly be friends.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Grogu…" Ben said quietly, not knowing what else to add. Attachments came too easily to people like them. It was best to just let them go. The Jedi always said as much and his own past was not something Grogu should have to potentially encounter.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"What is he saying?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben looked up at the Mando, closer now, arms crossed, and he felt like he was being evaluated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I know Jedi can understand each other even if they don't speak the same language. What is he saying?" The bounty hunter repeated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"He's sad," Ben told him, "He's saying goodbye."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shrieking indignantly, Grogu pounded on his leg with his little fists.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The air turned cold and Ben was shocked that the sudden rush of anger was not from Grogu. It was the Mandalorian.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"That's the first rule then." The armored man said, with the finality of an arbiter passing judgment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite himself, Ben asked, "What rule?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"The first rule for you staying on my ship; don't </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> lie to me again. You don't want to answer something, you say so, and we'll leave it. But you never lie."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Staying on- but he wasn't-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Second rule. You don't do anything to knowingly put us in danger, especially the kid. You do that and you'll be napping in carbonite."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wait, hold on!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Third, this is not a charity. You stay on board, you pull your weight. Doesn't mean you have to do jobs but you will make yourself useful."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>W-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Four, if you do participate in a job you get a third of the reward minus the cost of keeping you."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't need money." Of all the things that he could have finally forced himself to say, that was nowhere NEAR what he actually should!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You do," the older man informed him, "The universe isn't a utopia. You'll need gear, basic supplies, tools. Even more, if you go off on your own." He gestured at Ben indicating him in his entirety, "Are you just going to keep wearing that?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>While clear of the mud and muck from the swamp, parts of Ben's clothes had been irreversibly stained and the rips and fraying had gotten worse. They might technically be wearable now, but they weren't going to last much longer…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What was the right choice? Ben worried at his lip as he struggled to make it. He felt terrible guilt at the idea of saying yes. Like he might be taking advantage of them or deceiving them. Certainly, he didn't deserve- </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Don't deserve what? Support? You're killing me, kid!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-on the other hand. He might not understand the why and he might not like it, but the Force </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> led him here. Had brought him to the remains of the girl, to the children, to Grogu. He'd sought guidance and this was what he'd been given. He didn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to follow this path he'd been shown but, he did get the distinct impression that if he milled about and did nothing that he might get his ass kicked…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I agree," he finally said, "whatever the rules are I'll follow them, as long as it doesn't hurt innocent people."  He was pretty sure that wasn't something this guy did but best to just make that clear, "I don't need any kind of special accommodations or anything like that, but, if I'm staying, if I'm agreeing, I want to know your name." Ben shifted his weight awkwardly, "Your real name. I'm not calling you Mando… Or bucket head." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Said bucket head regarded him for a painfully long moment, and just when Ben was starting to think he was probably about to get shot, he spoke, "Din Djarin," </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not a name he recognized but there was no deceit in the man's answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm Ben Solo,"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To his complete befuddlement, Din </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not a terribly joyous laugh, more a derisive snort, but still! </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Stars, of course, it is,"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben felt his eye twitch. How?! Was this guy force-sensitive too?! How in the galaxy did he know-!?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Copilot is all grown up then."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You knew my dad?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Din shook his head, "No. Never met him. Had a pretty big reputation, saw his mug on plenty of bounty tags."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah…" Ben managed awkwardly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not going to find one with your name on it am I, Copilot?" Din asked, deadly serious.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben, unfortunately, couldn't answer with anything other than sarcastic honestly, because he was both a Skywalker and a Solo and this sort of thing was hardwired into his DNA, "Not yet I don't think."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Din sighed in resignation and made his way up the ship's entry ramp, "Just get on board."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grogu whooped in delight and swiped at Ben's ankles like some kind of herding animal, hurrying his new minion onto the Razor Crest!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>TBC</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HUZZAH! May the 4th be with you! ;P </p>
<p>TFW you save a bunch of space kids and they adopt you and there's nothing you can do about it &lt;3 Still working on the illustrations based on bits of this chapter, but they should be on my Tumblr soon. Feel free to poke around there periodically to see if it's up! X)</p>
<p>I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As always let me know if there are any mistakes that I missed or tags that I should add!</p>
<p>Your feedback is super helpful and gives me creative fuel so I would love to know what you thought! Also, if you want to check out my artwork or even just say hello, feel free to stop by my art Tumblr! Here--&gt; http://cc-sketchbook.tumblr.com or my Twitter --&gt; @chaos_child</p>
<p>See you guys next time! ~ Much love, CC</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It has begun! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As always let me know if there are any mistakes that I missed or tags that I should add!</p><p>Your feedback is super helpful and gives me creative fuel so I would love to know what you thought! Also, if you want to check out my artwork or even just say hello, feel free to stop by my art tumblr! Here--&gt; http://cc-sketchbook.tumblr.com</p><p>See you guys next time! ~ Much love, CC</p></blockquote></div></div>
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